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Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
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New Story
Little Jon Stevens looked out the window of his room as a white station wagon pulled in across the street. Looking out the window, he saw a man and a woman climb out. The man opened the rear driver’s side door and out stepped a little girl. The girl was about the same size as Jon, she had coal black hair pulled back into a ponytail. She was wearing a flower printed dress and knee high stockings. The woman opened the other door and lifted a very little girl out of a car seat. Jon just stared out of the window. His mother Judi walked into his room.
“Honey, what are you looking at? Is there something interesting outside?”
“Yeah, I think we have new neighbors, Mom. They have a little girl that is about my size, she has black hair and she is kind of cute, from what I could see.” “Why don’t you go over there and ask them if you can help them carry their things into their house and help them get comfortable.” “Ok Mom, I’ll be back later.”
He stood by the station wagon, waiting for his new neighbors to come out of their house. The man walked out of the house and toward him. The man was wearing a light blue button-up shirt and a pair of tan slacks. Jon was staring at his shoes, not wanted to make eye contact.
“Hello son, you must be one of our new neighbors. Well, what is your name?”
“My name is Jonny Stevens.”
“Well Jonny, my name is Frank Laveau. Let me go get the rest of my family, so I can introduce them to you.”
Jon looked through the windows of the station wagon and tried to count all of the boxes that were still inside. “Jon, I would like for you to meet my wife, Cheri Laveau.” She was a beautiful woman with black hair down to her shoulders and very curly. She was wearing a long red dress that flowed down the ground. Jon couldn’t take his eyes off of her eyes, the way they sparkled, and the color, a deep, dark green. “Jonny, this is my daughter.” Before Frank could finish his introduction, the little girl spoke up.
“My name is Lindsey Marie Laveau. I’m seven years old. How old are you?” “I’m seven years old, too.” “Wow, I guess we are going to be in the same class when school starts. This is my little sister Jessica Laveau, she’s two years old.”
He thought that he knew what accent that Lindsey was using, suddenly he remembered a show that he had watched, and realized that she was talking with a Louisianan accent.He looked at Jessica; the little girl smiled at him and waved her hand. “She looks like she likes you. She is usually is afraid of strangers.”
Jon suddenly remembered what his mother told him to ask them. “Can I help you carry your things into your house?” “Sure, you can, son. Why don’t you stay for supper? I sure you are going to be hungry after we get everything put away. You can help the girls with their room.” Lindsey quickly grabbed Jon’s hand. “Come on, Jon. Let me show you our room. Hurry, Hurry, Hurry.” She led him up the stairs to the room. Jon was amazed at the decorations of the room. There were a lot of very interesting looking masks, most of them were colorfully painted and made of wood, but some of them were porcelain. “Do you like the decorations? My mother said they are from our ancestors and that they are very old. I like they look really neat. My mother won’t let me touch them. She told me that we come from a very interesting family. We have boxes and boxes of old photographs, maybe one day we can go down into the basement and I’ll show you some of them.” “I would like that, Lindsey.”
“Well, we need to go get my sister’s toys out of the car. Isn’t my little sister cute?” Jon didn’t actually know how he should answer the question. “She is very cute.”
“Well, Jon what do you think about me, huh?” “You are very nice.” “Jon, I was asking if you thought I was pretty.”
“Sure, I think you are pretty. You are beautiful.” “Good, well I think we ought to get started. What do you say?”
Lindsey and Jon finished the room a couple hours later. They sat down on Lindsey’s bed. She grabbed his hand and looked directly into his eyes. “Is something wrong, Lindsey? Is there something wrong with my eyes?” Without saying a word, Lindsey leaned toward Jon and kissed him on the lips. She leaned him back onto the bed and they locked lips again. Just then, Lindsey’s mother knocked on the door.
“Supper’s ready. Hurry down and eat it while it’s hot.” “Wow, what did you do that for?” Jon asked. “I kissed you because you said that I was pretty. Did you like it? I really liked it. Thanks again for all your help today.” They started down the stairs. “I like it, too. Jon whispered.
“Well Mrs. Laveau, thanks for supper. I think I’m going home if you don’t need anymore of my help.” “Thanks for all your help Jonny. Will we see you tomorrow? I’d love for you to drop by and spend some time with Lindsey and Jessica. I think she really likes you.” Jon said goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Laveau. Lindsey walked over to Jon and kissed him on the cheek. “See you tomorrow, honey.” Lindsey whispered. He just smiled as he walked out the door.
