OK, I thought someone might say that.
Below then, is page 1.
Missedville
(The Birth of a Democracy)
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Page 1 Missedville Recorder - Friday, February 15, 2021
MAYOR AND COUNCIL MEMBERS JAILED
Missedville, Friday, Feb 15. Mayor Howja Fleecem and two members of the Missedville Town Council were arrested yesterday and charged with bilking the community out of more than $2 million. Council members Constance (Connie) Softsell and Benjamin (Ben) Dover were booked along with the mayor for allegedly accepting cash and gifts in excess of $63,000 from contractors building the Missedville Grammar School. Surprisingly, Ima Liar was not charged even though the school is being erected in his district.
Council spokesperson U Tellem said, “We will not tolerate this abuse of the public trust. We will get to the bottom of this outrage. You can be sure the guilty will be severely punished.”
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City Attorney To Defend Miscreants
Missedville, Friday, Feb 15. City Attorney L. E. Gallity announced today that his office will defend the mayor and the council members from the malicious charges inspired by their political opponents. “Mayor Fleecem performed his duties in an exemplary manner and should be commended for his stalwart efforts on behalf of the community”, Gallity said. “He, along with Connie Softsell and Ben Dover, have been the targets of smear campaigns over the past several years. Their reputations have been besmirched. We must protect our public servants from these scandalous attacks by self-serving politicians.
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Missedville Recorder - Saturday, February 16, 2021
RALLY PLANNED
Public Infuriated By Mayor’s Malfeasance
Missedville, Saturday, Feb 16. A march on Town Hall is planned for 9:00 a.m., Monday, by community leaders outraged by the latest reports of fraud in the town government. It is reported that some citizens plan to demand a major change in the way the town is governed. Some are going so far as to demand that the town adopt a new constitution, even though there is no precedent for such an outrage against public order. No-one has any idea how such a constitution would be drafted, much less how it would be adopted and enforced.
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Town officials released on bail
Missedville, Saturday, Feb 16. Last night it was learned that beloved matriarch Tess Truehart, a well-known Missedville philanthropist, appeared at the town court to post bail for Mayor Howja Fleecem and council members Constance Softsell and Benjamin Dover. Ms. Truehart refused to speak to our reporter but it is well known that Ms. Truehart is a staunch defender of human rights. She has personally funded the local animal shelter and supports the soup kitchen at 53 Skid Row. She is always quick to help those in need.
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Earnings Report Scheduled
Missedville, Saturday, Feb 16. Hartless Construction Co., Inc. will report substantial profit gains before the market opens on Monday. Hartless, founded by the late Thompson (Tommy) Truehart, long a leading citizen of Missedville who was killed in a freak accident two years ago, engages in construction projects around the county and is a major employer of people from our area.
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