Poem - Writers Forum

silverfoxgirl · 07-04-2008, 10:52 PM

This is another piece that I wrote for school (gag)

In a quaint little town,

at the edge of the world,

there is a place where

two streets lie,

connect together,

form a Y,

then become

One.

Holly Street,

Perfect

as the rich inhabitants,

who dwell in

Huge

pastel castle-houses,

grounds carpeted by

lush green lawns

bordered by

Spotless

white picket fences.

Maple Street,

Run down and Lonely

As those who live there

in

Small,

grey houses

with

Chipped

paint

surrounded by

Yellowed

lawns

protected by

Rutsy

chain-link fences.

Separated

By more than asphalt

By more than the fences on their lawns

The two never touch

At

First glance

But

At the end of the world where the two streets lie,

one day they connect together,

and they

are only

One.

-Hannah Mulligan

PrisonerOfPrey · 07-06-2008, 12:39 PM

why is it center spaced? Most poetry looks better and reads easier when left of center. Also, this could be improved with some different breaks...ones that give you a longer phrase and image. This is alright, but it can be improved a lot with just some twiddling.