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Old 08-11-2004, 09:55 PM   #1
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Repost- "Midnight" pages 5-8

Well here are the final four pages of "Midnight." Hope you enjoy

There was something strange about Melissa but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I got up from the couch to poke the fire. It had died down by the time I sat down. I turned my back towards the fire. Heat had never felt so good. “How do you know each other?”

“We’ve known each other a long time,” she smiled. Melissa’s auburn hair glowed in the firelight as she lay there stretched out on the couch.


“I see,” I didn’t know what else to say really. I had run out of words.

“What about you? Where are you from?”

“South Carolina,” I said proudly.

Melissa started funning her fingers through her hair. I knew that she was flirting with me. “Oh really,” she purred. “I’ve been there once, it was a long time ago though.”

I heard another noise in the foyer. This time it sounded more like children’s footsteps. Could this place really been haunted? I was almost convinced the place was haunted but Melissa rose from the couch as well. She went out into the foyer, looked around and came back inside.

“What was it?” I looked up at her.

“Oh nothing,” she sat back down and crossed her legs. “Why are you alone?”

“I was supposed to be meeting a friend and spending a few days with her,” I turned around and poked the fire again. “But I got lost, stopped at some off the wall service station and asked for directions.

“And you ended up here?” she must have known.

“Did the same thing happen with you?” I figured it must have happened to her as well.

“No,” she said shrugging her shoulders. “We’ve been here a long time,” Melissa stretched out across the couch again.

It was at that moment I realized something was wrong. I knew Melissa was a ghost and I could barely move when she said that. My heart started beating out of control, my palms became sweaty and I nearly passed out. I watched Melissa’s face as it turned a ashen color, she even frowned.

“What’s wrong?” she seemed genuinely concerned.

I had been sitting on the floor and tried standing, but my legs were too weak. My entire body had gone numb from the fear. “You’re,” I was trying to get the words out, but they weren’t coming. “You’re a,” I got a little further.

“A what?” Melissa giggled. “A ghost?” She smiled. “Well you could say that, but you’re probably wondering why I’m not wearing like a pretty gown or something?”

My breathing started getting faster and I felt like I was going to pass out. “You’re a,” I couldn’t get past that. “You can’t be,” I called her out. “You can’t be dead,” I pointed to her clothes. They were so modern, not from the Civil War.

“My sister and I were killed in a car wreck about ten years ago,” Melissa was now standing in front of the couch. She started walking towards the window. “It was a night almost like this,” she crossed her arms. “Amanda and I were supposed to be going to a party and found that same gas station,” she paused.

I grabbed hold of the table in front of me and managed to pull myself up. My knees were still weak, and my heart beating fast. I looked at Melissa standing by the window, arms crossed and I could hear sniffles. How do ghosts cry I wondered? I don’t know much about them, but I figured anything was possible. “What happened?”

“We stopped for directions,” Melissa turned around, and she had been crying. “We asked this really nice guy and we thought everything was fine but then,” she stopped. “Then,” Melissa couldn’t go on.

I didn’t know how to handle the situation because obviously I had never been in that type of situation before. I mean how to you console a spirit when you’re scared yourself? Well, I did what anyone would do, I walked up behind and touched her on the shoulder. Her body was as warm as a summer day. “I’m sorry,” I said in a low voice.

“He chased us down,” Melissa started crying again. “He ran us off the road,” Melissa dropped her hands beside her and turned around. “I’m sorry you had to meet us like this,” the tears rolled down her cheeks.

The tears were so real, her touch was real, even her kiss was real. Melissa stopped talking and leaned in to kiss me gently on the lips. It was a kiss that you only read about or experience once in your entire life. The whole thing was so real, I could have sworn she wasn’t dead.

“And you’ve been here all this time?”

“Yes,” Melissa’s voice cracked. “My sister isn’t very talkative as you can tell. She doesn’t take kindly to strangers. And I don’t know when we’ll ever get to leave. I don’t like it here Brad, I really don’t.”

“Come with me,” I reached out for her hand.

“Why?”

“Just trust me.”

Melissa was a bit reluctant but I figured it was a once in a lifetime experience. I took her hand gently. I looked into her eyes, which seemed to be so full of life. We kissed for the second time but the second time around had more meaning, almost as if we were becoming one.

The last thing I remember was laying down on the bed upstairs, kissing Melissa and falling asleep. When I woke the next morning I was alone but I could feel someone laying next to me. I sat up in bed, looked down next to me making sure I was indeed alone. Sure enough I was, and disappointed as well. After I dressed, I went downstairs looking for Melissa and Amanda. I didn’t find them anywhere. Maybe it was all a dream, or maybe it happened and they had gone away.

“I’ll never forget last night,” I heard a voice as I stood at the front door. I turned around. There wasn’t anyone there.

There came a knock at the door, which disrupted my attention from the voice. I went to open the door. There stood an older looking gentleman in blue coveralls. He had a nametag on which read BOB. “You alright in there?” he asked in a southern accent.

“Yeah I’m good,” I was looking out at the freshly fallen snow. My mind went back to Melissa. It had to have been real. “Are you from the towing company?”

“Yeah, you called us last night but with the snow and all we couldn’t get out till this morning.”

“Do you have my car ready?” I stepped out of the foyer and onto the porch.

“Sure do,” he tipped his hat and walked down the stairs. “Do you have any idea where you are?”

I stopped, turned around and looked back into the foyer. I thought I saw both Amanda and Melissa standing together, side by side. “Yes I do,” and I smiled.

As we drove away from the plantation, I closed my eyes and come to think of it, I hadn’t made a mistake. Maybe I was supposed to have stopped and met those two wonderful young women. It could have been fate, but as far as I knew it was one of the best nights of my entire life.
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Old 08-16-2004, 03:14 PM   #2
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I really liked both parts of this story, (I love ghost stories), the atmosphere was right. I liked that you went with a more touching tale, rather than just scary. The only thing I can think of that might be a useful criticism is that you have a tendancy to repeat the same word too many times in a paragraph, (e.g. 1st half, second paragraph, the word snow). I think maybe reducing that might make the prose tighter. But it is a great story!

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Old 08-16-2004, 03:22 PM   #3
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Thank you so much....I wanted to change this story from it being scary to touching...The man has always hated ghosts and feared them until he meets one in person...I just wanted to try something different.

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