Hypothetical Birthday Card Message... - Writers Forum

Peter Thomas · 04-30-2005, 05:57 AM

okay, someone give me the nod to say when my posts turn from pitiful to annoying...

I'm sure you've already read about my lovely day (if not check out the "How's ya week" board, and look for an oh-so-inspired thread title...), but I'm still faced with the dillema of writing my ex's birthday card. Of course, when push comes to shove, it will invariably say little more than "Happy Birthday, hope this special day brings you everything you've asked for and more" (hence the title "Hypothetical"), but as some sort of purging of emotion, I've been writing a "deep and meaningful" birthday message that could substitute it if I were on speed and considering suicide after indulging in the emo-angst-lifestyle.

I've put it here because I really do want to know what you think of it. I want to know what changes you'd make. What'd you'd take out, what you'd put in, what's too crappily worded, what works well. I want the perfect 'soppy message' in my wepon-base. So gimme your thoughts:

Adrian,

When I first sat down - opening this card up in front of me - I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to write. And now, sitting here, pen-in-hand, I realize just how wordless I truly am.

What can I say that hasn’t already been said or heard, laughed about or cried over? There’s nothing new left for me to say, and yet I refuse to write the meaningless, convoluted slogans everyone expects of me. You are more than “Happy Birthday”, and you are greater than “Well Wishes”, but – it would seem – there is still not enough left of me to demand anything more.
I will not make you cry. I do not want you to feel awkward or imposed on. All I want is for you to know my truth.

But I think that can remain unsaid.

I am, and always will, remain your trusting friend.

Happy Birthday,
From Peter

Peter Thomas · 04-30-2005, 06:59 AM

Thanks mia. I always love reading what you have to say. It's very grounding and - although painfully honest - inspiring and encouraging.

I won't give you the entrails (that did make me laugh, though), but he still wants me as a friend, and - unless he has been lying to me and managed a monolithic turn around in the last 3 weeks - then he still has feelings for me (however mixed up they may be).

I've already bought him the card, already told him I got it, and he still wants us to be friends, so I can't just not give him a card now. And you're right, I don't want to wish him a happy birthday. Not that I'm angry with him or I want him dead. There's just a lot more I want him to know without me actually saying explicitly what it is. I wish him well.

And now, whether it be for better or for worse, I'm actually considering using that message for real. If he is the guy I know, it will make him cry (I'm not out to score revenge, but I guess a few tears would boost my ego). And if it turns out he roars with laughter and shows it around, then I guess he isn't the friend he says he is, and I'd be glad to find out sooner than later.

Still interested to see what others think of it, and what you'd say if an ex (one you could be friends with, NOT the one that ran away with your secretary) gave it to YOU.

**Penelope** · 04-30-2005, 07:57 AM

My x's birthday came two weeks after he left our 19 year relationship. I sought out advice from friends as to whether I should mark this occasion or not. They said I should so .. the card I purchased read as follows
(card front)
Today is your birthday! (It had a picture of a cartoon cat)

(inside)
Go out and have a great time digging in sandboxes and doing silly things.

I added the inscription

.. oh yeah .. you are doing that already ... I forgot.

Peter Thomas · 04-30-2005, 08:10 AM

Hehe, you either had a very open, sarcastic relationship with him, or you wanted to get under his nerves big time. Would it be rude of me to ask which one?
Also Penelope, assuming you still had feelings for your ex, and you got this birthday message, what would you be feeling?

mammamaia · 04-30-2005, 10:16 AM

sadly, no matter what you say [or don't], it can and probably will be taken in a way you didn't mean... that's just the way of things after the glow's gone and the once-loved/loving one's gone with it...

my best advice [from much experience, i'm afraid] is to just send a nice, non-commital storebought card with only your name signed at the bottom...

**Penelope** · 04-30-2005, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peter Thomas

Hehe, you either had a very open, sarcastic relationship with him, or you wanted to get under his nerves big time. Would it be rude of me to ask which one?
Also Penelope, assuming you still had feelings for your ex, and you got this birthday message, what would you be feeling?

It was neither. He left, I didn't and I wasn't too sure what one does in those sort of circumstances. I followed advice but made sure the message was mine.

It would tell me I should move on.

Oddly enough, it's been almost six years and he still phones me occasionally. I never call him.

Rico · 04-30-2005, 12:48 PM

heh, I think it's sweet. But that's just from stupid over-romantic me.

Quote:

I've been writing a "deep and meaningful" birthday message that could substitute it if I were on speed and considering suicide after indulging in the emo-angst-lifestyle.

hmmm.....no......trust me.....that's not where you want to go...

-EDIT- Oh, and if an ex (that I was still friends with, as you specified

) were to give me a birthday card like that, I think I'd cry. I'd probably call them, thank them.