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Old 03-09-2005, 04:40 AM   #1
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Shiwen
my history paper (not completed)

I havent completed it yet:

its about writing a letter to your loved back in AUstralia, as if you went to war in Gallipoli. Add any ideas, or corrections, thanks.

-------------------------------

Dear Abigail,

How is everyone back home? I miss you all so much. I ache for your flesh, and the thought of your generous bosom bouncing as you run toward me when I return makes this ordeal all the more arduous. So has George started walking yet? I am having a hard time here and I hope to get back to you as soon as possible. There have been so many deaths; I fear that I may be next.

The day we set sail for Gallipoli was the worst day of my life. I was heartbroken that I would not be seeing you for many years, maybe never again. The ships which took us across to Gallipoli were dirty and had a horrendous stench. The journey to Gallipoli was as boring as watching the mating ritual of a koala. When we finally reached the shores of Gallipoli, all my mates and I rushed towards the cliff, holding our guns tightly ready to fire at the enemies. However, we did not expect to be bombarded with gunfire. They had already set up a detachment of machine-gunners and grenadiers along the top of a cliff at Gallipoli. Pillboxes came alive with gunfire as soon as we were in range. It was horrible, like cattle plodding into the slaughter house. I was lucky, because I found a large boulder to hide behind. The next moments I saw were the most horrifying and gruesome things ever. I was so shocked; everything flicked by so slowly. As my mates tried to clamber for safety behind some boulders, they were shot in the shoulders and their chests. And from that moment on, I knew that my life was changed forever. I stayed behind that boulder for nearly 8 hours, and I thank God for it, for it definitely saved my life.
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Old 03-09-2005, 04:58 AM   #2
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I wish I knew about the gallipoli war. Or at least had some background in this.

I don't know if I can help much.

What do you plan on adding to this letter?

Its not too bad so far.
Try to keep that letter like quality though. I think it disappeared sort of near the end of the second paragraph.
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Old 03-09-2005, 05:11 AM   #3
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Shiwen
well...i have to include 5 significant events that actually happened. and i plan to add htings about the lack of training, inexperience etc.
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Old 03-09-2005, 05:17 AM   #4
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Well, I tried googling the war, but found very little information about it.

I wish I could help.


But I think you got some good ideas, just go with them.
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