process of rewriting "Some Like it Hot" - Writers Forum

cooldudemanus · 10-14-2007, 09:07 PM

Here is the orginal paragraph and here is the same one rewriten to flow bet

One of the reasons "Some Like it Hot" is on AFI's top movie list is the fact that it was directed by a successful director. In order to make "Some Like it Hot," Wilder used a method that was uncommon in the filming era of "Some Like it Hot."Wilder tried to avoid making real flashy scenes or scenes that called too much attention to themselves in "Some Like it Hot." He felt that it would distract the audience from the main story line. "Some Like it Hot" has no flashy scenes at all,keeping the audience more focused on the story rather then individual scenes. Therefore, "Some Like it Hot" can be thought of as more memorable for it's story or concept rather then a particular scene. In addition, Wilder was very good at working with actors. Therefore, The fact that John Lemmon, Tony Curtis, and Marilyn Monroe cooperated with him helped with the acting quality in "Some Like it Hot."

revised
Some like it hot is on AFI''s top movie list because of the movies director, Billy Wilder. In order to make "Some Like it Hot" a good movie, Wilder made scenes less flashy in order to for people to focus more on the overall movie rather then each individual scene. In other words, Wilder felt that a movies story was more important then fancy eye-candy.
In addition,Wilder had a way with working with actors.Therefore, actors were more coorapative with him,making a better quality movie. ter

sdavis2k · 10-15-2007, 03:07 AM

I like the revised version better. Only thing I would change would be the last line. Your final two lines seem like they should be summed up into one. The caliber of actors mentioned were superstars or future superstars of their day, and need to be specifically named. I do like how you didn't repeat the title almost ten times like the original paragraph.

A suggestion for the final line(s).
Additionally, Wilder was able to work in cooperation with John Lemmon, Tony Curtis, and Marilyn Monroe, making their individual performances more impressive.

Mike C · 10-15-2007, 05:01 AM

The revised version is better, but surely the film worked because it was well directed, not specifically because wilder directed it?

Mr Sci Fi · 10-15-2007, 07:08 PM

It's Jack Lemmon, not John Lemmon. You might want to correct that for your revision.

9937 · 10-17-2007, 05:10 PM

The revised version is definitely better, but there are still a few grammatical errors. In the first sentence, "Some Like it Hot" isn't punctuated as a title. AFI"s should be AFI's, and movies should be movie's. Also, you misspelled cooperative in the last sentence.

snorrie · 10-17-2007, 06:33 PM

The second is light years better, but still, it be revised. Keep refining.