Symbiote Swarm -- help - Writers Forum

Just Jim · 04-12-2008, 09:49 AM

I am being tormented by a story that wants to be written. I feel that I've stolen it from somewhere, but I'm clueless.

The MC is a swarm, just like a flock of birds flying, perfectly synchronized. It is a single sentient being, and can communicate with humans. The "individuals" are not all identical, which will allow for multiple personalities.

This is just a fantasy; no horror, no entering the human, some special powers, just from the nature of being a symbiote.

Am I just copying something, or is it my imagination. I expect I'll have to write it anyway just to make it go away.

Thanks in advance for any ideas.

CodeRed · 04-12-2008, 10:01 AM

I'm curious about this idea already. To be honest, it seems somewhat familiar, yet I can't actually bring any particular reference to mind. (I just keep having these vague memories of the line "we are one", which may or may not have anything at all to do with your actual idea).

I'd say write it, either way. Even if the basic idea has been used before, I'm sure there's enough that you can do with it to make it unique.

lilacstarflower · 04-12-2008, 10:03 AM

Doesn't sound like anything I've read - I read a lot of sci-fi and horror

You'll probably get a better idea once you post the finished work - people will be able to tell you if it seems familiar.

Yeah, isn't it irritating when you have so much other stuff to work on but you just have to write out the new idea that hit you! lol

Good luck writing it!

Just Jim · 04-12-2008, 10:18 AM

Hey CodeRed,

"we are one" -- exactly. That's lurking in the back of my mind.

Lilac, I really don't need another story. I have that Damn "blade" thing, and the first 15 (count them 15) pages of a mystery.

This thing keeps saying "Yeah, but I'm easy." And I know it's a lie.

You're both right; I've got to write it. I've got about 800 words, just getting the MC introduced. Now comes the work.

Foxee · 04-12-2008, 01:02 PM

Sounds similar to Prey by Michael Crichton.

Ungood · 04-12-2008, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Jim

I am being tormented by a story that wants to be written. I feel that I've stolen it from somewhere, but I'm clueless.

The MC is a swarm, just like a flock of birds flying, perfectly synchronized. It is a single sentient being, and can communicate with humans. The "individuals" are not all identical, which will allow for multiple personalities.

This is just a fantasy; no horror, no entering the human, some special powers, just from the nature of being a symbiote.

Am I just copying something, or is it my imagination. I expect I'll have to write it anyway just to make it go away.

Thanks in advance for any ideas.

The Hive Mentality (IE: Hive Mind Theme) is very common, it has been used in stories, books, comic books, and in Games.

Examples include: The Matrix (The robot inter link), Borg from Star Trek, I robot (the uplink com), Mindflayers in D&D (Frogotten Realms - R.A. Salvatore touches on it in his book - Home world (i think))

The Use of a Hive mind in Warhammer 40,000 Tyranids uses the Hive Mind, and a slew of other examples.

I believe the Doctor Strange Animated Movie has this called the "Wing Mark"... nifty little creature and you might want to look into that one to see if that is what you were thinking of... what it is, is basically a single "Monster" made up of thousands of these small "Flying Manta ray like bird things".

So yes... you are "Using an existing idea" as in it is not "unique"... but it is not by a far cry a copyrighted idea as many authors, game designers and movie makers have used it in various forms and in many ways, as long as you refrain from using key buzzwords like "Hive Mind", "We are one" and things like that... you're set.. Universal Mind, Linked Psyche, Universal Conscious, and the like are still open to be used.

Hope this helps.

Ungood

Just Jim · 04-13-2008, 12:41 PM

Foxee, I haven't read "Prey" but I know of it. That may be what I have in mind.

Ungood, thanks for all the suggestions. I'll check the doctor strange link.

I plan to finish it, and then you can all tell me what is too close to something already out there.

Ungood · 04-13-2008, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Jim

Foxee, I haven't read "Prey" but I know of it. That may be what I have in mind.

