Superhero- The Champion - Writers Forum

Arvind · 03-26-2007, 02:10 PM

Hey, I dont post here too often, just thought I'd pop in to see how you guys are doing. I am a 14 year old Indian living in the Middle East.

I was inspired by WriterDude to try and create my own unique superhero. I have 45 mins, lets see what I can do.

------------------------------------------------------

The boy stood, surrounded by a circle of armed men.

But he was no ordinary boy. His face was blackened by ash and his hair, dirty and unkempt. He wore a dark, flowing cape that hung from his tired houlders. The letter 'C' had been emblazoned on the fabric of his overdress in a dark purplish hue. His armour was light and durable, made out of iron and aluminum he had salvaged from a garbage dump the previous day. At first glance, one might think he was Mexican, but judging from the position of his brow and the darkness of his skin, he was clearly of Indian origin.

"Give us the ring, now." demanded the Leader of the team.

He wore a black coat. His features were hardly distinguishable in the darkness that sprawled across the narrow alleyway. He took a step forward and his hands fell directly in the path of a stray beam of light. Reddish brass knuckles adorned his hairy fist. No other weaponry could be seen, but chances were that there was a gun hidden somewhere deep within his clothing. The other Thugs wore a similar attire.

"It isn't yours.." said the cloaked hero, almost childishly.

"Look, kid, give us the ring and we'll be on our way."

A short pause ensued.

"No."

"Give us the foking ring!" roared the leader.

The cornered boy was slightly unnerved by this sudden outburst, but was able to compose himself. He began calculating, spacing out moves, planning his strategy. If he was going to get out alive, he would need tactics.

"For Chrissake" hissed the Leader, annoyed and exasperated, "Diego! finish
him!" He motioned towards the shrouded figure with contempt.

A short, hefty man to the left, callously approached the boy. He too wore a pair of brass knuckles. The hoodlum threw his hands forward clumsily to grab onto the Champion's head. He had little knowledge of the pain that was in store for him.

The boy whipped out a claw hammer from a hidden compartment in his trousers, and brought it down savagely on Diego's knee-cap, chipping off a
piece of bone. A shriek of agony erupted from the man's mouth. But the boy
did not stop there. He shoved his hammer ruthlessly into his crotch. Diego
curled and slumped onto the cement floor, helpless and in pain. The victor
unleashed a proud howl, as the other men rose up to fight him.

Vicious, mighty, untammable. The Champion.

-----------------------------------------

Ah, gotta fly, I'll be back with more soon!

Arvind · 03-27-2007, 01:01 AM

Mike · 03-27-2007, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arvind

At first glance, one might think he was Mexican,

This is, among many things, one of the things that needs to be worked on. You have a lot of assumptive images.

Arvind · 03-27-2007, 04:03 AM

I'll have to work on that then!

Anarkos · 03-27-2007, 04:27 AM

Please read Warren Ellis's Stormwatch, Authority and Planety comic books.

Then think about superheroes. Not before.

WriterDude · 03-27-2007, 06:25 AM

Heh, I actually inspired someone. Now that's something you don't see every day.

When I created Red Valkyrie, I first invented both characters, then the story. With "both characters" I mean Red Valkyrie and Chloe, her normal identity. What would Red Valkyrie be able to do? What does she look like? What is her agenda? How was she even born? (so to say).
But just as important, maybe even a bit more, what about Chloe? What does she look like? What is her agenda? What can and can't she do?

First create the character(s) in detail, then go for the story afterwards. It makes it a lot easier to know what the character can and can't do, so they don't suddenly go out of character and do something they normally shouldn't be able to do. For instance, if the character falls out the window on the fourth floor and lands on his/her feet unharmed, it wouldn't make sense if he/she later falls out the third floor window and is bad injured.

And most important, it's very hard to write a unique story (or a story at all) just because you read another story and got inspired. I've tried that several times in the past, but never finished them. Red Valkyrie is based on the gadgets from Batman and Green Arrow, but that's it. The rest is unique.

Anarkos · 03-28-2007, 04:56 AM

I have written several shorts that were inspired directly or indirectly by others. Most are more or less unique. Sometimes, the characters I used existed first; other times, I created them to tell the twisted story I wanted to tell.

