dominic_james

Honestly, I have always wanted to write creatively, but I just don't out of laziness. This is truly a rookie attempt and I want to hear it straight whether this is engaging at all...nothing that is said will discourage me from writing again, I am just wondering.

"When Michael walked into the room, he stopped, drew a sharp breath, and waited for his girlfriend to turn the TV off. You know what? The only reason that I am putting up with you is because you are pregnant. Her harsh words thoroughly surprised Michael. He wondered when it was that she found out about his pregnancy. After all, he had only found out two days ago when he missed his period. When he found out, he was elated, simply because it meant that she would be forced to marry him. She, however, showed no intention of doing so and simply continued to mistreat him, using him strictly for sex and cooking.
Every night Michael cried. This was no way for a man to be living his life. He went to school, he had aspirations. Just because men are supposed to be subordinate doesn’t mean that they should. Men have just as much right to rip women off as they do men!"

Sam Winchester

Aside from the fact that it's about a man being pregnant, there's a little problem of everything on that page being speech. You started off with this " and finished with it as well, which means that a person is speaking, when in fact 'When Michael walked...' isn't speech at all. That needs fixing. To be honest, the entire thing just creeped me out, and for that reason, I wouldn't read on.

To answer your question: it's mildly interesting, in an odd sort of way.

Sam.

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WriterJohnB

Just reversing the sexual roles is not interesting in and of itself. It's a writer's job to make "anything" interesting. You shot the whole wad at once, so what more will there be to learn about the characters? I would not be interested in reading a piece that started out this way.

JohnB

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http://www.johnbushore.com

shraga

I have to agree with JohnB for me you might as well be writing about a girl who got pregnant changing he to she is not really interesting. If you were to build up the story so that at the end we would be surprised that he was pregnant instead of her maybe it would be diffrent.
But let your creative juices flow, this is you first attempt.
Good Luck!

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Shraga Y. Weissmann
Israel
Pease critique my humor for Chompers (744 words)

booker41

Interesting? Disturbing and weird more like lol.

Wadatrip

Turn the roles and you have nothing new. Therefore, no, it's not interesting.