"Prey" by Michel Cheriton is about Nano-Tech evolving because of a fluke in an adaptable program called "prey"

I do not think that is what you are dealing with at all..at least that is not anything like you expressed...

Quote:

Ungood, thanks for all the suggestions. I'll check the doctor strange link.

I plan to finish it, and then you can all tell me what is too close to something already out there.

Sounds Fair... or give us a prologue and we can work from there...

Ungood.

Just Jim · 04-13-2008, 01:40 PM

This is the opening of the Swarm story. I've only written a little beyond this, and I haven't worked it at all. I'm just looking for a sense that it isn't totally redundant.

Swarm

It was a cloudy dreary day, just a little breeze tickling the tips of tree branches. Dull and boring; nothing to hint at what was to come. Charlie sat out on his covered porch, feeling the cool breeze and thinking not much at all.

He noticed, or maybe just sensed, off to is left, a ball coming in his direction. As he turned, he recognized it as a swarm. Against the gray sky, it was hard to tell if they were bees fifty feet away or birds at several hundred feet. He stood up to watch them more closely.

As they flew, Charlie wondered how they could move as a single body and maintain such an efficient shape. They came close to the porch and made a sudden turn left and up, disappearing above the porch roof, then came back into sight, approaching from the right. They were close enough this time for him to see individuals. They were tiny, less than two inches long, but had the aerodynamic wings of a bird, angled and tapered like a swallow.

As the swarm reached the center of the porch, not more than fifty feet in front of him, they began turning in a tight circle; a black, vibrating ball appearing to stand still in space. Charlie felt a vibration in his body that seemed to match the oscillating frequency of the swarm.

One “bird” broke away from the swarm and moved closer. Others came forward, forming a cone from the swarm to the leader. As the leader got very close, Charlie could see its details. The wings were bird wings and appeared to have feathers, though it was hard to be sure on such a small body. The color was like an oil slick, dark, with blues, greens, and even flashes of red. The eyes were insect eyes, protruding from the top of the head. It had a snout, and as it got very close, it appeared to have a short beak. This was nothing he had ever seen, or that even approached the idea of a known earth species.

The bird flew back and forth in front of Charlie, moving at angles, examining him from all sides. Then it flew directly to his head, and hovered like a hummingbird, just an inch from his ear. The cone of birds seemed to connect it to the swarm. The bird moved forward and put its head close to Charlie’s ear. He heard, or perhaps only felt, a voice.

“Relax. We just want to visit. I don’t know how this is happening either, but I could hear you wondering what I am”

It backed away and moved to where Charlie could see it, them moved back to his ear.

“You seem to be a cross between a bug and a bird. What are you?”

“I am called Swarm.”

“How many are you? I mean, in this group,” he asked.

“This isn’t a group. This is me.”

“But I can see that you are separate beings.”

Swarm moved around in front of his face, about five inches from him. She studied his eyes, mouth, and nose.

“Oh, I see. Yes I have separate bodies. There are also other Swarm, that are separate beings.”

His wife, Marsha, came out of the house. Charlie said “You see, this is Marsha, and she is a different being from me. We are two humans.”

Marsha looked at the swarm, and then at Charlie.

“Charlie, What is this?” What are you talking to?”

“Marsha, this is Swarm. I don’t know how, but we’re talking.”

Another cone formed from the swarm, and moved toward Marsha. She started to move away, but Charlie motioned her to stand still. One of the bodies came forward, and moved close to Marsha. This one had a distinctly cat-like appearance, although it had wings. Its body was striped in green and white. It had short appendages like hands in front.

“Hello Marsha. I will not hurt you. May I come close.”

Marsha started to step away, but her curiosity overwhelmed her fear. Charlie did not speak, but she could feel him saying it was OK. She looked at him, and saw his smile.

“Yes Swarm, please come closer.”

“Thank you. I can see you have a question.”

“Yes I do. How is it that no one has heard of you before?” she asked.

