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Old 11-04-2007, 11:52 AM   #1
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To Set The Wrong Things Right

First of all, yes, this is inspired by The Crow, or more precise, on the simple line "Sometimes... just sometimes...a crow can bring the soul back to set the wrong things right" from the movie. So it's not directly inspired by The Crow, only by the concept. Either way, here's the intro. Hope you like it. It might be a bit violent, but right now I want to write something different and more "me" than I've done lately. And again, while inspired by the Crow, it's mainly the "zombie on revenge" part that's the same. There's no crow, raven, falcon, dove or any other bird or animal anywhere to be seen.

**

Sarah felt the bullet hit her in the neck, but it strangely didn't hurt as much as she expected it to. The next one hit her in the chest, and the third one in her left shoulder. Her knees started shaking, and she wondered how she could still say up. A fourth bullet hit her somewhere in the stomach area, or was it the fifth? Sixth? It was hard to say. Her eyes blurred, and the world started spinning. The asphalt was quite cold due to the rain, and hurt her head. Why didn't it hurt? She tried to see who had shot her, but all she could make out was a few shades that might have been one person, and might be several.
"Good bye, bitch," a voice said. Strong hands rolled her over on her back, and she saw a playing card of all things being laid on her forhead. Queen of Diamonds. Funny, like in the song. She certainly beat Sarah.
Something hit her in the head, and Sarah felt her body jump a bit. Her body went limp, and she felt the world fade away.

Cold. Sarah felt she froze and tried to pull a blanket over herself. Nothing. What was going on? This wasn't her bed, this was.. oh God. Oh, my God...
It was a very small room, made from wood, dark as it gets and the air smelled like it had been stuck in there for ages.
"You've gotta be kidding me..." Sarah said and felt she started to panic. Unless this was a sick joke... Had she been....
"Buried alive," she said to herself and tried to remember what had happened. The last thing she remembered was.. was... nothing much. There was something about being in court and barely avoiding the chair. Had she... did she... No, she couldn't believe it. Had she been sent to the chair? No, no chair. Bullets. Someone had shot her. Somehow she had survived, yet someone had buried her. Did they think she was dead? She was alive! She tried screaming, but no one came. Naturally, this was six feet under solid earth at least. More, if the killer was sadistic enough. But why her? Why now? She had been on trail for something, that much she remembered. But why? And what had that to do with being shot and buried alive?
That could wait. First of all, she had to get out of here - fast. The air was running out, and according to her knowledge, she was six feet under solid earth.

(note: I'm working on how exactly she breaks out of her coffin, so let's skip ahead a bit)

Sarah's clothes were torn, yet she wasn't wounded. A small scar here and there after having been shot, but that's about it. It was to be expected, really.
"What's this?" She thought and looked at her left arm. A tattoo of a snake coiling around a sword was tattooed on her shoulder, yet she didn't remember it. That could wait. First things first. Clothes.
Sarah tried to remember where she lived, but came up empty. Beverly Hills was an idea, but not likely. LA? Maybe, but she didn't feel too drawn to that place.
"Sarah..," a voice said behind her, and she turned. A guy was standing with a gun in one hand and a sword in the other. He was about her height, her body size and wore a black dress with a black leather coat. This should could enjoy.
"Richard," she said with a smile and walked towards him.
"Sarah... you..." Richard said, and although heavily armed, Sarah could see he most of all wanted to run away if his feet had paid attenion to his brain.
"Richard," Sarah said again, and her smile turned to a grin. "Just the man I wanted to see."
"You... are dead! I saw your body!"
"So it seems," Sarah said. "And now, I'm attending yours."
She quickly dodged forward and grabbed the gun from his hand. One quick twist later, and she pointed he gun at his face.
"Give me a name," She said and slowly pulled the trigger. Richard finally got to his sense and raised his sword in a combat stance.
"You are dead," he said. "You should have stayed that way."
"Name," Sarah quickly lowered the gun towards his groing and pulled the trigger. "Who is the Queen of Diamonds?"
"AAahhhh..." Richard said and dropped to the ground holding his hands in front of the groin.
"Queen of Diamonds," Sarah said and shot Richard in a knee. "Tell me a name, and I will kill you quickly."
"I... don't..." Richard started, but the third bullet finally loosened his voice. "Warehouse at 12th street. That's all I know. Please... Sarah, don't..."
Sarah aimed the gun at his head and pulled the trigger, but the gun jammed. Richard managed a smile of relief, but Sarah picked up the sword instead.
"Coat. Now." Richard looked puzzled at her, but decided it was best to do what she asked. Once dressed, Sarah slashed the sword at Richard and caused a serious wound. Richard passed out from the pain, but Sarah simply stabbed him twice more to make sure he was dead.
"Now this I like," she said and studied the sword. She wiped it clean on Richard's clothes before she strapped the sheat onto herself and put the sword away on her back.
"If I could only remember who I am..."
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Last edited by WriterDude : 11-04-2007 at 12:18 PM. Reason: The damn laptop keeps posting on it's own! Anyone want a laptop? :(
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Old 11-04-2007, 01:34 PM   #2
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Be careful you don't make it sound melodramatic or unrealistic with plausible explanations for how she could survive a barrage of bullets and then escape from a buried grave.
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Old 11-04-2007, 02:08 PM   #3
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That's the Crow-part. How she survived? She didn't...

