Charlie_Eleanor

Okay, so I have written some more and I am worn out. I want to keep going, but I should really do some work before I get fired (But, then I could write all the time)...hehe, no...Well here is some more. I am posting everything but the prologue, and I am going to italisize what I had posted before. However, there are some revisions that I will bold. Hopefully they helped clear some stuff up. Again, I really appreciate everyones advice and time that they put into reading this.



AGAIN THERE IS AN R RATED PARAGRAPH, HAHA. PLEASE BE AWARE.



The boots were going to be blue with black embroidery of Reezin Tree Blossoms. Spearwa knew Fel hated blue, and boots for that matter, but it was the only thing she was comfortable in and blue was her mother’s favorite color. Her brother, Jay, detested the idea as well, but gave into her tantrum with the stipulation that she had to look ‘pretty’ for the Zuname Festival.

What did pretty mean anyway? When she asked Jay he had simply told her to grow up. Spearwa certainly didn’t think Brid was pretty, with her short legs and scraggly hair. She wasn’t even graceful in her movement, and therefore, could not help in the water field. Jay and Brid had taken vows last winter when it became obvious that they had not waited to consummate their rights as a couple. She was now five months with child, and the way she looked it might be more than one.

In the end Spearwa decided that everyone thought flowers were pretty. Of course, she would need a new black tunic to match. She decided to visit Crow, the weaver, for this task. After all, she had been making her own boots since she began working in the water fields, but she had never dared to attempt a tunic. Such precision was meant for a more feminine hand. Not that of a farm-maid.

She walked down the path through the center of the field. The hot breeze beat against her neck, and she could taste the scent of flowers on her tongue. She breathed deeply, closing her eyes, and that is all the time it took. Fel jumped from behind the hollow tree and pushed her to the ground.

“Felicjan!” Spearwa exclaimed. Not willing to allow another sound from her lips, Fel kissed her with fierce passion. For a moment Spearwa let herself go. She felt his tongue against hers, his longing body pressed against her thigh, and his hand softly touching the small of her back.

“Stop Fel,” She whispered, “no one can see us like this.”

“Why? Everyone knows that you are the one I love!”

“Everyone may know, but not everyone approves, especially my brother.”

“Your brother is…..”

“I know,” she said as she touched her lips to his ear, jumped up and ran towards town.

Fel and Spearwa had grown up together. They had become very close since her mother disappeared. He had taken the soft spoken, grey eyed girl under his wing when she was not more than seven years of age. They spent days together, exploring the stream, that became the river, and together they dreamed of it entering the sea and what worlds lay beyond there. Often Fel would help in the water fields. He did not exhibit the grace and beauty that Spearwa had while working with the myriad of plants, but he made up for it with his patience to learn. Spearwa’s brother, Jay, never really warmed to Fel, but he tolerated him. After all, Fel’s talent with a bow provided them dinner many a winter’s night.

It became clear a few years ago, after Fel passed the age of adulthood, that he had fallen in love with Spearwa. He paid her every attention and defended her when the other children teased her for being so strange. She too returned his affections with the occasional soft touch and soft word, and before long they found themselves in each others arms, telling each other the deepest desires of their hearts.

But, their love was forbidden until Spearwa herself became an adult. They had each counted the days until this upcoming Zuname Festival. This was the year Spearwa’s calling would be declared, and they would be free to be together.




Spearwa could now see the village. The buildings were so heavily decorated with foliage that an outsider might become confused and think that there were no houses at all. In the center of the buildings that made up the town was a circular lawn called the Green. People were busy setting up tents and tables for the festival tomorrow. Spearwa hoped that she had not come too late for Crow to be able to finish the tunic before the festivities began.

She entered the dark shop. Crow was sitting at a table, carefully stitching together yards of fabric. Who knew what she was making? The magic the chubby dark skinned girl worked with cloth was not a magic Spearwa understood.

“Crow, do you think you can make me a black tunic by tomorrow?”

