JohnCotton

I wrote another story. Its not really a story, i dont really know what you would call it. I wont tell you what its about, cause its obvious when you read it. thanks

http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1735291

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PennyHansen

I am no expert, so I don't really think it's my place to critique your work, but I do have one guestion: In your seventh line it reads...

"I cried out to you for guidance, for a sigh."

Did you mean sign? Sigh wouldn't necessarily be out of place. It could be less predictable. A different twist from the usual "guidance and sign" one would expect when seeking support from God. The character could be hoping for even a single sigh -- anything that makes him feel less abandoned.

Just curious.

Penny