The Man in Black

one.

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The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.

horrorcrafter

very cool... must be a clancy fan. I like the idea and your writing style... just the right level of detail. I think Blake would say "sir" more often. Don't like the paragraph whi began "he winced..." Love the gore, very well described. and the dream is a wonderful touch. Hey, you may have a real solid contender here... keep it up
Horrorcrafter

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Canadian Lynx are beautiful sensitive creatures which are very good mothers and they make a wide variety of sounds such as meows, purrs, cough-barks, growls, and screams like a woman. She is the next mammal to become extinct in North America largely because we waste so much paper. Please reduce, reuse, and recycle. Cheers, Horrorcrafter

The Man in Black

Actually, I've never read a Clancy book, but thanks for the comment. I looked at that paragraph that you mentioned, and that was actually one that I had been working with. I was having real trouble getting that tree and its story introduced (setting it up as a symbol for later) and I think I've cleaned that up a little better. Was that what you didn't like about it? or was it something else?

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The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.