"Trench 37b" which is an old story somewhere here was written directly in reply to someone else's WW1 short on another forum. I wanted to write something with that sense of doom and utter destruction. So I did. Is the story unique? Well, aside from being unedited and unfinished, yes. Admittedly, when the main supporting character is a certified sociopath, things tend to get unusual.

"Going Rogue", which is linked to in my sig, was written as a direct homage to the first Rambo movie, First Blood. Is it unique? It's certainly nothing like the scene in Rambo to which it pays homage, because (unlike John Rambo) John Phoenix is an expert in urban terrorism (whereas Rambo was a trained jungle fighter breaking down out of his element).

Flashing Out was very clearly inspired by William Gibson and Warren Ellis. If I hadn't read Neuromancer, Johnny Mnemonic, Transmetropolitian or Desolation Jones, Flashing Out wouldn't exist. Unique? Well, probably no one else would be as demented and stupid as I, so, yes.

In both of those examples, one character existed only. In the former, I used him because I wanted my new character (the narrator) to contrast with a soldier who was much better at his job but who had burned away all his human characteristics and become an unstable psychopath. I could pretend that this was to show the dehumanising effects of war, but I probably wasn't thinking that much. In the latter, I thought out the bulk of the story, then realised that I could use that story to get a character out of a predicament I had left him in. So I did.

I haven't seen a new twist on the spandex genre since Planetary. Well, maybe Nextwave, but that's Ellis too. And removing all plot and character and just making people kick each other in the head and then explode isn't really much of a new twist. NewUniversal, possibly, but I haven't read it.

Hmmm. Ed Brubaker's Sleeper too, I guess, but it's just noir shagging a spy thriller. It just so happens that the double-agent has super-powers. Quite disturbing ones too.

Your window-falling example is not really proof that you must create the characters first. Instead, it is proof that you must abide by the rules you create for your setting and characters. Or, more simply: A story must be consistent.

WriterDude · 03-28-2007, 08:02 AM

"Your window-falling example is not really proof that you must create the characters first. Instead, it is proof that you must abide by the rules you create for your setting and characters. Or, more simply: A story must be consistent."

Which is the entire point of creating the character first. The better you know him or her, the easier to stay on track and abide the rules.

As for getting inspired and writing your own story, that's a bit questionable, but it is fully possible. The tricky parts are creating that's truly your own instead of fan-fiction, and living inside someone else's world. Fan fiction are not legal to publish as your own without permission from the owners, and many don't even allow you to publish it for free.

Having a character based directly on someone else might be considered your own work, but it might be rated fan fiction by others.

Take that "Going rogue" story of yours as an example. If you use the story from the movie, or even parts of it, chances are it might be fan fiction even if the character is slightly different. Different name, different speciality, the exact same story. You even said it yourself, it pays homage to the first Rambo movie. That smells like fan fiction to me.

And besides, Rambo spent a lot of time in the forest and didn't, um, go Rambo until the end of the movie when he was forced into the city. I'd still like to read it, though.

But as this is wasn't even about our work, perhaps we should go back to the original topic.

Superhero - The Champion sounds a bit too generic to me, so you might want to change that. Other than that, please let me see a summary or draft of parts of the story. Right now all we have is one scene. It's not enough to judge an entire book or story.

Anarkos · 03-29-2007, 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WriterDude

Which is the entire point of creating the character first. The better you know him or her, the easier to stay on track and abide the rules.

But this doesn't just apply to characters; it applies to every element of the work. If there are no cars in your sci-fi city, you cannot drive anywhere. If someone is shot dead on page two, he can't walk back in on page twenty. If you're letting elements of magic into your world, they must stay in your world even when they aren't convenient. If there are no superheroes in your world, superheroes cannot suddenly appear.

This isn't just about knowing characters in advance. Sure, sometimes that's good. Other times, they grow almost organically out of the story you're telling.

What it is about is being bound by every rule you set down on paper. It's consistency.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WriterDude

As for getting inspired and writing your own story, that's a bit questionable, but it is fully possible. The tricky parts are creating that's truly your own instead of fan-fiction, and living inside someone else's world. Fan fiction are not legal to publish as your own without permission from the owners, and many don't even allow you to publish it for free.

There is a vast difference between being inspired by elements of one or more stories or even paying intentional homage to a story and simply writing fan-fiction.

