Hope you enjoy - Writers Forum

Novicewriter · 08-03-2004, 01:18 PM

Hello all..Novicewriter here. Here is a story i'm currently working on. Hope you enjoy reading...

The King Air 350 reached a cruising altitude of sixteen thousand feet just ten minutes after takeoff. The pilot, James Roberts had been flying for almost fifteen years now and had over ten thousand hours of experience. He knew what he was doing, and his passengers trusted him with their very lives.
James Roberts was a young man in his early thirties, with dark blonde hair, graying at the temples, wore glasses and worked out three times a week. He had a passenger, a fellow student pilot named Sarah Martin. She was a few years younger, with sky blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair that was cut short, and styled neatly. She too worked out several times a week and shared the same passion as James did.
“Where are we?” Sarah asked, looking out the window.
“About hundred miles outside Charlotte,” James adjusted the throttle. He was going a little too fast because of the tail wind coming from the east.
Sarah had always loved flying, ever since she was a child and dreamed of becoming a pilot some day. That’s why she contacted James because she knew he was the best. “And how far is it to Asheville?” she sounded curious and a bit afraid.
“About two hundred miles or so,” James looked out to his left. There was another plane, a smaller one about three thousand feet below. “Looks like we got company,” he pointed out the plane, even though Sarah couldn’t see it.
“Where?” she leaned over as best she could.
“Down there,” he was pointing.
Sarah turned back towards her original position and stared out the window. She looked at her watch. It was a few minutes past one now and not much longer to go she thought.
“You want to take over for a while?” James asked.
Sarah’s heart nearly stopped when James asked her that. She didn’t know what else to say. “Are you sure?” is all she could say.
“Yep,” James was confident in that he knew Sarah could fly. After all it was one of their longer flights.
Sarah reached up and grabbed the flight controls. James let go and now Sarah was flying the airplane. A sudden chill went up and down her spine. There was a feeling of power she experienced too. I’m really flying, she thought. This is the best feeling in the world. Sarah looked at the altimeter, and sat steady at sixteen thousand feet.
“Well,” James had reached behind him and pulled out his thermos. “You’re almost done,” he announced. James twisted off the cap, poured coffee into the top and drank slowly. It almost burned his tongue. “Hot,” he yelped.
Sarah tried not to laugh, but couldn’t help it. She finally let out a huge laugh. “Sorry,” she apologized. “How much do I have left?”
“Well,” James’ tongue burned. “You’ll need to get some solo time, and night flying too, but other than that you’re doing good.”
Sarah felt proud of herself at what she had accomplished. Just a few months ago she was going through ground school, and now was flying. She checked her airspeed and noticed they were going a bit too fast. She quickly adjusted the throttle and slowed the airplane down to 230 knots. “Going too fast,” she said.
“Just keep an eye on your airspeed, fuel, and altimeter. Everything else will take care of itself,” James knew what he was talking about and Sarah felt safe being with him.
Sarah looked ahead, probably thirty or forty miles and noticed building clouds in the horizon. They didn’t seem too ominous at the time, which was probably a good thing. Any worse and they could have been in serious trouble. There was a slight bump of turbulence, which made the plane veer off to the left a bit. Sarah had to recover. “Sorry about that,” she apologized.
“No need to apologize,” James finished his coffee. “Seems like we have some turbulence,” he didn’t pay it much attention. He was used to slight patches of turbulence while flying.
“And are we going to refuel when we get to Ashville?” Sarah asked.
“Look down at your fuel gage,” James pointed out. “Then figure up how much fuel we’ll use going and how much we’ll need to get back.”
“Couldn’t I climb to a different altitude?” Sarah asked.
“You could,” but James didn’t see any point in it. He didn’t like flying above fifteen thousand, mainly because if there was any loss of cabin pressure, he could get below ten thousand rather quickly.
Sarah wanted to get higher so they wouldn’t burn as much fuel. “Do you really like flying?” she asked.
“Love it,” James was looking down at the ground. “We got about thirty minutes before we land,” he closed the cap on his thermos. “So start your descent when you get about 80 miles out of Asheville,” he was barking orders.
Sarah took a mental note on what to do. After all, she had done this a few times before, but couldn’t remember it all. “Those clouds look pretty bad,” Sarah pointed out the cumulus clouds. The tops were billowing like soft pillows in the sky. There were a few darker ones mixed in too.
“Well,” James tried to radio in for a weather report. “Let me see what the weather service has to stay.”
There were building clouds now, looking more and more ominous. Sarah didn’t like the looks of things either and could feel the tension mounting. She gripped the controls as tight as she could and took in a deep breath.
As she looked out the window, Sarah could hear James call into the weather service. He waited, listened and wrote down a few things. Sarah could only imagine what he was hearing.
The weather had deteriorated within a matter of minutes, literally. Both Sarah and James were concerned but not panicked. They had to remain calm during the situation.

Bluenoseuk · 08-03-2004, 03:30 PM

Are you sure you're a novice??

I loved it, so well-written, great depth, and it felt incredibly real. keep up the good work, as I would like to read more of your work...

Novicewriter · 08-03-2004, 04:12 PM

Well thank you... I like flying and know some about it... mianly becuase i've been playing Flight Simulator 2004

. Seriously though, thank you for the compliment...I am working on it some

So you'll have to wait

Thanks again,

Novicewriter (Bill)

MisterRaziel · 08-03-2004, 06:20 PM

Is this finished or a WIP? I only ask because the ending didn't feel particularly strong.

I liked it. It felt true to life, which is I think what you're going for. It seems to me this story is about the difference in perception between a rookie and a practised hand, and how we often compensate for a lack of understanding by filling in the gaps with our imagination.

Not bad.

desired_destiny · 08-03-2004, 06:25 PM

Hello, Novicewriter. Since you read my excerpt, I decided to read yours. I must say, it was brilliant. As mentioned before, I don't think you are a novice. It was a very interesting read.

Novicewriter · 08-03-2004, 09:10 PM

It's a work in progress....only written about 8 pages so far... Thank you for all the kind words....once I get it done i'll see about getting a publisher..of course i'm not ready for that yet

Again thank you all for the continued support,

Bill (Novicewriter)

jules · 08-06-2004, 10:27 AM

I love the details about the equipment, etc in the plane, and i love the interaction between the characters, i can feel the mounting tension! i'm off to read the next bit, well done!! it's great!
xoxoxo

Novicewriter · 08-06-2004, 10:57 AM

Well thank you Jules

I know a thing or two about flying...I've flown in a small plane a few times...Anyway, it was something I wanted to write....Trust me there's more

Bill

Matilda · 08-16-2004, 02:35 PM

I enjoyed this, it felt as though there was tension mounting (I'm sure it is given it's a work in progress). And I've never flown, but I found it convincing. It does feel like it's going somewhere, without any obvious signposts of where (a good thing I.M.H.O.). Great work!

Novicewriter · 08-16-2004, 02:39 PM

Thank you....yes it's going somehwere...just not sure where yet. I've started work on the second chapter...

Thank you for the kind words though.