“How are the neighbors?”
“They are very nice; they have a daughter that is my age. She has a lot of interesting masks on the wall of her bedroom. She said they are from her ancestors and that they are very old.”
“You said they had a daughter that is your age, huh? Is she pretty?” “Yes. She is pretty.” “Do you like her? Did she thank you for helping them move in?” “Exactly, she kissed me.” “Oh really, she must be your girlfriend now.” “I’m going to bed now.” During the night, he had a dream about Lindsey. She needed his help and wanted him to come over tomorrow and talk to her. Jon sat up in bed and wiped the sweat from his face. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he couldn’t wait to talk to Lindsey.
“Good morning Jon, what are going to do today?” “Well, I think I’m going to the neighbors and talk to Lindsey. Mom, I had a dream last night that Lindsey was talking to me and I was talking to her, and she said that she needed my help.” “I don’t know what to tell you, honey. Are you sure that you don’t like her? “Well, maybe I do like her, but I’m not sure.” “ Well Jon, I think you do like her, that is why you want to spend time with her, and I think she really like you too, that is why she kissed you goodnight last night.” “Well, I’m going to go over there. See you later, Mom.” I knocked on the door. Mrs. Laveau answered the door.
“Lindsey and Jessica are waiting for you in their room. By the way, I’ve never seen Lindsey smile as much as she has in the last 24 hours, even little Jessica seems to be a lot happier since she saw you. Back in our old house and town, Lindsey didn’t have any friends, and spent a lot of her time reading our old family books and looking at family photo albums. I’m glad to see you spend so much time with my girls.”
“Where is Mr. Laveau?” “Today was his first day at work, and Jon, I don’t think you should keep my girls waiting.” I walked up the stairs. “Come in.” “How did she know that is was at the door?”
“Hello honey, I’ve been waiting for you to show up. We have a lot of things to do today.” “What are we going to do today?”
“Trust me Jon; we are going to have some fun.” Jon looked at Lindsey. She had a big smile on her face and a hint of laughter in her smile. Just then, Jessica started to talk. It was the first time he heard Jessica.
“Yeah Lizzie, we are going to have a lot of fun with Jonny. Jonny is a cutey, we are going to have tons of fun with him. What are we going to do first?” Jessica climbed off her bed and walked over to Jon. She wrapped her arms around Jon’s leg.
“Well Jon, I think Jessica has a good idea. But not right now, we have other things to do.”
“Let’s go downstairs and show Jon some of the neat stuff that we have down there. Jon, could you get the light for me?”
Jon walked down the stairs and was amazed at all he saw. There were drums and other musical instruments in the corner of the basement. Boxes and boxes of photographs were set on a shelf. Lindsey reached up on a shelf and pulled out a picture of a woman with a snake. She was holding the snake above her head and she was dancing
“What do you think of this picture, Jon?”
“I think that woman is crazy, I wouldn’t be holding that snake. I’d be afraid that the snake would bite me. Who is the woman is the picture?”
“Her name was Marie Laveau. My mother told me that she was an important lady in New Orleans. That is where my family comes from.” “Lindsey, what are the drums for? Are your parents in a band?”
“No Jon, my parents aren’t in a band. Every do often, my parents out the drums and my dad plays the drums and my mom dances around with our snake and they chant too. I like to watch her dance around and twirl the snake around her body. My mom seems to be in a daze when she dances.”
“Is the snake still around?”
“It’s down here in that cage over there.” Jon walked over in the direction that Lindsey pointed. He looked inside the cage and he saw a long yellow and black snake. Its belly was bulging, and he assumed that they had just fed it. “Jon, let’s go up to my room and listen to some music and talk. “Are you ok with everything that you saw downstairs? You aren’t scared of this, are you, Jon?” “No Lindsey, I’m fine. I was just a little shocked at first, but its ok with me.”
“I’m glad that you are ok with everything. All of my family gatherings have drums and snakes and dancing. I wanted to show you this, so you can understand my family better. Our family history means a lot of us, and I want you to feel like part of the family.” Jessica smiled when Lindsey said that. “Don’t you feel like part of the family, Jon?” Jon just smiled.
