Thread: Selflessness

Do you think it's achievable? Have you ever practiced it or witnessed it first hand from another?

Yep. When I was little, I had a friend whose mother was one of the most loving persons you could meet. The woman had a second-grade reading level, never read a passage from the Bible, didn't have a crucifix in her home, and never sent her children to church. Yet, despite all of this, she was saintly. She didn't have to read any words that taught people how to behave because she lived that type of life. I trusted her more than I trusted any priest in the local parish.

The vibrations in her home were so calm and peaceful, that, if heaven did exist, anyone who sat in her kitchen was given a glimpse of it. The woman was incredible, and her son was a beautiful person too. (You could believe this or not, but I know it's the truth--this woman was so content in her three-room flat with her children that she would have refused a house made of gold in the suburbs if it would have been offered to her for free.)

In a street festival, I once won a parakeet for her by pitching a coin onto a plate. She had trained the bird so well, that nearly everytime I went up the apartment to see my friend, the parakeet would be perched comfortably on her shoulder. But "selflessness" (I believe) is a trait inherited from other people practicing it for generations. In a nutshell, the "selfishness" pumping from this woman's heart flowed through every vein in her body. And this unique "gift" she possessed could be neither taught nor purchased because it lived in her heart. When the heart rules, mountains crumble.

She reminded me of a Native-American, a very gentle and wise one.


I recall an expression of yesteryear: "Sports are born." This meant that it was difficult (not impossible) to teach a person to be generous. However, today in our camera culture, everyone wants his or her generosity to go viral. Personally, I like to think of the woman (in the New Testament?) who gave her last penny away as the yardstick for measuring true generosity. Thus, the billionaire who gives a million to charity isn't giving much.

I think the very idea of selflessness is absurd. Modesty is one thing, but to put others before yourself is only an invitation to be walked on.

You must live a very lonely life to make a statement like that. I've known people who would rush through a wall of flames to rescue one of their children. I've known friends willing to risk their necks for other friends and perhaps even a stranger. When the planet turns as cold as your statemrnt, it's time for a new species to take the lead.

Lmfao!

Originally Posted by Mike

I think the very idea of selflessness is absurd. Modesty is one thing, but to put others before yourself is only an invitation to be walked on.

Seriously?
Selflessness is a beautiful thing. Sure, people could be harsh at first but in the long run you will be respected and loved for what you do. Not many people are brave enough to be completely selfless. I'll confess to being a rather selfish person but to say that the idea of selflessness is absurd is blasphemy!

The firefighters who helped raised me were very altruistic. They and I rushed through flames to try and save people's homes and the community, at the rate of four dollars per call. When it became obvious that I was repeatedly abused at home, they adjusted the attitude of my abuser, which ended the abusing.

I joined my church in 1994. About a year later, I was helping some church members build a deck for some trailers on church property that we use to house the homeless. Listening to the men, I realize that I'm the only one there not making six figures. They could've afforded to hire someone to do the work, but they're doing the work, for free.

These are the same people who drove me around when an unscrupulous wrecker driver illegally took my car. They helped recover my car. They refused my offers of gas money.

They also came to the hospital and kept vigil while I was in ICU. They picked me up when I checked out of the hospital and they looked after my car and home while I was in the hospital. They asked for nothing in return.

I never said I didn't care about altruism, philanthropy, and running (naked?) through fire. Let's look at the definition of selflessness for a moment.

(Dictionary.com | Free Online Dictionary for English Definitions)

"1. Having little or no concern for oneself, especially in regard to fame, position, money, etc; unselfish.
2. Having little concern for one's own interest."

I simply can't tell you that I don't regard my self and my interests when I help other people through charitable acts of goodness like hugging teddy bears and bottling sunshine and hurling it at people less fortunate. I do think about these acts and how they affect my own life, whether they'll hurt or hinder my personal character, or if I have the time and dedication to do them. For example, I'll help out at a soup kitchen or a charity sale like any one else, but I'm not going to go to the extreme, helping more and more people, exhausting myself to the point of breaking, just trying to achieve the so-called noble principle of selflessness.

I have to agree with Mike. The woman in Post #2 could only be the way she was while she had the capacity to be that way. If there had been something come along to threaten her very existence, I think we might have seen a quite different side to her.

Not understanding 'Lmfao', I googled for it and found it to be the name of a band. What's the connection with selflessness?

We have to give part of ourselves to help others or we wouldn't be human.

Originally Posted by garza

Not understanding 'Lmfao', I googled for it and found it to be the name of a band. What's the connection with selflessness?

We have to give part of ourselves to help others or we wouldn't be human.

Ley has apparently gained weight.

Good for Ley. Is Ley a selfless person to the extent of being held up as a model of selflessness? I'll take another look at the band.

Not only is it achievable, its commonplace – happens all the time. Just as often as there are acts of selfishness there are acts of selflessness, albeit much more difficult to witness due to the nature of being selfless.

Let us suppose there’s something you want or need, to any degree it doesn’t matter, you might really want or need it or just ‘kind of’, but, there’s only one left and someone else wants it as well. So you let them have it. Now that would be an act of selflessness – its no big deal, its not tomorrow’s headline, but still. And, you commit this act in such a way as to allow the other person to think that you really do not want or need it as much as you do. Not only does the other person get to have it, but they also get to walk away not feeling guilty about taking it [from you].

‘Having little or no concern for oneself’ is false. The person who commits a ‘selfless deed’ has the same amount of concern for their self as does the person who commits the average ‘selfish deed’; the former just has it in them to show greater concern for someone else. Fame, position, money and life threatening scenarios are hardly the case 99.9% of the time.

Originally Posted by ppsage

Ley has apparently gained weight.

Yes, it's the new craze. More effective than P90X.

Originally Posted by garza

Not understanding 'Lmfao', I googled for it and found it to be the name of a band. What's the connection with selflessness?

Originally Posted by ppsage

Ley has apparently gained weight.

Originally Posted by garza

Good for Ley. Is Ley a selfless person to the extent of being held up as a model of selflessness? I'll take another look at the band.

LMFAO - What does LMFAO stand for? Acronyms and abbreviations by the Free Online Dictionary. << Click

Whilst I would agree that there are people who act in an apparently selfless manner my feeling is that for most of them this way of living provides its own rewards, however, it then becomes a way of life, a habit. Let me illustrate, as a young man I taught water sports in Spain for a bit and generally ran the beach, one day there was a storm and fifteen foot waves crashing into a narrow bay created a strong undertow. I put up red flags and a chalk board advising of the dangers and half way through the morning saw some one being carried out to sea. I went in without thinking and pulled him out, then when we got to the beach he started thanking me and calling me some kind of hero for putting my own life in danger to save his. The 'hero' then mouthed him off very badly, apparently for putting both lives in danger when there was loads of warning, actually because I hadn't stopped to think about what I was exposing myself to until after the event. If there had been time to think about it, if there had not been the social pressure of being in charge, would I then still have put myself at risk for another. It is nice to think I would, I would like to be that sort of person, but if that would be enough to make me one I really could not say.

On the other hand, how much do the motives matter when it is the actions that count?