bobothegoat

[an:7f14711620]This is my latest project. I've just started working on it last weekend and have close to two chapters done. Anyway, here is the first chapter of Fiction Land.[/an:7f14711620]
If you do not want to read anything that does not add to the back-story of the Main Character, do not read on. This story will not contain lessons or inspiration for the Main Character. This story is about myself and myself alone.

All my life, I’ve been told that my life is a tool of the Author, and that the purpose of my existence is to provide back-story for the Main Character. I’m sorry. You probably have never heard that word before. It’s a pretty blasphemous word that says we “exist.” That means that we kind of are in the reality the Author is said to exist in. Sort of, anyway. Hopefully it will make more sense later.

As I said, I’ve always been told to serve the Author. Yet all my life, I’ve had a strange refusal for the idea. I kept it to myself, of course. But still, I always seemed to have a voice in my head that kept telling me that something about that wasn’t right.

Perhaps that’s what the root of my problem was. I’ve always been real terrible about getting myself into the Novel. My disbelief and perhaps a deeper understanding of the Novel than my peers might have led to some sort of subconscious reason for my lack of motivation. I mean, to get into the Novel, all you really have to do is something- anything- that gets mentioned by the Author. You don’t even have to be mentioned by name. Just having your work mentioned, perhaps a building you worked on or something, is said to get you eternal life within the Novel. But thousands of years with no arising of the Main Character makes it seem nearly impossible to get mentioned- especially if it took another thousand years for him or her to get here.

This leads me into the start of this story- my story. I was still in school. Counting that year, I still had two years of it left. I went to Northwestern Furtown School. You’ve probably heard of it. Supposedly, it produces more book-worthy students than any other school in the region. That’s only because that was their main focus though. In fact, by this time nearly everyone had figured out what they were going to do to get into the Novel. I, however, was part of the shameful undecided group. A bit of a misnomer I suppose, since I’d pretty much decided I didn’t really care.

My friend- Hank- and I often would joke about the Novel and make up schemes to get into the Novel, or how to get close to the Main Character. “Hey!” Hank told me that day before we went to class, “I’ve got this idea. I could betray Fiction Land to one of the Antagonists. Maybe, if I do it good enough, they’ll make my name synonymous for traitor or something.”

And then, despite the fact that I knew he was joking, I’d shoot it down stating, “You’ve got nothing to betray. Nobody would care.”

Anyway, it wasn’t long then that I had to depart Hank’s company so I could go to class. It used to annoy me that I never got put in the same class as all my friends. I used to think that the school was out to get me or something. But I didn’t care as much about it anymore. At least not as much as I used to. I had bigger things to complain about, such as Novel Making Skills class.

“You need to take this seriously, Colin,” the teacher told me. Well, technically Mrs. Todd was a councilor and didn’t really teach anything. That’s what I hated about that class. We never learned anything. All they ever did was stress the importance of the Main Character and the Novel.

I think I said something like that to Mrs. Todd once. She responded by saying something like, “Learning is useless if you don’t know what you’re going to do with it.”

She sighed when I didn’t respond to her statement on seriousness. “You know I care about your success. I want you to succeed, but you’re not really helping yourself.”

I must have gotten distracted, because I said something that I probably wouldn’t have under normal circumstances. “Why? Because you didn’t succeed?”

Fortunately, she didn’t take it for what it was: an insult to her lowly position of school councilor. “Do you think this is some sort of joke?”

I could tell she was starting to get frustrated. Perhaps angry, even. “Who knows?” I suggested, “Maybe the Author is a funny guy.”

Mrs. Todd seemed pretty displeased with me. She probably was too. I don’t know what she was planning to do next (probably a lecture or something), but fortunately for me, I didn’t have to find out. Some girl, Fern was her name, came from the computers saying she needed help with a problem on them.

“Alright, I’ll be right there,” Mrs. Todd responded. “Think about what I’ve just told you,” she said to me before leaving with Fern.

As if. Silently I thanked Fern. Not that she was doing it for my benefit or anything. She probably couldn’t care less about me. Still, I was glad she’d pulled Mrs. Todd away from me. With some luck, she wouldn’t get back to me and I could finish my history homework.

My history homework was this handout we’d gotten yesterday about some war fought forty years ago. It disgusted me. The only reason the stupid war was fought was because everyone thought a war might make a good backdrop for the Novel. Or that, at the very least, it would help assure them eternal life within the Novel by giving the Main Character some interesting historical context. It was stupid, in my opinion, to assure life through death though.

It’s funny. That’s what the handout’s questions were about. “What was the reason the war was fought, and why was it significant?” I think if I’d been in a more sarcastic mood, I’d probably have written that there was no reason or significance. I didn’t want to make my history teacher grouchier though, so I just wrote about the Novel and whatnot. Besides, I kind of liked history class, regardless of its stupidity.

I must have dozed off after I finished or something, because before I knew it, the bell rang. I do that sometimes, but I never seem to remember what I was thinking about. Sometimes I do, so I think that I think during those episodes. I get sort of upset when it happens and I don’t remember, because then it seems like I just wasted a part of my life that I’m never going to get back. I just wish that I could actually get something done during those times, I guess.

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Bobo the Goat

eggo

Yo Goatman,

I just got through reading your story and i liked it. Its a good variation on " The Truman show" or " Tron".

First a couple of problems. The story is dieing fof a opening paragraph that brings us up to speed. Your opener is a stand-offish. Something like " They say we are fictional, but to me this is reality"

The school disscussion between the teacher and the main character is written in a choppy manner. I would rewrite it to flow a bit.

This is the strongest paragraph in your work. The first sentence is actually the last sentence in the previous paragraph. A very clear picture of the story which should be a bit closer to the top.

This is the weakest. There is no clear idea. The words 'remember' and 'think' are repeated here a quite a few times.

The apology here is out of place.

Seemed make this sentence to passive.

'or something' is too vague. "a great work of art' would give it strenght.

Some girl or Fern?

All and all I liked reading it. Good job

gohn67

Eggo gave a good critque. So I just want to say that this was interesting. Though I'm not sure if I like it yet, I have to see more. But you got me interested enough to read more.

The premise to the story is definitly interesting, I wonder how you will pull it off becuase it seems like a tough story to write.

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bobothegoat

Thank you, gohn and eggo, for your critiques of my work. I shall take it all under consideration(esp. eggo's in depth critique) in my revision.

gohn, I'm glad you were interested, since at this point that's all I'm worried about. I have the rest of the story to get you to like it

Once again, thanks.

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Bobo the Goat

grapefruit shall rule O_o

I am working on something where the characters live in a cartoon. It's starting to scare me how many ideas have already been used by better known writers...no doubt there are lawsuits in my future.

I personally love every word of it. (Though I might be biased!)

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