Alright, for a better explanation, read the signature. People believed a crow carries the soul to the land of the dead, but sometimes the soul can't get any rest. Sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring the soul back to the world of the living to set the wrong things right.

Sarah was killed, yes, but as we all know, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn. Sarah was pregnant and recently engaged, and now she lost everything including her life simply because she was a hitman for a crime lord, and when she got pregnant, said crime lord started doubting her loyalty. This can be a dangerous thing for everyone, so Sarah was killed.

That didn't end things, but only made her angry. That's why she killed Richard and asked about the Queen of Diamonds. It's the only thing she remember about her killed, so most of the book evolve around tracking down the killer and finding her revenge. But is it that simple? Not at all. There is far more too it than that, like who the crime lord is, the true reason why she was killed and things like that. I recommend you watch The Crow first to understand this better. It's a brilliant movie and even better comic book. (for adults, of course). This is loosely based on The Crow: Flesh & Blood, with the female crow and all that. But again, only the "returning from the grave to get revenge" and perhaps the "Sometimes, just sometimes..." part of the legend is the same. In the comic books and movie, the crow stays with the dead person and give him or her immortality, but in this story, it's not so literal. Sure it can be a crow that brings the soul back and forth, but that's the only connection with real crows. Sarah's more or less immortal since she's already dead, but other than that, she's just Sarah. A scorn woman with hellfire in her eyes and revenge on her mind. So to say.
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Old 11-04-2007, 06:58 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WriterDude View Post
In the comic books and movie, the crow stays with the dead person and give him or her immortality, but in this story, it's not so literal.
Actually, the whole basis of the graphic novel is for the reader to determine if Draven was really brought back from the dead or if he is just crazy and talks to a Crow. The ending in particular where Draven shoots himself up with Morphine in order to last during the final shoot-out leaves you wondering. Really great book, and a huge mind fuck.

With that being said, I don't think anybody is going to read this without thinking "The Crow," and it loses its impact because of it. Sure, you have no Crow, but replace said Whale with a Kangaroo and you've still got "Moby Dick."
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Old 11-05-2007, 09:38 AM   #5
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If I write a novel about zombies, everyone will compare it to Night Of The Living Dead or Resident Evil, depending on your age.

If I write a novel about a superhero using the shadows to his or her advantage, it'll be compared to Batman.

If I write a story about an archeologist searching for an artifact and constantly avoiding traps, it'll be compared to Indiana Jones.

In the end, all ideas are already taken. This isn't The Crow, will not be anything like The Crow and isn't even based on The Crow. If you still want to compare it to The Crow, go ahead. It's inspired by it, yes, but only in a slight way.

Oh, and I haven't had the chance to read The Crow yet. Thanks for spoiling it.
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