“Let’s listen to some music.” The music started and Jessica extended her arms toward Jon. He picked up Jessica and started to sway back and forth to the music. Jessica laid her head on Jon’s shoulder as he rocked her. Jessica raised her head up just enough to kiss Jon on the cheek. They continued to dance for about twenty minutes and Jessica had fallen asleep in his arms and he lowered her toward her bed. Lindsey looked at him and said “That was really sweet of you to dance with my little sister and the way you made her feel so comfortable with you.” “Let’s see if my mom has made anything for supper.” As they walked down the stairs, Lindsey kissed him and they held hands down the stairs.
After supper was over, they went to watch some television. Mrs. Laveau asked Jon a question. “Jon, would you like to spend the night tonight? You can stay here as far as I’m concerned.” “Well Mrs. Laveau, I’ll run next door and ask my mom. I’ll be right back.”
“Mom, can I spend the night at the Laveau’s house?” “Go right ahead, Jon.”
“My mother said that it was ok if I spend the night tonight.” “You can sleep in the girls’ room. Jon, could you do me a favor? Could you and Lindsey carry Jessica upstairs and tuck her into her bed.” “I can do that for you, Mrs. Laveau.” Jon began to tuck Jessica into her bed when she reached her little arms up and wrapped them around his neck. She kissed in the cheek and told him goodnight. He told her goodnight and walked out of the room. He met Lindsey on the stairs. “Jon, could you wait outside while I change clothes for bed? If you brought any clothes to change into, you can use the bathroom. I’ll let you in when I’m finished.” Jon went to the bathroom and waited a couple of minutes before Lindsey let him in. She was wearing a long black night shirt; it looked like a t-shirt that was 2 or 3 times larger than she needed. “Let’s go to bed, Jon. I’m really tired.” Jon and Lindsey climbed into the bed on opposite sides. Lindsey slid into the middle of the bed. “Jon, please put your arms around me. I love you, Jon.” “I love you too, Lindsey.”
Jon woke up in the morning with Lindsey's body lying right on top of him. he didn't want to wake her, so he lay there, and thought about how his life had changed completely in the last two days. Thirty minutes later, Lindsey began to wake up. Jessica woke up and walked over the side of the bed and touched Jon's hand.
"Jonny, are you awake? I want to play now." "Let me try to get out of this bed with out waking up your sister." “You spent all night with Lizzie? I want you to spend the night with me." "Jessica, maybe the next time I spend the night, I'll spend it with you. Ok Jessica, what do you want me to play?" "I want to play dolls. Here's a doll for you and a doll for me." Jon looked down at his hand and looked at the doll. "Jessica, I've never played dolls before, how do you play?" "It's easy, silly. All you have to do is let the dolls change into different outfits. Here, put this one on your doll first." He hesitated at first, but he undressed the doll and dressed it with the dress that Jessica handed to him. Lindsey set up in her bed and began to laugh. "Isn't that cute? Jon is playing with dolls. Are you enjoying yourself?" “I’m just playing with your sister." "I know, honey, don't take me seriously. I've got to get dressed. Do you mind if I change in front of you?" "I don't mind if you don't care. I’ll continue to play with these dolls, while you get dressed." Jon continued to play with the dolls, and Lindsey took off her nightshirt. She walked over to her dresser, wearing nothing but her underwear. She placed an outfit on her bed before putting it on. “What do you think of this outfit, Jon? Do I look good?" "Yes Lindsey, you look great."
"Jessica, let's go and get some breakfast and we will play later, ok." "Ok Lizzie, I want something to eat and maybe we can talk Jonny into staying tonight." “Jessica, would you like for Jon to spend the night with us tonight? I guess you can ask Mom. “Mommy, can Jonny spend the night, please?" "Jessica, I think that is up to Jon and his mother. Just finish your breakfast before it gets cold. "Lindsey, tell me more about Marie Laveau. I'm interested in learning more about her. What is the name of the snake that she is holding in that picture?" “The name of the snake is Li Grand Zombi." Lindsey told Jon more about Marie Laveau. "Let's go up to my room and talk, Jon." Lizzie, could you help me up the stairs?" "Don't worry Lindsey. I've got her." Jon carried Jessica up the stairs and to Lindsey's room." Thanks Jonny. You are so cute. I love ya." "I love you too, Jessica." Jon just smiled and opened the door.