“A tunic? At the festival? You must be joking Spearwa. You should wear a dress.”

“I’ve already made boots. It is too late for a dress.”

Crow looked at her. Spearwa knew what she was thinking. The kind of boots she wore were not socially acceptable. They were thigh high boots meant for working in high water. She didn’t even wear any pants with them, only a tunic that she fastened with a belt so that it resembled a make-shift dress.

“I want the tunic extra long. That should be acceptable enough,” Spearwa smirked. She was sick of people judging her. Crow grumbled under her breath. “What is that?” Spearwa snapped, instantly regretting her haste.

“It will be ready in the morning,” Crow chuckled. “There is no taming you, wild Sparrow.”




As she stepped out of the shop door the bright sunlight encompassed her. She could immediately hear Fel’s breathing. Spearwa could not see him for the temporary blindness the bright sunlight caused in contrast to the dim-lit shop. He had been waiting for her.

“Tomorrow you will be an adult,” he said. Spearwa could finally see him, and looked into his face with knowing eyes. “Will you meet me in the tent at the edge of the Green before the festival?”

She smiled and walked away towards the farm.




Spearwa entered the tent at dusk. She was alone. Had Fel forgotten? Every second seemed like hours as she waited. Boxes of supplies surrounded her, full of food, drink, and decorations. Suddenly, she felt his hands behind her. He kissed her neck. “I am in love with you Spearwa.”

“And, I am in love with you.”

He lifted her new black tunic, and cupped her breast in his hand. He remembered how he used to make fun of her for having strange pillow like objects on her chest. Now he only longed to caress them. She pressed into, and knew he was happy, for once, that she didn’t wear trousers beneath her boots. Slipping her undergarments down, he entered her from behind, feeling her gasp from within. In these moments their love was not judged. They could hear the crowd gathering outside as he pushed further into her. Squeezing her tight he began to sweat from the excitement. Her muscles were beginning to spasm. Finally, he let himself release. “I love you,” he whispered.

“And, I love you.”

******


Fel watched as Spearwa straightened her clothes. “So, do I look pretty?” she asked.

Fel laughed. He knew what she was asking. “Yes, except for one thing.” He walked up, pulling the string from her hair, and admired it as it fell down her back. The dark brown curls matched her skin brilliantly. “Now you look beautiful.”




The Zuname Festival marked the celebration of children entering the life of adulthood. Enock was the towns Divinite, sometimes referred to as the seer. He was in charge of the main festivity at the Zuname Festival, the Reezin Tea Ceremony. In this ceremony each child that would be entering into adulthood would sit in a circle and drink tea made from the Reezin Tree bark. The tea was usually made to aide in the ability to have visions, and was drunk only by the Divinite. However, on this occasion, the tea was meant to help the children and Enock to discover their permanent role in the community.

After the tea was gone each child would lie down, and Enock would move around the circle slowly. He would guide their spiritual journey through gentle whispers, and when he came to a conclusion for each child’s place in society he would help raise them to their feet. A final whisper that revealed their destiny was spoken into the child’s ear, and they would go to a private place of their choice to contemplate their future. Thus, they entered adulthood.

The tradition had been conducted longer than any of the elders knew. Over the years it had become understood that the male’s prophecies were far more significant than the females. They would be the ones to take on the role of the healer, warrior, or hunter. Every one waited in anticipation for the boys to return from their contemplations, and reveal what life task they had been given.

This year was even more significant for the males, because Enock would be choosing his apprentice. That apprentice would eventually take on the key role in the community as the Divinite.

Of course, the girls were not without expectation. They might have the prestige of being named as a mid-wife, seamstress, or, on rare occasions, a second healer. Spearwa had known for a long time that she would be named a farm-maiden. After all, working in the water fields was her greatest skill, and a skill that few people had. For her the tea drinking ceremony was only another step to being able to take vows with Fel.

