panicnight26

An essay I wrote for English on Romeo and Juliet. I need tips on grammar and sentence structure.



Fate plays a tremendous role in the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. From the instant the two teenagers (who are from feuding families) first see each other, the events leading up to their disastrous fates are put into action.

Romeo is a loyal member of the Montague family. Juliet is a devoted member of the Capulet family. However, as soon as the two children meet for the first time, they immediately fall in love, regardless of all that. Unfortunately for the two, their fate is to never be together. They are from two rival families who will never allow it. Romeo and Juliet see it all as nonsense.

In the balcony scene, Romeo and Juliet express their love for each other, explaining their desire to get married. Their feelings for each other are so strong, that their separate heritages doesn’t bother either of them at all. Juliet speaks about how foolish name are, that if you “call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet.” Although backgrounds are not important to the two of them, it matters deeply to their families. Romeo and Juliet have no chance of getting permission to wed. Fate brings the two together, only to have them suffer.

After falling in love with Juliet, Romeo becomes weak and girlish, and his feminism causes him to accidentally have Mercutio killed by Tybalt. Overcome with guilt, Romeo pleads; “O sweet Juliet, they beauty hath made me effeminate”. As an act of vengeance, Romeo murders Tybalt, resulting in the worst punishment possible; permanent banishment from the town, away from Juliet forever.

Tybalt’s death was an act of fate. As if things were not already hard enough for Romeo and Juliet, they had another event working against their chance as a couple. Being Juliet’s cousin, Tybalt’s death enrages the Capulet family, and a grudge begins to grow against Romeo, now that they have real reason to despise him.

After Lord and Lady Capulet arrange a marriage between Paris and Juliet, Friar Laurence devises a plan to have Juliet run away with Romeo. He gives her a dangerous potion that would make her appear dead to her family. Romeo was never given the letter which explained the plan, due to a failed delivery by Friar John. Instead, he was informed of false information; that Juliet had actually passed away. Afterwards, Romeo goes to her tomb and kills himself by drinking poison. Juliet then awakes to find Romeo dead, and commits suicide as well. “There rust, and let me die”, she cried with her last words. Just before stabbing herself, Juliet kisses Romeo’s lips, in hopes that she could take some of the remaining poison in order to kill herself. This could be seen as fate, an event similar to when the two met for the first time; Romeo kisses Juliet to get the “sin” off his lips, and Juliet kisses him to give it back.

After their deaths, the two families begin to finally make peace. Overall, it was an extremely unlikely ending which required absolute perfect circumstances to happen the way it did. In the end, fate kills Romeo and Juliet in order to settle the awful relationship between the Montagues and the Capulets, ending the play in a meaningful disaster.

omginternetlord

Change the "doesn't" to "don't" (or put "coming from" between "their" and "separate" which sounds better in my opinion), and the "name" to "names" in the 3rd paragraph.

Apart from that it sounds pretty decent.

claire_conroy

Here are the few tips I can share regarding the right sentence structure:

- The very first paragraph should introduce the thesis of the essay and direct to the main supporting subtopics
- The main message should always be in a main subject-verb position.
- Make use of parallelism for clarity and efficiency purpose.
- Always write in passive voice

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RinK

Nice. The ending was my favorite part. "Meaningful disaster" were the perfect words to describe it, I think.

duston

Need more quotes.
Also, you've not really done anything other than summarise the plot, no real analysis.

claire_conroy

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Katastrof

This is quite amusing. I'm doing the exact same essay for my major English assignment.

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Read:

When The Man Comes Around

"Carpe Diem, quam minimum credula postero"
(Seize the day put no trust in tomorrow.) ~ Horace

claire_conroy

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