Dawn of Night - Writers Forum

Lusastrium · 05-01-2005, 02:03 AM

Dawn of Night

As the dying sun ushers the death of the past day

The growing shadows shall consume the horizon

Midnight will soon draw near to its completion

And bring the cycle of every day to a full circle

All things live upon someone else’s borrowed time

Time that shall be taken by its owner in the hour appointed

Fate’s hand guides all lives to their completion for better or for worse

Since everything must end, for nothing in this world is immortal

Dusk’s edge, once light filled has slowly been turned

All of Twilight’s light-dark hues have turned to black

But one must always remember the law of polarity

There can be no dark without light, no white without black

Hope dies a screaming death as the night pierces its core

The light has faded beyond all memory and the night-winds blow

All hearts and minds are cold as they gaze upon oblivion’s face

People forget day and only remember darkness, surrendering to despair

But look not at the darkness and glance at what is above us all

See the stars that shine above the sky, above the might of midnight

The star’s shine is hope arising from the ashes of destroyed hope

It is the epitome of perfection, the lone light against the menacing black

Though the stars yet shine, it is not the greatest illumination

After the night, there is a light that arises from the West

A dawn shall arise and bring the sun back to its home
And the stars will be like a torch, igniting an inferno, light-bringing
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The Happy Couplet
If you don't go and review
Then great chaos will ensue
With death rays of evil dark lords from the planet Titanima X with backing from the shadow empire of the sun which is the shadow Japan from the 15th century ruled by the Mongols after the defeat of the Hojo dynasty which led to a lot of things that good champions of the light like Alanna the Lioness in the Lioness Quartet by Tamora Pierce had to rue and fix do

Sparx · 05-01-2005, 03:40 AM

Pretty amazing. Thats a very nice poem(it is a poem, right?). You used some amazing imagery there and loved your metamophors you came up with. Very powerful poem.

However, the only line i didn't really like was was this line: "The star’s shine is hope arising from the ashes of destroyed hope". It doesn't really sound good when i'm reading it and it somewhat out of tune with the rest of the poem. It does create a nice imagery of hope but it hasn't been hasn't been written well.

All in all, nice poem.