Kye

Deadly Determination is what I made of the second bit of writing that I posted on the Writer's Workshop board. The title is not for sure yet, because I, honestly, am not 100% sure of the plot. I just began to write down some random stuff =D This is my first draft, so it may seem a little confusing. I am posting my first chapter (yes, it's amazingly short, please forgive me. I'll make them longer on my second draft), and a very bit of my second. Please critique!

Chapter One – Frightened

In my life, I had never stood in front of anyone I was so afraid of. “Y-y-yes,” I stammered, though I had nothing to reply yes to. The tall, thin man looked back at me with gleaming grey eyes, and I suddenly decided I should keep my mouth shut.
“You have failed to follow my instructions! But no matter – I’ll find something worse for you to do.” I gulped, looking down from the six-foot man. “Or would you rather me kill you on the spot?” And at that point, I didn’t know the answer.

The man backed away, though powerfully, not like a mouse darting away from a lion. He sat in a high chair, made of fine oak and red velvet. Although he was now shorter then me (just barley), I still felt a chill run through my spine when he gestured for an angry looking guard to come forward. “Noah, send this boy where I have planned. Do not say anything until you arrive, at which point you will repeat my instructions.” The guard nodded, and took me fiercely by the sleeve.
“You can trust me, sir.” He could, but could I?

Without another word, I felt myself being dragged towards the door. It did not hurt, exactly, though frightened me just the same. I was led through a long, brick corridor, a torch placed every foot or so. There were fifty-seven before I stopped, and simply closed my eyes, moving my feet just gently, waiting for the corridor to end. “Wake up, kid.” I would usually retort. I’ve been living for eighteen years, thank you very much. But I said nothing, only opened my green eyes.

I had not been at the back of Jayson castle before. In fact, I had never seen the outside of the castle with my own eyes – only with other’s. “Get in,” the man said briskly, pushing me in well he spoke.
“A simple please could be in order,” I muttered under my breath, stepping into the large cart. The guard sniffed matter-of-factly, then stepped into the passenger seat. I could almost see his stiff face in front of me as he entered the white transporting device.

The two front seat riders muttered momentarily, before the driver said something in Rogan, and set off. We were up one hundred feet in madder of seconds. The unicorns must be good today – they usually fly a mile an hour. I felt a cool breeze fly through my brown hair, although short. Clouds fluttered by, and I guessed we were atleast five hundred or so feet in the air. Noah was talking quietly to the driver, and I heard a few whispers coming from the back seat, also. Turning a pair of green eyes to seem the other riders, I noticed the clouds disappearing. At first, I thought we were going higher, but then we stopped.

“Get out!” Friendly.
“Why don’t you?” I bounced out of the seat, cursing myself for not holding my tongue. The man looked at me darkly, but did nothing. Trees surrounded us, and I could hear the calls of nymphs through the foliage. We must have landed in a clearing. I dare not move from my small patch of grass, though I kneeled down, putting a hand out for a Tinit. The small, rat-looking creature scampered onto my hands, and I considered throwing it at Noah.

Noah looked at me, as though trying to build momentum to what he was about to say. “You are now on Eagler Mountain, home of the cave nymphs.” His eyes were completely blank – no emotion what so ever. “Your job? To live. See you!” And with that, Noah jumped into the cart, and flew away. So much for instructions.

Chapter Two – Bewildered

As soon as Noah left, I knew he had not told me something. And I had a feeling it was not because he was trying to be nice. Grumbling, I stood up, the Tinit still in my hands. “What should I do, little guy?” I asked curiously. And to my surprise, I was answered.
“I’m not that little.” A figure stepped out from the side of the forest. I had not seen him before, though he looked similar just the same. The man had long, stringy black hair, and green eyes. I noticed at once that he was covered from head to toe with dirt, and, without surprise, stood at only about five feet.

__________________