Thread: Is love even real?

Or is it just some myth people invented to entertain themselves and blame their stupitidy on? I've seen a lot of people do some really dumb things because they're "in love" Right now, I can't see myself going stupid over a guy like that. I'm not trying to be a cynic here; I really used to believe in love without a doubt. But now, while still open to the idea, I'm beginning to question whether it's real or not. I think part of it is because of the people in my life. As I've said in the arranged marriage thread, I'm skeptical about love happening in that kind of situation, and then there are all these really young girls who are getting married to guys they barely know, already declaring their love for them, and it makes me even more doubtful.

So do you think it's real? Why/why not? Also, if you think it's real, do you think it's something that's hard to find, or can it be just handed to you on a silver platter?

A rose is a rose by any other name.

Yes. I know it by the special feeling I get when I look at my guy that is not just being attracted to his physical appearance or his personality or his voice, but really seeing all of him, and knowing who he is, and being irrationally emotional in my pleasure at him and our interconnectedness.

Love is an irrational, emotional, attachment; it's real. Not always or for everyone. Much too much is made of it in abstract or general terms, it is only real on a personal level in most cases, though human beings are wonderfully varied.
Milton Erickson told a story that he did not start talking until he was three, people used to worry but his mother would say "He will talk when he is ready to talk". His sister started talking at the age of 18 months and hasn't stopped yet, she still hasn't said anything.
Love is a bit like that, and there are as many different sorts as there are ways of talking,

Yeah love is real, but there are different kinds. I'm assuming you're talking about the more rare, romantic "in love" stuff.

I had that once, so I know it's real.

As Olly said, it's irrational and emotional. So unless you experience it, you will assume it doesn't exist because it's not an intellectual thing to comprehend.

Medically speaking, no. Technically, love is just a release of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine from the brain.

On a personal level, yes. I believe it does exist. It's hard to explain, but it's like the first time you laid eyes on someone and felt your breath leave you with a jolt. That connection. That spark. Somewhere deep inside, you know that what you're feeling is more than a crush or a strong attraction. It's pure, unadulterated love.

Originally Posted by Sam W

Medically speaking, no. Technically, love is just a release of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine from the brain.

Technically, this is incorrect as you have two qualities when it comes to emotions and beliefs. You have a chemical explanation for what is happening in the human body at the time, and you have the content of the belief/emotion which is only accessible on a subjective level, which is in your mind. So it isn't just a chemical thing, and it would be crazy to believe that because chemicals aren't thoughts or concepts. That's why I hate this saying that people have: "Oh, it's chemistry, man". No...

Yes it is.

Originally Posted by Baron

Yes it is.

Want a bet? You can get evens on love being real...

Most people have loved a parent or a guardian, and many have been loved by them in return. Some have brothers, sisters, daughters or sons, some nobody but their friends. But almost anyone who's been a child knows that love exists. (I feel very sorry for the relatively few people who had a completely loveless childhood. I can't imagine that.)

From my experience loving a sex partner's totally different, and I don't know why we even use the same word for it. Not everyone finds that kind of love at all and I suppose I can see why some might feel that kind of love is just a case of the Emperor's New Clothes. It's all just pretend, right? Something between a meaningless platitude and a code for "please perform oral sex on me tonight", right?

Well, I think it's wrong, and that love between partners exists, but I can't prove it to you.

I can tell you there's an emotional place I can reach where her happiness is worth far more to me than mine. A place where I'd peel my hands with a salami slicer if only it'd make her smile.

But I can't make you believe it.

Originally Posted by Non Serviam

Most people have loved a parent or a guardian, and many have been loved by them in return. Some have brothers, sisters, daughters or sons, some nobody but their friends. But almost anyone who's been a child knows that love exists. (I feel very sorry for the relatively few people who had a completely loveless childhood. I can't imagine that.)

From my experience loving a sex partner's totally different, and I don't know why we even use the same word for it. Not everyone finds that kind of love at all and I suppose I can see why some might feel that kind of love is just a case of the Emperor's New Clothes. It's all just pretend, right? Something between a meaningless platitude and a code for "please perform oral sex on me tonight", right?

Well, I think it's wrong, and that love between partners exists, but I can't prove it to you.

I can tell you there's an emotional place I can reach where her happiness is worth far more to me than mine. A place where I'd peel my hands with a salami slicer if only it'd make her smile.

But I can't make you believe it.

No... I am having a tough time with that last one. Don't sign me up.

Oh yeah, the romantic kind of love is definitely real. I've felt that way, and it's a powerful, steamrolling kind of emotion that, though magical, can make you act irrationally bigtime. It's hard to describe; it's more than just a sexual longing. If I believed in souls, I would say it's an attraction to the soul.

For me, if there's love, it's a feeling of absolute peace and acceptance with that person, of trusting them and knowing them on a more intimate level than anyone else. A kind of connectedness. But I'll just say right now I'm not that experienced with love so I wouldn't give my thoughts here too much weight.

If I were to guess, which I will, I would guess that the distinction between platonic love and romantic love exists in many other languages.

It is really weird that we use the same word, they are somewhat related but completely different.

not in german, the word is the same, but how it is used in a sentence is different.

Sort of like the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone

That's interesting. I love linguistics.