Jax1108

Ok guys, I wrote this short story the other day at work. A fly flew in my ear and instantly this came to me....don't really know how to explain that. Anyway, a few days prior I was reading some humourous stories on here and was thinking "Man, I am not funny I couldn't write something like that." Little did I realize at the time that if I just wrote in my point of view, it would come out weird....hopefully therefore granting some humour....
That is probably the whole driving force of this story hehe. It is completly from my point of view (so you will get to know me a little bit ). This is also my first attempt at a short story. Me and Tiamat had a pretty good laugh with it, so we wanted to see if anyone but the two MC's would think so Let me know what you think!
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A loud buzz and feathery flutter assaulted my ear. I jerked my head to the side, ripping my gaze from the computer screen. I waved my hands in the air while taking a few steps back, trying to intercept my insect brain stealer,or whatever the hell it is they like to do around your ears. They say every other time a fly lands, it either vomits or defecates. Nasty creatures. I rubbed my ear, glaring at the fly as it flew off.

Strange. I had never seen a fly at work. Then again, I am a strange person and say strange- no, stupid things like suggesting a fly couldn't get into an electronics store. Oh well. It must have been the migraine. And that fly hadn't helped my already agitated mood.

Pharyngitis - which was really just a big, scary name for a sore throat - that’s what I had. Not the lethal ear infection I thought it would be. For a moment I thought the doctor was off her rocket when she said my canal was "nice and shiny and clean." Then again, I am like my dad; proud enough to argue with someone with a medical degree about my diagnosis.

I really didn't want to be here today, and being sick was only part of it. Yesterday, it was the alcoholic store manager that got me in a bad mood. That and how she kept bitching at my hard-working boyfriend, who never receives any recognition for all the extra hours and effort he puts in. When she told him "Why is it so hard to just keep it on?" -Referring to the horrific new bowler-style button up shirts the installers had to wear, which was not ideal for sweaty labor and a stuffy garage – he almost had a mind to respond with "Why is it so hard for you to not drink on the job?"

We talked about turning her in, but there was no evidence to prove anything. That and she was incredibly productive for a drunk on the job. I envied that slightly, if only for a moment thinking about my weakened state. Working with a migraine is like sitting on the chassis of a car in a junk yard and yelling at it to go. I didn't bother to power on the car radio decks or satellite radio receivers. Instead I immediately logged onto the company computer and got on the Writer's Forums.

Just as I began to lose myself in a poorly written blob of fiction, it happened again. "Damn fly!" I cursed as I swatted at it again, only that time it was a tiny gnat. A trip to the bathroom, and to the break room for a drink (cause great Zeus it got boring back in the corner of the store), made me think that Best Buy might be having a bug problem. And they all seemed to be following me! I bent down to scramble the dial on my locker, when another fly flew in my face, touching my lips. I flung myself back, spitting and sputtering.

"Gosh damnit!! What the hell!" I yelled in anger, wiping my mouth viciously with my sleeve. I turned to stomp out, and then I heard giggling. And unless flies could giggle, I better go back to the doctor and get my brain checked out this time.

Slowly I turned around, and standing before me was a tall, curly haired women. And she was not wearing any Best Buy uniform.
"W-what the hell..."

The women hugged her stomach, leaning over in a fit of laughter. "Oh my goodness Jax, you should have seen your face!"

I stared. Certainly this wasn't real. I pinched myself –which was dumb cause I have been punched, shot, and even beaten on the back with a shovel by a reindeer in my dreams—all of which I had felt.It must be these antibiotics. I never knew amoxicillin could cause delusions.

"Who-"

"Oh come on! You don't your own mentor?" She said with a grin.

Then it clicked; which was amazing because I wasn't even able to figure out how to lock my apartment door this morning.
"Tiamat?"

She responded with more uproarous laughter.

I should have known. A shape-shifter. Then again, how could I. Those aren't real...are they?

Well, apparently they are. Cause there I stood, gawking at a friend who I have never met; who just happened to turn in a fly to torment me. This is great. Where do I start?

"Steph...what...how...?" I couldn't even begin! Truth was I wanted to hug her, to introduce myself formally to this women I knew only from the internet. But something about her being a troublesome shape-shifter kept me from doing that. And kept me from being able to make much sense of reality, too. Reality? What is that anyway. I should've asked her, she always has all the answers.

