Nataanii

Ok, so I did my synopsis...now I have to get together my query. What do you all think of this:

Dear Agent,
"William Matthews never knew pure evil---until he met Isabella."

In Bloody Roses, William Matthews, his wife Jennifer and two children, Mallory and Daria have a near perfect life--until the day Jennifer is killed in a car crash. As William grieves, he finds comfort in Isabella, Jennifer's estranged and unkown to him---psychotic sister.

William gradually develops an unwanted attraction to her, however when he wants to cut ties with her in guilt, he finds the real meaning behind evil when her psychotic instincts kick in and she starts terrorizing his family.

As William fights back against Isabella, he becomes entangled in a world of murder and mayhem.



(That's where I stopped at because I don't know how
to finish it with a bio of my previous writing experience---when I don't have any. So since I don't any previous writing experience, should I leave the bio part out or--what? lol)

WriterJohnB

Okay, here's the harsh guy again. Of course, you will get the agent's name and plug that in. You use -- 3 times, I'm assuming to add suspense. Might work once, but not 3 times. Same thing, prune to the bones; I'm repeating myself, I know.

As to the bio, yes, leave it out. But maybe you have other experience: writers' workshop, college degree, that might apply.

Maybe you could surprise the agent with something original. Like starting with the ending. "In retrospect, after dealing with his dead wife's pscyhotic sister, William Mathews, would have prefered coming on a rabid dog. It all started when. . .

Google "How to write a query letter" and "How to write a synopsis." You'll find a plethora of advice.

Take care and good luck,

JohnB

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