thestlos

Hello, I'm thestlos. I am 17 years old and I wrote this short essay for my AP English class in high school. Please offer an advise, suggestions, critiques, etc. Please note, the grammar might not be perfect but please let me know so I can fix it. As I said before, It is about the element of fate in Oedipus Rex.

Dodging Closer to Fate
Which is the true narrator of Oedipus Rex’s life: fate or freewill? In Sophocles’ play, Oedipus Rex, a play set in Thebes around 400 B.C., Oedipus, king of Thebes, searches for the previous king’s murderer in order to bring an end to a plague upon his city. Oedipus’ life is dictated by fate. Fate makes its presence known through the Oracle’s foreknowledge, the Thebans’ foolishness, and Teiresias’ clairvoyance.

The reader can perceive a presence of fate through the Oracle’s foreknowledge. After Oedipus was abandoned at Mount Cithaeron, he was adopted by the King of Corinth. As Oedipus matures, he begins to doubt his parentage, and inquires of the Oracle and learns of his fateful role as the killer of his biological father and the husband of his biological mother. Suppose Oedipus had never heard of this prophecy. He would have never fled from his thought-to-be father, King Polybus of Corinth, and would have never married his real mother, Queen Jocasta. The Oracle is the springboard to Oedipus’ tragic fate.

The foolish Thebans also play a role in helping ensure that Oedipus meets his fateful destiny. What are the qualifications for being the man of greatest importance of a city, the sovereign king of Thebes? Surely, one must be competent, loyal, wise, and courageous if he wants to even be considered to be a king of an effective, fruitful kingdom. Apparently, the Thebans have other qualities in mind for a person of such stature, such as: someone not even from the city and someone who can solve petty riddles. Because of the Theban’s foolish methods for choosing kings, Oedipus becomes king and marries his biological mother, which ensures his fate and his eventual downfall.

Another element of the play that proves that Oedipus’ life was dictated by fate is Teiresias' clairvoyance. Teiresias deserves the credit for planting the proverbial “seed” into Oedipus’ mind that the prophecy might actually be true. Without seed, vegetation cannot spread and flourish. The same is true with the proverbial “seed” planted into Oedipus’ mind. If Teiresias had not known already known the cause of the plague upon Thebes and not told Oedipus of his tragic fate, Oedipus may not have ever figured this riddle out by himself.

Oedipus’ life is dictated by fate. The Oracle’s foreknowledge and prophecy set the initial chain in the play’s chain of events into motion. The foolish Thebans help further this chain of events by electing Oedipus as king. Teiresias plants the seed into Oedipus’ mind of his true destiny. One thing that can be learned from Oedipus Rex is that while trying to change one’s fate, one may inadvertently draws him/herself closer to that fate.

morc44u

Here is a proof-read.

Which is the true narrator of Oedipus Rex’s life: fate or freewill?
In Sophocles’ play, Oedipus Rex, a play set in Thebes around 400 B.C., Oedipus, king of Thebes, searches for the previous king’s murderer in order to bring an end to a plague upon his city.
Oedipus’ life is dictated by fate. Fate makes its presence known through the Oracle’s foreknowledge, the Thebans’ foolishness, and Teiresias’ clairvoyance.

--This seems a little out of place in your introduction. It breaks the connection between the introductory sentence of the essay and your thesis statement. I think it would read better like this:

What is the true narrator of Oedipus Rex’s life in the play of the same title written by Sophocles: fate or freewill? Oedipus’ life is dictated by fate. Fate makes its presence known through the Oracle’s foreknowledge, the Thebans’ foolishness, and Teiresias’ clairvoyance.

The reader can perceive a presence of fate through the Oracle’s foreknowledge. After Oedipus was abandoned at Mount Cithaeron, he was adopted by the King of Corinth. As Oedipus matures, he begins to doubt his parentage, and inquires of the Oracle and learns of his fateful role as the killer of his biological father and the husband of his biological mother. Suppose Oedipus had never heard of this prophecy. He would have never fled from his thought-to-be father, King Polybus of Corinth, and would have never married his real mother, Queen Jocasta. The Oracle is the springboard to Oedipus’ tragic fate.

The foolish Thebans also play a role in helping ensure that Oedipus meets his fateful destiny.
Add a sentence here that connects this sentence (The foolish Thebans) to this one (What are the qualifications). These two sentences seem to refer to different topics. Here is one possibility

The foolish Thebans also play a role in helping ensure that Oedipus meets his fateful destiny by appointing him as king. What were the qualities for being the man in charge of the city, the sovereign king of Thebes, that the citizens were looking for? Surely…


What are the qualifications for being the man in charge of the city, the sovereign king of Thebes? Surely, one must be competent, loyal, wise, and courageous if he wants to even be considered to be a king of an effective, fruitful kingdom. Apparently, the Thebans have other qualities in mind for a person of such stature, such as: someone not even from the city and someone who can solve petty riddles. Because of the Theban’s foolish methods for choosing kings, Oedipus becomes king and marries his biological mother, which ensures his fate and his eventual downfall.

Another element of the play that proves that Oedipus’ life was dictated by fate is Teiresias' clairvoyance. Teiresias deserves the credit for planting the proverbial “seed” into Oedipus’ mind that the prophecy might actually be true. Without seed, vegetation cannot spread and flourish. The same is true with the proverbial “seed” planted into Oedipus’ mind. If Teiresias had not known already known the cause of the plague upon Thebes and not told Oedipus of his tragic fate, Oedipus may not have ever figured this riddle out by himself.

Oedipus’ life is dictated by fate. The Oracle’s foreknowledge and prophecy set the initial chain in the play’s chain of events into motion. The foolish Thebans help further this chain of events by electing (kings are elected?) Oedipus as king. Teiresias plants the seed into Oedipus’ mind of his true destiny. One thing that can be learned from Oedipus Rex is that while trying to change one’s fate, one may inadvertently draw one’s self closer to that fate.

In the first sentence of this piece, you make the reader think that this essay will debate the question “what controlled Oedipus’ life, fate or freewill?” You could reinforce your ideas by writing a counter argument that shows free will was not involved.

You are not wrong in your interpretation of this text, but I interpret it in a different way. I believe that free will and pride lead to Oedipus’ downfall. If you are interested, I will right a short essay on this and post it here tomorrow (it’s bedtime now). Sometimes seeing the other side of an argument can help you to strengthen your own side.

biggles

Please don't write an essay FOR him!
I think your conjecture is fine but you must back it up with examples not only from the play but from research reading you have done. You can make your argument so much stronger that way.
Give solid examples and I think you will then have offer much more substance.

thestlos

Thanks for all the help so far.

In the first paragraph, my teacher says there must be a "book report" sentence. This sentence MUST emcompass The work, author, genre, time period, and a summary. If this sentence is absent, then I will lose points.


Also, the introduction must follow this:


1. Opening (We get 12 different types of openings to choose from. I used a reflexive question.)
2. Book Report sentence
3. Thesis
4. Major points




The reason why I have a weak opening is because I forgot the 12 types of openings that we are allowed to use, so I had to pick from the few that I remember. Maybe you could point me in the right direction of a better opening because I don't really get what you mean.


Biggles: I think that additional research is not allowed because I think the reason my teacher assigned this essay in order to test the students' understanding of the material.

biggles

Teachers LOVE research, what are you talking about? Stop trying to get the best mark and immerse yourself in the text which includes research.
In the meantime, you might actually learn something by reading other's critiques.

and morc- you are not helping by doing work for him. Plus your observations could be way off track. If he uses your suggestions he'll have to include it as" i got this last bit from a writing forum" lol