Jon and Lindsey sat on the edge of Lindsey's bed and talked for hours, until it was time to go to bed. “Well Jon, I think we should call it a night. What do you think?" "Yeah, I'm really tired." "Jon, remember that you promised my sister you would spend the night with her." "Are you going to be ok?" "Jon, I'm going to be fine. You just make my little sister happy. She really likes you, Jon. I don't think I've ever seen her play with and act so friendly to anyone else. You're very special. Goodnight, Jon." Jon climbed into Jessica’s bed and wrapped his arms around the little girl. Jessica sighed as his arms closed around her. During the night, Lindsey woke up screaming. Jon got up to get Mrs. Laveau. "Wake up, Mrs. Laveau. Lindsey is screaming and she woke up Jessica." “Don’t worry Jon. I'll be right there. In the meantime, put your arms around Jessica and try to get her back to sleep, I may need your help with Lindsey. This happens every once in a while, and it takes her a long time to recover. She might have to go to the hospital. Last time she has to spend a week in the hospital." “I’ll go check on Jessica." He went back into Lindsey and Jessica's room. Jessica was crying, Jon tried to calm her down and make her go back to sleep. He finally got her back to sleep, and helped Mrs. Laveau take Lindsey downstairs. "Jon, could you help me with Jessica? I might need to be with Lindsey while she is in the hospital." “I’ll help in every way that I can." Jon said. "I'll need you to watch Jessica while I'm gone. She likes you, so I don't think you will have any problems. If you need anything, here's the number of the hospital where I'm taking Lindsey. Just make sure that Jessica is ok, thanks again, Jon." Jon went back upstairs and spent the rest of the night with Jessica. Jessica woke up a couple of time during the night, but he helped her back to sleep.
The next morning Jon had to go talk to his mother about the situation. "Mom, Mrs. Laveau had to take Lindsey to the hospital. Is it ok if Jessica spends some time with us until they return?" "Jessica can stay with us as long as she wants. We will enjoy the company." “Did you hear that, Jessie? You can stay as long as you want." "Thank you, Jonny. We're going to have a lot of fun together. Is it ok if I spend the night in your room?" "Of course you can. You can spend the night with me like you did last night. I'll keep you safe." Jessica wrapped her arms around Jon's waist. "Let's go get your toys, Jessie." Jon and Jessica played in Jon's room for a while. Jon's mother called Jon downstairs to talk on the phone. “Hi Jon. How are you doing? How is Jessica behaving?" "She is doing fine. I'm enjoying having someone to look after. She is a sweet little girl and I enjoy looking after her. How is Lindsey doing?" "Lindsey is doing ok. She should be able to come home in a week or so. Here, she wants to talk to you. I'll put her on the phone."
“Jon, are you there? I'm sorry that I'm putting you through all of this. How is my little sister doing? Is she keeping you busy? Protect her Jon, protect her for me. I'll be back in a week, we will be together again and I'll explain everything to you. “Lindsey, I just want you to get better. I'll do everything I can to protect you and your sister. You're part of my family. I've had fun playing with all of your sister's toys and trying to find ways of keeping her entertained. She is such a smart little girl. I've never met a girl as smart as she is at her age." “Jon, just keep her safe until I get back. Good bye, Jon." Jon went back upstairs. "Who was that on the phone, Jonny? Was it Mommy or Lizzie? Is Lizzie coming home? "Yes, it was. Your sister is coming home sometime next week. It's about suppertime; let's watch some TV before supper." “I like to watch TV, let's go." Jon asked her what she wanted to watch and they started to watch cartoons. Jessica started to lean on Jon's shoulder; He moved and placed her head on his lap. Jessica yawned a couple of times before she fell asleep. "It's time to eat Jon. Jon, wake up and get Jessica up.”
“How was your food, Jessie?” “It was really good, Jonny. I’m really tired. I think I’m going to go to bed.” “Do you need my help to get ready for bed?” “Yeah, can you help me change clothes? Here’s my pajama, could you help me put them on?” Jon helped Jessica into her pajamas and tucked her into bed. “I’ll be right back after I brush my teeth.” Jon climbed into his bed and Jessica whispered goodnight to Jon. Jon returned the whisper. Jessica slid her little body under Jon’s arm and leaned her head on his shoulders, using him as a pillow. Her face stretched into a smile.
