Character Analysis of Daisy from The Great Gatsby - Writers Forum

JustAGirl · 02-20-2005, 02:21 PM

Hello everyone. I'm new here so please help me out. I am suppose to write a character analysis of Daisy from The Great Gatsby, so I did and now I need your help in revising it. I have already revised it once or twice, but I also need an outsider's view. It's not suppose to be anything fancy...just a short analysis essay for readers who is familiar with this novel. Please help me check for grammar and level of audience comprehension. Also help me select the most appropriate opening of the two.

[Old opening: Brilliant authors of many novels do not simply state the characters’ traits but are able to successfully portray their characteristics indirectly through their actions and behaviors. In the case of The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald effectively depicted Daisy as a shallow figure who is dependent and lacked the ability to make decisions on her own through her daily manners.]

[New Opening: Women of America in the 1920s are often expected by the society to solely depend on men for emotional as well as financial support. In the novel of The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald effectively depicted Daisy as a woman who is not only dependent upon men to make decisions for her but is also very shallow.]

Daisy is a major female character within the novel who proves to be very shallow. After she accidentally ran over Myrtle while driving Gatsby’s car, she carelessly allowed others to believe that it was Gatsby who had killed her. Not only did she not confess what truly had happened, she fled East Egg with her husband, Tom, without second thoughts about Gatsby’s well being. As Nick observed, “They were careless people, Tom and Daisy – they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness…and let other people clean up the mess they had made…” (18

Her actions caused the lives of both Gatsby and Myrtle’s revengeful husband. She even failed to show up at Gatsby’s funeral although she claimed to have always loved him. She displayed an extreme case of selfishness and shallowness on her part by recoiling from the person she cared for during the moment he needed her the most.

Not only is Daisy a shallow character, she is also weak and fickle. She can never make big decisions on her own and even when she does she has doubts until the very end. When Daisy was faced with the dilemma of either marrying Tom or Gatsby, she spent a while on the decision but finally agreed to marry Tom. However she regretted her choice on the night just before the wedding, which revealed her incapability to make a decision and stick with it. She wept miserably while repeatedly saying “Tell ’em all Daisy’s change’ her mine” (81). Her uncertainty on the choice and the erratic change-of-heart at the last second on such an important event in her life clearly demonstrated her inability to make the adequate decision on her own.

Furthermore, Daisy’s dependent nature forces her to give in to the demands of the men in her life without the ability to think for herself. During the final moment of the drama, Daisy had first agreed to tell Tom that she never loved him under Gatsby’s pressure. However, when Tom demanded whether or not she had ever loved him, Daisy lost her courage and “sob helplessly” as she told Gatsby, “I did love him once – but I loved you too.” (140). Since she was so easily persuaded by these two men and obeying to what they wanted her to say, it shows that she is unable to think on her own.

Daisy’s shallowness was clearly exposed when she allowed Gatsby to take the blame for Myrtle’s death after she had killed her and then hastily disappeared from his life. She showed her inability to think for herself effectively when she regretted her choice of marriage the night prior to the wedding and complied with the wishes of both Tom and Gatsby when they pressured her to admit who she truly loved. F. Scott Fitzgerald successfully illustrated Daisy’s shallowness and her dependent nature through her performances in these situations.

Philo · 02-20-2005, 02:45 PM

Short of copying this and editing for you, I have the following suggestions and a few examples of what I mean. Print this out and take a red pencil to it. Cross out everything that isn't specific to the point you're trying to make as well as any repeated information. e.g., your fist sentence:

"Brilliant authors of many accomplished novels do not simply state the characters’ traits but are able to successfully portray their characteristics indirectly through their actions and behaviors. "

The point you make is strong and valid but its puffed up a bit too much with extraneous info. Good character developement can be done by any practiced author. So after cutting:

"Accomplished authors do not simply state their characters’ traits but are able to portray them indirectly, through their actions and behaviors."