“Many years ago, people knew of Swarm. But then people saw flocks of birds or groups of bees and called the swarm. They forgot that there is a being called Swarm. People still see us, but they don’t pay attention.”

“Then you’re a natural earth creature?” she asked.

“We prefer the word ‘being’, rather than ‘creature’, but if you’re wondering if we are some sort of alien, no we aren’t.”

“Yes, that is what I meant.”

The swarm backed away from her a little, and then the other cone moved closer to Charlie.

“We came to you for a reason. Is it possible you would be willing to help us?”

Ungood · 04-13-2008, 01:56 PM

I am not going to Critique your Work as a Story but only going to focus on the concept of what you have put down , Ok?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Jim

This is the opening of the Swarm story. I've only written a little beyond this, and I haven't worked it at all. I'm just looking for a sense that it isn't totally redundant.

Swarm

It was a cloudy dreary day, just a little breeze tickling the tips of tree branches. Dull and boring; nothing to hint at what was to come. Charlie sat out on his covered porch, feeling the cool breeze and thinking not much at all.

He noticed, or maybe just sensed, off to is left, a ball coming in his direction. As he turned, he recognized it as a swarm. Against the gray sky, it was hard to tell if they were bees fifty feet away or birds at several hundred feet. He stood up to watch them more closely.

As they flew, Charlie wondered how they could move as a single body and maintain such an efficient shape. They came close to the porch and made a sudden turn left and up, disappearing above the porch roof, then came back into sight, approaching from the right. They were close enough this time for him to see individuals. They were tiny, less than two inches long, but had the aerodynamic wings of a bird, angled and tapered like a swallow.

As the swarm reached the center of the porch, not more than fifty feet in front of him, they began turning in a tight circle; a black, vibrating ball appearing to stand still in space. Charlie felt a vibration in his body that seemed to match the oscillating frequency of the swarm.

One “bird” broke away from the swarm and moved closer. Others came forward, forming a cone from the swarm to the leader. As the leader got very close, Charlie could see its details. The wings were bird wings and appeared to have feathers, though it was hard to be sure on such a small body. The color was like an oil slick, dark, with blues, greens, and even flashes of red. The eyes were insect eyes, protruding from the top of the head. It had a snout, and as it got very close, it appeared to have a short beak. This was nothing he had ever seen, or that even approached the idea of a known earth species.

The bird flew back and forth in front of Charlie, moving at angles, examining him from all sides. Then it flew directly to his head, and hovered like a hummingbird, just an inch from his ear. The cone of birds seemed to connect it to the swarm. The bird moved forward and put its head close to Charlie’s ear. He heard, or perhaps only felt, a voice.

This is vaguely like many other "Hive" stories I have read... save for the fact that they have come in peace.

Now, what they look like.. I do not recall anything that looks like what you have put out... and that is good.

The fact that you have both "Individual" mentality and group mentality is also good... makes it uncommon, not unique by any standard, but uncommon to say the least.

The real cut here is that you have these 'beings' made up of multiple 'bodies' but you also have separate 'beings' the entire species is not one being... one unified race. That is a nice touch.

I am getting images of people that could "Decompile" going from a single solid state person into a group or hive of smaller (Mainly Inspects) body parts ... like in the mummy where they evil guy (Can't recall his name) seems to melt into a pile of scarabs.

You have something like that... good touch... I think this could be quite the story... all in all... I do not see any plagiarizing as it stands and I would say go for this...

Ungood.

Just Jim · 04-13-2008, 02:11 PM

Damn .... No excuse for me to quit this one, huh ?

Seriously, ungood, thanks for the comments. I hadn't considered the "uncompile" idea, but I think it could help me in spots.

Back to work.

babeonownbike · 04-15-2008, 11:52 AM

I remember those scarabs - they're from The Mummy and Return of the Mummy.
This isn't a genre I read a lot of, but the way you're approaching it seems original enough to invalidate any excuses you may have been concocting. It seems you must write it! I like it so far.

One typo in the second paragraph - the first occurence of "his" is cockney (no "h").