In the morning, Jon woke up and realized that Jessica wasn’t in the bed. Jon went through the house and found her laying on the couch in the living room. “Are you ok, Jessica? Is something wrong?” “No, I just woke up early and I wanted to watch some television, I’m sorry that I worried you.” “Don’t worry about it; I was just making sure that you were alright.” “Do you know the last time the snake in your basement got fed? What do you usually feed it?” “I don’t know when he was fed last, but my mom keeps a cage of mice to feed him in her room. Let’s go feed him.”
“Speaking of eating, let’s go get some food for ourselves. I need to clean my room after we are done eating.” Jon finished his room in the afternoon. Jon’s mom fixed them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and they had dinner and got ready for bed. The rest of the weekend went without any problems. Lindsey returned on the weekend, but Jon’s mother became very ill and had to be taken to the hospital. Jon went to stay with the Laveau’s for the summer while his mother was sick.
The years that followed until they graduated high school saw Jon and Lindsey’s family grow together and with high school behind them, Jon and Lindsey decided to get married.
“Jessica, where is my dress? I can’t find it anywhere.” “Did you look in the downstairs closet? I think that is where mom put it. When you do find it, bring it up here, I still have to work on your hair. Hurry Lindsey, it’s almost time for the ceremony to begin. I’m glad that we are holding the wedding in our yard. It’s fitting that the place that you and Jon meet is the place where you are getting married.” “I found it. I’ll be upstairs in a minute. I’m going to check on everything in the kitchen. Mom, is the food ready?” “Yes, the food is ready, but you are not ready, little girl. Get upstairs and get that dress on. The ceremony will start in 5 minutes.
“That was a great ceremony, wasn’t it Frank?” Mrs. Laveau said. “Yes, it was. It reminded me a lot of our wedding. I need to get the tables out, so we can eat.”
“Jonny, may I have this dance? Wow, this is really weird. For the longest time you were always like a member of our family and now you are a member. You’re my brother in law. I love you, Jonny.” “I love you, Jess. Let’s dance. You have grown a lot since I first met you. I remember when you used to hang on me and want me to carry you around. I remember tucking you into bed and playing dolls with you.” “Yeah, I remember that, I was a real pain in the butt.” “Don’t worry about it, I enjoyed it. You were like a little sister to me. I would do anything for you. I liked taking care of you. After this dance, we should get something to eat. I think you should congratulate your sister, too.”
“Lindsey, I’m so happy for you. My big sister has gotten married. I know you would eventually marry Jonny and maybe you could have some children, so I can take care of them.” “I don’t know about having children, but I think Jon and I would be good parents. I wouldn’t expect any children soon.”
It was a year before Jon and Lindsey had a child. Her name was Angela Marie Stevens. She was the spitting image of Lindsey, with a small frame and black hair. Jon and Lindsey were so happy, and Jessica was happy too, because she got to take care of her when they needed a break.
“I have to go to work, Jon. I’ll drop Angela by Mom and Dad’s house. I’ll see you later, honey.” “You take care, dear. Drive safe.” On her way to work, Lindsey was involved in an auto accident. She was killed in the crash. Lindsey’s family was informed of Lindsey’s death first, they told Jessica that she should be the one to tell Jon about Lindsey. Jessica didn’t want to tell Jon about Lindsey, but she thought that it would be easier if Jon heard it from her, than from someone else.
“Jon, it’s Jessica, I have some bad news.” “What is it, Jess? What’s wrong? Is the baby ok” “Jon, the baby is fine. The news is about Lindsey. She was driving to work and she was hit by another car. I was killed instantly. There was nothing that the doctors or anyone else could do. Jon. I’m so sorry. Is there anything you want me to do?” “I don’t believe it. I just told hear to be safe. I’m leaving work now; I’ll be there in a little while. Could you make sure that the baby is ready to go, Jess?”
“Hi, Jonny, are you ok?” “I’m not sure. This is all happening so fast. Everything hasn’t soaked in yet, I just want to go home and think about it there. I just lost the woman that I loved more than anything in the world, and I have a baby to take care of. I’m not sure how I’m going to do all of this. I think I’m going to need some help.” “I’ll be here to help you, Jonny. I’ll take care of Angela; you need to be at work, making money to support her.” “Thanks Jess. I’m going home. Is the baby ready to go?” “Yeah, she’s ready. Jonny, if you need to talk, I’ll be here for you.”