In your opening paragraph you hypothesize that Daisy is shallow and dependent. You might clarify by sting that she is emotionally dependent rather than financially etc... There after I would suggest you take these traits in order and make your case for each and then summarize at the end.

The case you present for your hypothesis seems sound but its supported by her actions as well as interaction with others. Character names and places are mentioned without information as to who they are or how they figure into the story. This assumes your readers have read the book and are familiar with it.

I'd suggest going through and cutting what you don't need, filling in the details where necessary and then reading it outloud to see how it sounds. Hope this helps.

JustAGirl · 02-20-2005, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Philo

The point you make is strong and valid but its puffed up a bit too much with extraneous info. Good character developement can be done by any practiced author. So after cutting:

"Accomplished authors do not simply state their characters’ traits but are able to portray them indirectly, through their actions and behaviors."

In your opening paragraph you hypothesize that Daisy is shallow and dependent. You might clarify by sting that she is emotionally dependent rather than financially etc... There after I would suggest you take these traits in order and make your case for each and then summarize at the end.

Thank you so much for the suggestions. However, I want to make sure I understand this. You want me to just take out the first sentence and go right into the hypothesis? Please reply thank you.

Londongrey · 02-20-2005, 03:55 PM

Hi there,

Your user name would displease many a feminist, hehe.

Firstly please proof read, the grammar in many places make it a difficult read.

Secondly after each individual point you make, use a quotation that is properly referenced, you are riding on too many assumptions about the reader. Write as if to someone who has never ever read the book and you will get there.

I have a slight problemn with you analysis in that it does not reference the focus of the book, it's general themes and storyline. Your writing as if a comparison has already been made between the characters, you have to do this for the reader.

i.e. desribe Gatsby himself, not quite straight laced either but the author made it more covert to intrique the reader. Daisy was characterised in many ways almost to divert attention. In a way she has become a cliche as a character through film, play and writing.

Quote:

Her actions caused the lives of both Gatsby and Myrtle’s revengeful husband

Proof reading will get rid of sentences like this.

I think you need to introduce the book more and Daisy's role within the themse and storyline, back up your points with evidence.

Hope this helps.

Alex

JustAGirl · 02-20-2005, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Londongrey

Hi there,

Your user name would displease many a feminist, hehe.

Firstly please proof read, the grammar in many places make it a difficult read.

Secondly after each individual point you make, use a quotation that is properly referenced, you are riding on too many assumptions about the reader. Write as if to someone who has never ever read the book and you will get there.

I have a slight problemn with you analysis in that it does not reference the focus of the book, it's general themes and storyline. Your writing as if a comparison has already been made between the characters, you have to do this for the reader.

i.e. desribe Gatsby himself, not quite straight laced either but the author made it more covert to intrique the reader. Daisy was characterised in many ways almost to divert attention. In a way she has become a cliche as a character through film, play and writing.

Quote:

Her actions caused the lives of both Gatsby and Myrtle’s revengeful husband

Proof reading will get rid of sentences like this.

I think you need to introduce the book more and Daisy's role within the themse and storyline, back up your points with evidence.

Hope this helps.

Alex

Thank you very much for spending your time reading my essay. However, this essay was intended for my teacher. She already knows the storyline and wants to check my understanding of a particular character. So she told us not to write about the other characters or the story plot if they are irrelvant to support my essay. But you did bring up a lot of good points and for that I am grateful. Thank you again.

Londongrey · 02-20-2005, 04:15 PM

Your teacher told you that!!??!!! Oh lord, it took me ages to undo the pests of my teachers. I could murder half of them.

JustAGirl · 02-20-2005, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Londongrey

Your teacher told you that!!??!!! Oh lord, it took me ages to undo the pests of my teachers. I could murder half of them.

lol. yea. well I wrote a new introductory paragraph. Tell me if you think it's better than the old one...or that I need to write a completely new one. THank you.

Women of America in the 1920s are often expected by the society to solely depend on men for emotional as well as financial needs. As in the novel of The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald effectively depicted Daisy as a representation of women in the 1920s who is not only dependent upon men to make decisions for her but also shallow.