With these expectations Spearwa walked towards the Green. The circle meant for the Reezin Tea Ceremony was on the far side. Tapestries depicting different scenes of battle, farm life, and nature were situated on the outside edge of the circle. Spearwa sat on one portraying a beautiful tree that had different birds adorning each branch. She watched as the other children she had grown up with sat in their places. Three girls and five boys waited patiently for the ceremony to begin.

The villagers grew quiet as Enock entered the circle. He carried a basket full of Reezin Bark to the center, where a black caldron was boiling over a small fire. He began to whisper something that Spearwa could not quiet hear, but somehow she knew is was a prayer. He dropped the bark into the water, one piece for every child and himself.

Each child lifted their cup as Enock filled them with the steaming liquid. Spearwa looked into the water with suspicion. She wondered, like she often did, if this moment would change her life. A smile crept onto her face and she glanced up at Fel. He stood there, eyes meeting hers. He was so tall and strong. His brownish-red hair curled from his head, and brushed softly on his shoulders. For a moment she couldn’t breathe. He smiled back at her.




The drink tasted like the earth, like sand in ones mouth, and the feeling of sand started to run throughout the veins in her body. It made her heavy, and she fell back onto the tapestry. She felt her soul escaping its prison through her grey eyes. It lifted itself into the air far above the village, and for an instance she could see the entire scene below. It was gone quickly though. Her conscience turned north, and she saw a man lying in a field. He was alone and sleeping. He opened his eyes and saw Spearwa above him.

“Soon,” he whispered.

Suddenly she was in the grove, and her mother was telling her a story. She tried to cry out and kiss her mothers face. She had missed her. What had happened to her? But she was unable to move.

“Spearwa, you must listen to me when I say this. You are not like your brother. He is a good man, and will contribute to our people throughout his life. But, you cannot put down roots here. This village is like the tree, each person a root that holds it to the land, but you have been born with a different calling. You are only a bird that has rested on the tree until your time has come to fly north.”

Spearwa heard herself laugh. It was not her voice, but that of young child’s. Her mother smiled. Oh, she had missed the warmth of her face!

“You might laugh, but this story will come to you again someday. You have to know that not everything is what it seems. They will come for you if you do not fly away, and I may not be here to help.”

Suddenly she was yanked away. No! She clawed at the invisible ropes that pulled her. This isn’t enough. I want to see more. I want to remember her words!

A bright white sky filled her vision. A tree on a hill was blowing in the wind. Slowly it was being pulled from the earth. Each root tried to hold itself in the ground, but the wind only blew harder. Spearwa tried to help it. She tried to grab the tree and pull it back down to the ground, but it was gone.




She was back in the circle. Enock had lifted her to her feet.

“It will be okay, little one,” he whispered. He saw the look in her eyes, the longing to see more. “Soon…Now, you must lead your people as the Divinite your mother and I both knew you were meant to be.”

She was shaken. What? She would be the Divinite? Her mother had known this? She had spoken with Enock about it?

Enock nudged her before she was able to consider another thought. She dumbly stepped out of the circle and began to walk. Tears inadvertently streamed down her face. She collapsed when she reached the Grove, laying her face down on the earth where her mother had set in the vision. She cried for her mother like she had never done before. Her tears, testimonies to her grief, ran down the bank to meet the stream.


THANK YOU AGAIN!

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shianna

ok, the revisions worked out fairly well. still certain things that can be improved or cut down on - the use of had in the second paragraph of revisions, it was too repetitive - but l like the way you revealed events here. the added emotion at the end filled in a gap l noticed the first time l read, although l would've liked to see the reaction fel had (maybe just a "spearwa, wait!" type thing... just an idea, but anyway. check out "www.myspace.com" (l've found it's half decent, and l'm actually getting views on my page. somewhat. lol)
nice job so far, and checking out the blog.
laurie.

Charlie_Eleanor

Thank you so much shianna. I printed out a copy of what I had so far and I am going through making hard core revisions. I'll keep what you have said in mind. I have a myspace page, but I am unable to access it from work, so I wouldn't really have any time to do it, but thanks for the suggestion.

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