Jon spent the rest of the night, sitting in his room, sitting on his bed, crying. He had never been so lonely in a long time. He didn’t know how he was going to learn to live without Lindsey. For the next week, Jon couldn’t sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the sight of Lindsey’s car getting hit and her screaming for him to help her.
Jon knew that he needed to get help, so he went to the doctor and he prescribed sleeping pills for Jon to take. Jon finally was able to get some sleep, but Angela kept waking up in the middle of the night, so he had to spend the night taking care of her. Jon needed a break. He talked to Jessica and Mr. and Mrs. Laveau about taking care of Angela for a week while Jon went on vacation. “No problem. We would love to take care of Angela for you. You take all the time you need, I know this last month has been tough on you, enjoy your vacation.”
Jon enjoyed his vacation, but he had a dream, but it wasn’t about Lindsey this time. It was about the nurse at the doctor’s office. Her name was Sara Richards. She was probably 23 or 24 year old, and she had long brown hair. Jon spent the next couple months trying to work up the courage to ask her out. She finally said yes a couple months later.
They spent the next couple years going out, and Sara was getting attached to Angela. It was only a matter of time before Jon and Sara were married. The Laveau’s had moved out of the state, but all of Jon and Sara’s friends attended the wedding.
“Jon, could you help me with these boxes? Jon, honey, are you ok? What is wrong?” Jon was lying flat on the floor of the bedroom. He wasn’t breathing and he looked very pale, but Sara was able to revive him. “What happened?” “I don’t know what happened. I was just walking to the bathroom, and I started seeing these things, visions flashing before my eyes. They were of my deceased wife Lindsey. She was killed about 4 years ago, we were childhood sweethearts. I heard her voice during the visions, she was talking to me, and she was telling me that she was coming back for her daughter. I need some time to rest and figure this whole thing out.”
“Jon, wake up. You’re going to be late for work. Jon, there is something that I need to tell you. I’m pregnant”
The next 9 months were like nothing that Jon and Sara had ever experienced before. The visions became stronger and Jon had finally had enough of them. He decided he was going to face Lindsey, he didn’t know what was going to happen, but he knew that he had to do this.
“I’m taking Angela to Lindsey’s grave with me. Honey, I have to do this, it has to end now. You take care of the baby and yourself, don’t worry about me.”
Jon loaded Angela into the car and headed to the cemetery. They stopped at the gate of the cemetery, and then they walked into the cemetery holding hands, as they approached Lindsey’s grave. The closer they got to the grave, there was electricity flowing through the outer gates of the cemetery.
“Lindsey, are you there? It’s Jon, I brought Angela with me. I want you to stop bothering me and my family. I’m sorry about all of this, but this has to stop.” Suddenly, there was movement from the grave, and the gates of the cemetery shot bolts of electricity into Jon’s chest. His body began to jerk and contort, as the electricity ripped through him. The ground around the tombstone opened up and Lindsey climbed out of the grave and started to talk to Angela.
“Hello, my angel, its good for you to finally be home. I love you, Angela.”
“I love you too, Mommy. I’m glad to be home”
“Don’t worry about your father, he will be back soon.”
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It seems oddly abrupt, but these are little kids and you've shown Lindsey to be pretty strange already. But then . . . are these parents insane?! You haven't told us the age of these two kids, but even if they are far younger than teenagers, you've implied certain semi-sexual things about them that come across as extremely bizarre. A boy and girl sleep together--quite close together--and no parents think this is strange? Lindsey's parents even SUGGEST that the two sleep together! If the kids were five or something, this wouldn't seem out of place, but I get the feeling they are at least eight. If it weren't for the details--Lindsey rolling on top of Jon, and later undressing in front of him down to her underwear--I would have found this a sign of the innocence of their relationship, but as you've written it, I think any reader would pick up certain sexual implications. This is interesting and energetic, but should be explained somehow--are Lindsey's parents wierd enough not to think this relationship is strange? Why is Lindsey odd enough to want to sleep with and undress in front of Jon? If you intend to make use of these extremely bizarre occurrences, you should make them seem more realistic through a more careful exploration of the characters. Another strange detail has to do with the snake--why do you include the bit about the snake and the family's history? It seems kind of thrown in there. I think you're trying to suggest that because Lindey is from this strange background, she becomes a ghost. However, this connection is not made, and when the story finally develops into a ghost story, most readers will be lost. The final lines of the story are also too confusing. Overall, more explanation is needed.