Her giggles faded off, and with a coy smile she placed a finger to her lips. "There will be plenty of time to chat in the Andes, but right no--"

"The Andes?!"

"Shh!" She hissed, before lowering her voice. "There is stuff for me to attend to." She said with a wink. Before I could object, and ask for a favor ( I have ALWAYS wanted a pocket sized elephant!), she begin to change.

Her hair grew longer, transforming from black waves to orange spiraling curls. It was like watching one of those computer generated commercials for some sort of over the counter cold drug. Her cheekbones pulled in, skin changing to a fair complexion. Her once sweet, Scandanavian apperance was now the persona of my 80's rocker chick Store Manager.

My jaw dropped. She looked exactly like her. Down to the stomach high skirt she wore. She winked at me again, but it was sorta creepy. I felt like my brain had a hard time determining if it was my friend or my manager winking at me. This was not doing anything good for my headache.

"Keep your eyes open, and your mouth closed," she whispered as she walked by and headed out the door. Good gravey! She even sounded exactly like her! Oh my poor, aching head! I shortly wondered if this would go on all day. Then I could warn my parents I would be in the insane asyleum the next day.

I headed out of the break room and past the door to the manager's office. Before leaving the hallway cleverly marked 'Exit', I heard a knock and a muffled "Hello? Can anyone hear me?" Strange.

I started the journey across the store back to my department, trying to appear as cool as a cucumber. A cucumber who was ubducted from its safe, frigerated home and now sat in a rollercoaster of an amusment park.

And then I spotted her, drunk as a sailor and standing like one too-which is to say, hardly able to stand- talking to the district manager. She was waving her arms in the air, a stupid look on her face, trying to explain herself away as the District Manager just looked down at her dissaprovingly. It didn't take long for him to grab her by the arm, and quietly lead her out.

My computer geek co-walker walked up beside me. "Duude! Did you see that? Shauna was completly wasted and started arguing with the DM!"
I smiled to myself.

"I wonder how shes going to get out of this one," he said with some curioisity.

"Eh, definitly the gnat. That would be the most effective."

I ignored his crazed glare and some comment about me smoking something, and sighed. I didn't care, I knew in a few months things would get better for my boyfriend.

And my headache was gone, too.

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Warning: Contains mass amounts of cheese.

Tiamat10

Second time through, and I still love this story, Jax. Okay, I saw a few things that could be touched up but I was laughing to hard to copy/paste them down here.

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“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein." --Red Smith

Jax1108

hahaha I know I get so ansy I just couldn't get myself to read through it all again, that and my brain is half asleep - yes I know its lazy and I am sorry others will be doing my work for me
Oh and I can't stop laughing either....

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Warning: Contains mass amounts of cheese.

Ungood

Uhhh...

Ok I know I am missing something... it is cute... funny... and well written... enjoyable and easy to read... so...

Ummm... beyond the "Strange Surreal" factor of everything which made me wonder what exactly it was I was reading...

But that was the premise of your story and how it was supposed to go... so... It rocked.=D>

Ungood.

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Tiamat10

Wait, if it's cute, funny, well-written, enjoyable, and easy to read... what did you miss? I'm confused...

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“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein." --Red Smith

Sam Winchester

Tiamat, were you using those elipses to prove a point?

Ungood - you use an awful lot of elipses. Sorry.

Jax - It's a bit late. I'll read this tomorrow, I promise.

Sam.

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Tiamat10

The point being that a state of confusion is not at all unusual for me...? Or that I was trailing off...

I think both fit... Maybe...

Just whatcha got against ellipses, anyways?

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“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein." --Red Smith

Jax1108

So uh...it's been a while guys. Been overly busy at work so haven't been able to work on my next chapter to post. So here I am, shamlessly bumping my old thread.

Mostly to say "I am still here!"
I'll be trying to post more soon!

<3 Jax

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Warning: Contains mass amounts of cheese.

astralis

I think I know why Tiamat likes the story.

I think you lose the narrative after this sentence.
I had a hard time following it after that. I like the texture of the drunk store manager. But I'm having a hard time understanding how it all fits together.

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