Advice for a non-fiction book ad - Writers Forum

Daniel Malone · 05-05-2007, 05:15 PM

I'm not sure if this is the best place to put this, but I want some feedback or advice on this ad. Anyway, I wrote an ebook about coins. I want to eventually self publish and sell it so I wrote an ad to promote it. Any advice is appreciated.

The mission statement of this ebook is helping anyone find rare and valuable U.S. coins in their collection or pocket change. This is accomplished by introducing one to the basics of coin grading symbols, mint mark locations and what mint puts them on each coin, most common mint errors and varieties (with reference pictures), rare coins that still can be found in circulation today, key dates along with the type and denomination of each coin (with reference pictures).

Here are a few simple questions to answer before purchasing:

You own a coin but don’t know what kind it is?
Do you own a coin and don’t know where the mint mark is located?
Do you have a coin and don’t know what it is worth?
Are you in the habit of spending all your spare change without first looking for valuable errors?
Did a relative leave you a collection and want to know what it is worth?
Do you want to sell your coins and not get “ripped” by a dealer?
Do you have a mint set or proof set and want to know its’ value or if it is rare?
Do you know what the grading symbols mean in a price guide?
Can you identify what kind a mint error a coin has?
Do you want to start collecting coins, but don’t know anything about them?

If you answered yes to one or more questions above then this ebook can help. This book is unlike others of its’ kind because it is written in an easy and to-the-point format. It doesn't’t use big words or confusing terms or cause one to reference a huge glossary in the back. Everything is explained as you read along and view the pictures.

silverfoxgirl · 05-05-2007, 05:39 PM

If I were you, I would start out with the questions and have less of them. Also, take out "Here are a few simple questions to answer before purchasing:". Make the rest of the ad more casual and fluent. Don't use even mino rly formal words, act like you are a Joe-Smoe talking to some one. It sounds a little bit choppy at the end, so I would connect some of the sentences.
For the most part, though, Its really good.
Good luck!!

mammamaia · 05-05-2007, 06:42 PM

'mission statement' is totally inappropriate for a bookselling ad... and most of the rest of the paragraph is also guaranteed not to hook any buyers...

then, the first of the 'questions' isn't one... and the rest are full of grammar and punctuation errors...

the closing paragraph is awkward/poorly worded and also has errors needing fixing...

here's just one way the opening can be corrected/improved:

Quote:

Wouldn't you love to find a rare and valuable coin among your collection, or in your pocket? It's not as much a long shot as you may think.

My e-book will introduce you to the basics of coin grading symbols, mint marks and the most common mint errors, plus provide info on rare coins that still can be found in circulation today. Key dates, type and denomination of each coin are shown in accompanying photos.

...that's just one off-the-top-of-my-head example of how to grab the readers from the first word, instead of being sure to lose them, as your version would do... sorry if that sounds harsh, but advertising takes skill and tact and a good take on psychology, as well as ad copy-specific writing skills... and most folks don't have all of that, so don't feel too badly...

here are just the most glaring bits of what's wrong with the questions part:

Quote:

Here are a few simple questions to answer before purchasing:['purchasing' what?...you started out saying the book will help them find a coin they already have, so this is silly, if it refers to coins... if you mean purchasing the book, it's even sillier to assume they might not!]

Quote:

You own a coin but don’t know what kind it is?[not a question]
Do you own a coin and don’t know where the mint mark is located?
Do you have a coin and don’t know what it is worth?
Are you in the habit of spending all your spare change without first looking for valuable errors?['errors' are not the only reason coins become valuable... why limit to that here?]
Did a relative leave you a collection and want to know what it is worth?[if it was 'left' the relative would be dead and couldn't 'know' anything... plus, other than 'relatives' do leave people things in their wills]
Do you want to sell your coins and not get “ripped” by a dealer?
Do you have a mint set or proof set and want to know its’ [no such word... 'its' (no ') is the possessive... 'it's' is contraction of 'it is'] value or if it is rare?
Do you know what the grading symbols mean in a price guide?
Can you identify what kind a [nonsensical... should be 'of'] mint error a coin has?
Do you want to start collecting coins, but don’t know anything about them?[should probably be the first question]

...hope this is some help... if you want more, drop me an email... in my old life i did some advertising work and i now mentor writers of all breeds, will be glad to give you a hand...

i have to add that if this bit is representative of the quality of the writing in your book, you should seriously consider hiring an editor to whip it into better shape, before offering it for sale...

love and hugs, maia
maia3maia@hotmail.com

Daniel Malone · 05-05-2007, 07:20 PM

silverfoxgirl, thanks for the advice and I will return the favor.

mammamaia, thanks for the advice. I may email for more advice.

mammamaia · 05-06-2007, 05:50 PM

any time, dan... hugs, m