She was anxious to leave, since
the last time she had set foot in a house of any kind was nearly seven years ago and she had no desire since then to break the habit.
The last time Ophelia had set foot in town, she had almost been stoned to death.
Copy and paste your story on the web site and look at the being verbs
Aztekera - Tools - To Be Verbs Analyzer
It had mean something moreIt had mean something more - 'had TO mean
he was writing on - Not good. Fix that somehow.
I liked it. It read smoothly and had enough action and suspense to keep me reading. I thought it was very good.