By the ways - some help - Writers Forum

eyezero · 10-22-2007, 06:51 AM

Hi,

In writing my first book, I come up against more than a few obstacles. Mostly these revolve around grammar (spelling gets sorted by the wonder of spell check!!!!) I am certain in myself that i can write and write a good story, it will be for others to decide how well..... but grammar gets me! My main issue is with the 'by the ways'. Reading many books it seems unclear which way to go, or which is the right way if any. Example 1. What’s left of Harriett’s body lies on the cold steel of an autopsy table. A woman – looks around thirty with a tight blond bob, - photographs various parts of her paying particular attention to the black......... Example 2. What’s left of Harriett’s body lies on the cold steel of an autopsy table. A woman (looks around thirty, with a tight blond bob,) photographs various parts of her paying particular attention to the black.........

My question. Which is correct, example 1 or 2 or neither? This problem is driving me insane!

WriterJohnB · 10-22-2007, 07:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eyezero

Hi,

Example 1. What’s left of Harriett’s body lies on the cold steel of an autopsy table. A woman – looks around thirty with a tight blond bob, - photographs various parts of her, paying particular attention to the black......... Example 2. What’s left of Harriett’s body lies on the cold steel of an autopsy table. A woman (looks around thirty, with a tight blond bob,) photographs various parts of her, paying particular attention to the black.........

My question. Which is correct, example 1 or 2 or neither? This problem is driving me insane!

I've never gotten a clear picture of this, either. I prefer the m-dashes, which seems a bit less formal and distances the writer from the scene. I never use parentheses, which seem to be more expository and "non-fiction." You do need a comma in the second sentence, though, either way.

Hope that helps some,

JohnB

Hope that helps.

Erik Buchanan · 10-22-2007, 07:39 AM

I think both are acceptable, but m-dashes tend to improve the flow. Because of the visual positioning of a parenthesis - it looks like a wall - it acts as a stop, while an m-dash keeps the flow moving forward. It depends which on you want.

(That above is from my editor, who knows far more about these things than I do).

By the way, the best book on Grammar is Strunk & White's The Elements of Style. Get a copy. I have one and it's a very handy little reference book.

JosephB · 10-22-2007, 08:13 AM

I love the magical, wonderful em dash. Excellent for pauses and emphasis in dialog as well. Like anything especially tasty -- best in smaller doses. I get carried away with them at times.

Quote:

What’s left of Harriett’s body lies on the cold steel of an autopsy table. A woman – (who ?) looks around thirty with a tight blond bob, - photographs various parts of her, paying particular attention to the black

FYI -- a bob is a short haircut, so I'm not sure if it can be tight -- ponytail maybe?

The question that remains open to me is a definitive answer on spaces before and after the em dash. I've seen it both ways in print. Should get The Elements of Style and check that out. Everyone needs a copy of it anyway. Also in older printings of books — Fitzgerald for example — they use dashes — where you would expect an em dash — that are about three feet long. Always wondered about that.

eyezero · 10-22-2007, 09:01 AM

Thanks. All very useful advise. Confirms what i was hoping for as i don't like the ( ) 's! As writerjohnb says, - photographs various parts of her, paying particular attention to the black......... a comma is needed here, which was there but i took out for some reason when i posted this thinking it didn't seems right. I'm not sure about the tight bob thing, - josephb FYI -- a bob is a short haircut, so I'm not sure if it can be tight -- ponytail maybe? How it's meant is tight to the face - hugging if you like. Perhaps at bit more explanation????