Stardog

Prologue

The room contorted as the pulse twisted from the Captain's palm; the light casting harsh, dark shadows along the lines of his aging face. Onlookers shielded their eyes. Bodies piled up against the wall.

Just concentrate, he thought, as he ventured further through the delapidated hotel. They can't expect more than your best.

He continued into the next room, his arm already in overdrive. With this kind of usage it wouldn't be long before it blew completely.

The room forked in two. The Captain's instinct told him right, so he headed left. His senses weren’t what they once were, and at his age, he wasn't foolish enough to trust himself.

Without warning, the floor collapsed beneath him.

Three painful floors later he came to rest in a heap of rubble in the darkness of the basement. As he attempted to move, an excruciating pain ran through him. He knew it was no use. Both his legs were broken.

A voice cut through the darkness.

"Well, well, well, Captain. Nice of you to... drop in," the voice said. The smoothness of his English accent didn't hide his obvious amusement; and one step forward revealed a tall, dark figure, with a smile the size of Venus. "My, my, this is just like old times," he mused.

The Captain felt a ripple of fear turn into a wave. He recognised the dark figure instantly. "Scorpus?! But Stargazer killed—"

"—killed me? Killed me!?" Scorpus roared, and stomped forward. His right hand gripped the Captain's throat, muddy nails sinking through his flesh. "Stargazer!? He's the dead one, not me... Captain!"

As Scorpus' hand sank into his neck the Captain let out a mighty roar, and with all the strength left inside him, unleashed a pulse from his left palm. He could feel the energy tunneling through his arm. The pulse lit up the basement and tore relentlessly into Scorpus' midriff. Within seconds, he felt the energy container in his arm overheat and explode with a bloodcurdling bang.

And then there was silence.

The adrenaline quickly wore off. The Captain could see bits of his arm on the basement floor. Worse, he could still feel a hand on his neck; it was squeezing even tighter than before. His attack had been fruitless. He hadn't even scratched him.

"Nice try old man," said Scorpus. And with that, he tightened his grip. "Say hello to Stargazer for me."

Chapter 1: Stardog Champion

He had a sore head, an aching back, and his phone was ringing.

Half-asleep, he reached for it, grimacing as his overworked back made a loud crack.

Stardog Champion, he thought. Crime fighter extraordinaire. Letting out a tired laugh he lifted the receiver.

"Hello?" he asked.

"I must meet with you, immediately," a surprisingly direct female voice declared.

Stardog flashed his eyes over his exhausted body. "I'm finished for a week, at least, sweet cheeks. Sentry should've blocked you from getting through to me."

"I didn't contact you through Sentry."

Stardog let out a tired sigh. How do these people get my direct number? he wondered. This wasn't the first time a fan had bypassed Sentry to contact him; Sentry's employees were celebrities after all. "Listen, lady. I don't know how you got this number, but check with Sentry in a week, then I'll see what I can—"

The woman hit Stardog with a piece of news that took him totally by surprise. If he was tired before, this news made sure he was fully awake.

He put the phone down and quickly switched on the television; and sure enough, there were news stories breaking on almost every news channel.

"Captain Hi-top—the last of the famous Capricorn Sisters superhero group—died this morning, during a routine assignment from Sentry—the superhero agency—at The Balmoral Hotel in Edinburgh," one news story said. "It is thought a group of well-known crime figures were hiding out in the luxury hotel. Stardog Champion, it is believed, remains the last living Sentry member to have an affiliation with the Capricorn Sisters, his father being the founding member. Although, unlike his predecessors, Stardog, of course, lacks any—"

"Superpowers," said Stardog despondently, turning off the television.

His attention quickly returned to the phone. "Hello?"

Nothing but a dead tone. The woman was gone.

Stardog slumped back onto his matress. Knowing my luck, he thought, this won't be the last time I hear from her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX END XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I know the main character has the same name as my username, but it's the name of a song from one of my favourite bands

What thoughts do you guys have on this? I don't like the last sentence of Chapter 1. I think I maybe need to slow things down with some description, but I don't know.

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Skeldragon

I think the prologue is very good. Not much you should add to that i think. I'm guessing but is the prologue the reason he has no powers? The first chapter is good too. If this is your first or second draft at this, then no i don't think you should slow it down much. Mabey 1 line distriptions about charcters could be used. But to my small expiance, some people are good at writing distription and some are better at action, the way to become a great author is to combind the both. I think you did that in the prolouge, and chapter 1 is a good contrast from all that action. Mabey in the next few chapters you should explain a bit, like how superheros get their superpowers. And who that evil amn is at the begining. Hope it helps at all.

Stardog

Thanks, anymore thoughts?

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FICTIONFANS