Johnna

Thanks for the input, Biggles. You can leave now.

__________________

biggles

Thank you for repeating it back - does something sink in?

biggles

You need to hear what potential readers will think.

blodren

The only thing that sinks in is the constant reoccurance that you seem to need someone. To make friends, you must first be one, biggles.

Blodren

__________________
"What the hell kind of scientist is this anyway?"
"One with a lot of free time on his hands. And a foot fetish."

Johnna

Well, I've heard from the majority that commented that it's good, but needs work. They gave me things to improve on. You are spewing crap.

__________________

biggles

I think your story is lacking in originality and it is not intriguing because of this and in your inability to write well. If you could reinvent yourself maybe with all your energy you might relieve the reader of it. Anyway, if one other
person comes up with this genre I must avoid the obvious and remain quiet.

Non Serviam

We've certainly heard a great deal about what one potential reader will think.

Seriously -- it's okay to comment on a piece of writing, even if you couldn't do better.

I mean, personally, I'm crap at carpentry. I couldn't dream of making a table. But if someone else shows me a table they've made, I can see what's wrong with it and help them by telling them: "I don't think it's a good table, it's all wobbly and unstable." And then maybe they can ask a real carpenter how to avoid the same mistakes next time. See?

You don't need to be a carpentry genius to tell someone where the faults are in their table, and in the same way, you don't need to be a writing genius to tell someone where the faults are in their writing.

But before you can provide a critique, you do need to have something specific and intelligible to say.

So, "it's all wobbly and unstable" is a potential critique. "That table's crap" isn't a critique, it's being an asshole. Repeating it several times is being a complete asshole.

See where I'm going with this?

__________________
Thoughtcrime does not entail death. Thoughtcrime IS death.

biggles

I'm not here to make friends LOL I'm here because I am reading in a writing forum shit I like and I don't.

biggles

no NON i don't - do you think the public will? hahaha

Non Serviam

Sure. What I don't understand is why you seem to care about it so much.

I mean, if it's shit, nobody will publish it, and you'll certainly never need to click on it again.

Why not go read someone else's stuff and tell them what you think?

__________________
Thoughtcrime does not entail death. Thoughtcrime IS death.

Johnna

My inability to write well? I know that I'm a good writer. Maybe I'm missing the unoriginality of it. To be frank, I like this story and I'm fairly sure it's original.

If you don't like it and have no comments on the story itself without saying "it's crap, rewite the whole thing", please stop commenting. I get your point--now PLEASE stop posting in this thread. I want real critiques.

Non Serviam, I like your carpentry analogy.

__________________

biggles

I'll give a quick explanation as to why I like or don't like something- that's it.
i bet if I told them I liked it they wouldn't have a fucking complaint lol

Non Serviam

It's not mine -- I read it somewhere else and re-used it.

I've forgotten who did write it, but, don't give me credit for it.

__________________
Thoughtcrime does not entail death. Thoughtcrime IS death.

blodren

Prost to Serviam. You said what I couldn't think of.

Blodren

__________________
"What the hell kind of scientist is this anyway?"
"One with a lot of free time on his hands. And a foot fetish."

biggles

Johhna - I love your story man - it's so cool!

How's that suit ya?

You'd take that on board wouldn't you? Stop asking ppl who don't like it to leave and find out why or don't and shut up.