If homages were fan-fiction, Tarantino would have been sued so much that he would have had to resort to prostitution to pay.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WriterDude

And besides, Rambo spent a lot of time in the forest and didn't, um, go Rambo until the end of the movie when he was forced into the city. I'd still like to read it, though.

He chose to take the fight to 'them', and, if you'll re-read my previous post, I said that I was paying homage to one scene; the last.

Going Rogue is linked to in my signature.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WriterDude

But as this is wasn't even about our work, perhaps we should go back to the original topic.

Superhero - The Champion sounds a bit too generic to me, so you might want to change that. Other than that, please let me see a summary or draft of parts of the story. Right now all we have is one scene. It's not enough to judge an entire book or story.

I don't especially want to criticise that piece in depth, because I already come across like a grumpy old man on here. All I really want to do is point at Warren Ellis comics.

Oh, wait...with all this Heroes buzz on TV and the recent glut of bad superhero movie adaptations, are we now seeing a breed of spandex fans who don't read comic books? Say it ain't so, ma!

Arvind · 03-29-2007, 07:10 AM

I simply sat down and wrote a peice with a superhero. After that, I got up and forgot all about it. I dont read comics, I just wanted to write. Anyway, atleast you two took the time to read it and give me your criticism. Thanks for that.

WriterDude · 03-29-2007, 07:21 AM

Payong homage and copying a scene here and there is fine. That I can like. The difference is when it gets too much, especially if you don't realize it yourself.

Right now I've thought about writing a Table Tennis novel, based directly on Rocky (I got the idea from the excellent Table Tennis game on xbox360). The idea is a person who has a slighlt interest in a table tennis, and decide to enter a tournament. The story will focus just as much on his or her personal life as the tournament itself. In some ways, this has nothing to do with Rocky. It's a different character in a different city living a different life. But at the same time, simply relplace table tennis with boxing and rename the character Rocky, and you have a problem. The story itself is the same, but two changes like that makes it obvious it's just ripping off a great movie.

And that's the point. Staying unique and original can be very difficult at times, even if you don't see it yourself. I read most of the Going Rogue story, and although good, replace "Phoenix" with "John" or "Johnny" and read it again. It could just as well have been part of the script for Rambo 4. (with John Rambo, if I'm not too mistaken.)

The point of creating the character first is to get a character(s) you really know and love before you start with the story. Once you have done that, think about the overal plot and try to find a red line from start to finish. This way you know how long the story will be, the highlights and so on. When that is done, it's easy to fill in the details or page fillers and stay true to the original story you had planned or change it if it doesn't get as good as you hoped.

(by "page fillers", of course I don't mean boring pages where nothing really happens. I'm talking about describing the characters and scenes in detail, fill in conversations and so on. All important, but pointless to write in the beginning since you already know it. You only want the highlights to guide you when you finally write the story.)

WriterDude · 03-29-2007, 07:28 AM

I read a few comic books now and then, regularly watch Smallville and watch the new superhero movies. (Superman, Batman, Spider-Man etc). I even know they are working on a new X-Men movie (there's some trouble to sort out beween Marvel and Fox first), a Wonder Woman movie and even a Luke Cage movie, as well as Hulk 2 (with Eric Bana or the guy from Prison Break). And as for Heroes, it's not started over here yet. I will watch it when it is starts.

But superhero is far more than spandex. If you think superhero, it's easy to think about Marvel and DC Comics. But what about Watchmen? Or that "V For Vendetta"? Not that I saw the last one, but apparently, it's more real than Marvel and DC.

Arvind · 03-29-2007, 07:43 AM

Yeah, 'V for Vendetta' is a really good movie. The last scene where he's surrounded by those Armymen just blew my mind. I wonder if the Graphic Novel was like that.

WriterDude · 03-29-2007, 10:45 AM

And thanks for spoiling that part after I just said in the previous post I didn't watch it.

(nah, don't worry. I didn't care enough to watch it. The comic book was a bit boring.)

Vee · 04-04-2007, 07:38 AM

Heroes hadn't started here when I was developing Slipstream (its on here somewhere) and I thought her time travel ability but difficulty of controlling it was unique. Then I see marvel has a character called Timeslip and am informed of the character Hiro from Heroes.

Since the X-Men have gained significantly in popularity, it is impossible to do a superhero that has not been done.