salvothasock

illuminated bumpy ceiling
a single halogen light
interrupted
by
a blip in the wall
a slip
talking to the machine
the fridge speaks out
its cool, to digress
to mess with
a cold cut
thing a freak
a king of cool
what do i do
this is not
fridge, dear dear fridge
telling me things
it says things
i think things
and when i do that
its like a bird
taking flight
this being night
i step back
and hide inside
the glowing light

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purple junk diluted iguana infested snarkleberries hungry traveller

Prose Maiden

I like it. Very smooth rhyming and nice descriptive features. Way to go!

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Writing is my obsession!

And remember, you can't rush perfection; that's why we're all still imperfect.

Kajarow

I did't like it. I don't know why. Probably the format.

Keep Working


-KAJAROW

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-Human Stupidity.

damien_frosst

I like it. Reads well. Unfortunately, and I may just be slow here, I've no idea what it's about. None. Any hints?

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Damien

In my world, there are no heroes, only really polite villians.

salvothasock

hey, thanks prose maiden, always appreciative
kajarow, thanks for reading,
damien, hint: its about communicating in a different language with a refrigerator, talking to the 'fridge'
thanks...

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purple junk diluted iguana infested snarkleberries hungry traveller

gohn67

Very interesting topic to write a poem about.

I like the short lines, it creates a very nice fluid rhythm to it.

Overall it was enjoyable to read.

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The Frowning Dog Blog

Mazzie

At first I didn't like it. Not sure why...
But then I read your explanation on what it was about and now I kinda like it...