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Critique and Advice Works seeking critique, advice or assistance.

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Old 04-10-2007, 03:45 PM   #1
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11
Thomas Hamburger Jnr is on a distinguished road
I'm not proud...

I am coming towards the end of a an online story I've been writing via a blog.

I did get some initial comments from a kind member of Writing Forums when I first started writing, which were very helpful.

The thing is, this is my first attempt at fiction. I'm writing it via a blog because I know I'm inveterately lazy, and the discipline of trying to publish every day is just the thing I need.

It's garnered a limited (regular) readership over the past two months, but I have absolutely no idea whether it's any good!

I'd be very grateful if WF readers can stop by at

Harry McFry Investigates

and let me know (here) what you think. Please be brutal, be frank and be honest. If this thing is ever going to get published, it's going to need a good critique!

Kind Regards

Thomas Hamburger Junior
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Old 04-10-2007, 05:20 PM   #2
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Chucky is on a distinguished road
Hello Mr Hamburger.


Firstly, although I haven't been on these forums for very long I have found that people who post links to their work on other websites don't do very well in getting a lot of reviews. Use copy and paste - it only takes a minute. Literally.

Well, I read the first couple of chapters, and it is actually pretty good. Very good, in fact. I got a strong sense of the protagonist, and there was excellent use of humour. At the end of both chapters there were real cliffhangers to make me want to read on.

Your writing style is taut, exciting and, dare I say it, professional. Punctuation and grammar are excellent.

In fact the only reason I didn't read on is because I have done my job - to review your work - and the first two chapters are enough for me to go on. And I am very tired.

Quote:
The thing is, this is my first attempt at fiction.
I really find this hard to believe.

Quote:
I'm writing it via a blog because I know I'm inveterately lazy
Unfortunate. Very unfortunate. Try snapping out of your lazyness. You are wasted on blogs.
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Old 04-11-2007, 01:19 PM   #3
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Thomas Hamburger Jnr is on a distinguished road
Many thanks for taking the time and trouble to read a couple of chapters, Chucky - and for your encouraging words.

Although I enjoyed writing at school, and write reports a lot in my job, I've never completed any sustained fiction before, so your comments make me feel I might be on the right track with Harry McFry.

I'll bear in mind what you say about laziness!

Kind Regards

THJnr
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