Philo · 02-20-2005, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAGirl

Thank you so much for the suggestions. However, I want to make sure I understand this. You want me to just take out the first sentence and go right into the hypothesis? Please reply thank you.

I quoted your first sentence and edited it as an example of removing extraneous info. I was trying to boil down the sentence and eliminate the stuff about brilliant writers and odd sounding bits like "Characters'... charateristics" I wasn't suggesting you remove it. But...

I've noticed that you've also put together another opening paragraph and its also strong, but needs some work as well. In the fiorst sentence try 'support' instead of 'needs' Second sentence, delete 'As' and start with 'In'. I would also consider removing 'representation of' and 'in the 1920s' and change 'women' to 'woman'

Again, the the point I'm trying to make here is: cut out the stuff you don't need. You've already referred to the women of the 20s in the first sentence, you don't need to repeat it in the second.

I'll check back with you again soon. I hope what Alex and I have said is helpful.

mammamaia · 02-21-2005, 11:03 AM

for openers:

Brilliant authors of many accomplished novels

...novels are not 'accomplished'... their authors are... a novel can be 'successful' or 'brilliant' or whatever, but since a novel does not write itself, this word isn't the best choice here...

...secondly, this is ambiguous in that it can either mean a small number of authors who've each written many novels or many authors of novels, some of whom may have written only one... some clarity is needed here...

In the case of The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald effectively depicted Daisy as a shallow figure who is dependent

...dependent on whom/what?...

and lacked

...you say 'IS dependent' and 'lackED' in same sentence... need to use only one tense... present OR past...

the ability to make decisions on her own through her daily manners.

...the lack of a comma after 'own' and placement of that last clause being so far from its generator, 'depicted' causes it relate to how she makes her decisions, and not how fsf depicted her...

...many too-long run-on sentences in this piece suffer from the same problem, due to lack of requisite commas...

...although it's pretty good overall, there are many more little-to-big things needing some tweaking to make this as good an essay as it can be... a careful proofread is needed... if you want help with that, just let me know...

love and hugs, maia
maia3maia@hotmail.com

JustAGirl · 02-21-2005, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Philo

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAGirl

Thank you so much for the suggestions. However, I want to make sure I understand this. You want me to just take out the first sentence and go right into the hypothesis? Please reply thank you.

I quoted your first sentence and edited it as an example of removing extraneous info. I was trying to boil down the sentence and eliminate the stuff about brilliant writers and odd sounding bits like "Characters'... charateristics" I wasn't suggesting you remove it. But...

I've noticed that you've also put together another opening paragraph and its also strong, but needs some work as well. In the fiorst sentence try 'support' instead of 'needs' Second sentence, delete 'As' and start with 'In'. I would also consider removing 'representation of' and 'in the 1920s' and change 'women' to 'woman'

Again, the the point I'm trying to make here is: cut out the stuff you don't need. You've already referred to the women of the 20s in the first sentence, you don't need to repeat it in the second.

I'll check back with you again soon. I hope what Alex and I have said is helpful.

Thank you so much once again! Well, I have fixed it as you suggested. Do you think the two sentences go together..or is a connector missing?

[ Women of America in the 1920s are often expected by the society to solely depend on men for emotional as well as financial support. In the novel of The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald effectively depicted Daisy as a woman who is not only dependent upon men to make decisions for her but is also very shallow. ]

JustAGirl · 02-22-2005, 12:26 PM

Where did my helpers go?!

I feel abandoned without your guidance...

mammamaia · 02-22-2005, 01:00 PM

i'm here, sweetiekins!... but i'm still waiting for you to send me the piece as an attachment... didn't you get my latest email?

hugs, maia

JustAGirl · 02-22-2005, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mammamaia

i'm here, sweetiekins!... but i'm still waiting for you to send me the piece as an attachment... didn't you get my latest email?

hugs, maia

Thank you so much! And yes I just received it and I have replied. Thank you again.