r0ck0sauruzzz

I need some advice for this beginning. It sounds odd...I can't bear to write on until it gets...fixed.
~~~
It’s the static charges...just another angry pound to the ground.

And it happened again.

It was yet another attempt to kill Perversion, which even carried with light, couldn't be seen because it still was a bright happy morning. Each strike to the ground scared her, and it wasn’t the noise that was frightening. Rather, it was ‘Why?’

Why wasn’t she able to see it? Why didn’t anyone do anything? Why was she still scared of it? Why did the world still go round? But most importantly, why did it try to kill Perversion?

__________________
Too Much Caffeine Gonna Rot Ya Soul...

Wildcard

I would love to help but I'm afraid this opening is a bit vague. I have no idea what your piece is referring to. I know it has something to do with lightning, but I cant tell you much other than that.

__________________

TheRaven12

I agree with Wildcard. More information is definitely needed concerning what you want the piece to be, by the ways it's pretty cool.

__________________
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway... Mihir Chhangani

lin

Definitely too vague.
This line is completely meaningless, and worthless as communication.
You need to keep flights of fancy within the same airspace as the general public.

__________________

r0ck0sauruzzz

Yeah, I guess I oughtta continue first. ~wait~

__________________
Too Much Caffeine Gonna Rot Ya Soul...