WritingForums.com - Writing Forums, Writing Challenges, Critiques and Help for Writers Home Rules FAQ Members Groups Calendar Gallery Search
» Sign Up «

Hello Unregistered,
It looks you have never posted to our site before! Why not make your first post today by saying hello to our community in our Introduce Yourself forum. Why not start with your first post today and become an active part of our growing community of writers!
  Search Forums
Lit.Org - Bootcamp for writers. Post your work and other writers review it, it's that easy.

Advanced Search



Go Back   Writing Forums > Creativity > Critique and Advice
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Critique and Advice Works seeking critique, advice or assistance.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-04-2004, 07:24 PM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 23
Needtoimprovemywriting
Help needed

Im in need of help, i need to analyze this poem

Station

We are saying goodbye
on the platform. in silence
the huge train waits, crowding the station
with aftermath and longing
and all we've never said
to one another. he
shoulders his black bag and shifts
from foot to foot, restless to be off, his eyes
wandering over tinted windows where he'll sit
staring out at the Hudson's platinum dazzle

I want to tell him he's entering into the light
of the world, but it feels like a long tunnel
as he leaves, one home, one parent
for a nother
and we both know it wont ever be the same again
what is the air at, heaping between us, then thinning to nothing?
or those slategrey birds that croon to themselves in an iron angle, then take flight, inscribing huge loops of effortless grace between this station of shade and the shining water.

when our cheeks rest glancing against each other
i can feel mine scratchy with beard and stubble, his
not quite smooth as a girl's, harder, a faint fuzz
starting- those silken beginnings i can see
when the light is right, his next life
in bright first touches. what ails our heart? mine
aching in vain for the words
to make sense of our life together, his
fluttering in dread
of my finding the words, feathered syllables
fidgetiing in his throat

In a sudden rush of bodies and announcements out of the air, he says
he's got to be going, one quick touch
and he's gone. in a minute
the train -ghostly faces behind smoked glass-
groans away on wheels and shackles, a slow glide
i walk beside, waving at what i can see no longer. later, on his own in the city,
he'll enter the underground and cross the river, going home to his mother's house. imagine that white face carried along in the dark glass, shining thorough shadows that fill the window and fall away again
before we're even able to name them

Here are the questions:
1. In paragraph form and with references to the poem, discuss the poet's use of contrast between light and dark to illustrate the father's mixed feelings..

2. in paragraph and with reference to the poem, explain what the train symbolizes


Well i really do need help, so please can you help me?

If you were to write this on the other hand, how would you right it so that it has pizzaz and so that it is concise?
Needtoimprovemywriting is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2004, 08:32 PM   #2
Wordsmith
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: wherever I wish it to be
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,487
thamior is an unknown quantity at this point
Send a message via AIM to thamior Send a message via MSN to thamior Send a message via Skype™ to thamior
woah settle down you have like 3 posts. i'll be glad to help but Ican't if i'm flooded with posts .
Edit:
I read it i'm not very good with poems ack sorry
__________________

Dark and Shattered Lands
thamior is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2004, 10:24 PM   #3
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 23
Needtoimprovemywriting
hahaha
its all good
thanks though
Needtoimprovemywriting is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2004, 05:03 PM   #4
Addict
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Brooklyn, New York
Posts: 150
DL Ferguson
Send a message via AIM to DL Ferguson
Why don't you do your own homework?
DL Ferguson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2004, 08:02 AM   #5
Prolific Writer
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NJ
Posts: 249
Kermie04
Send a message via AIM to Kermie04
DL Ferguson,

They are doing their own hw. They are just coming here for help. If you don't want to help them, don't repley to the post.

NTIMW:

I am sorry, I am very poor at interpreting poems, and unfortunatly am unable to help you with this. If you want, I can bring it to a friend who is incredible at this sort of stuff, but I don't know if that is okay with you, as they are not part of this board. Let me know though, and I will be happy to help you!
__________________
Love,
Kermie04
Kermie04 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2004, 03:24 PM   #6
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 23
Needtoimprovemywriting
thanks kerme
I would very much like that.

Needtoimprovemywriting is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2004, 07:11 PM   #7
Prolific Writer
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NJ
Posts: 249
Kermie04
Send a message via AIM to Kermie04
okay, no problem. I think I am seeing this friend some time this evening; if not tomorrow. When does this need to be in by so I can make sure that I don't make this assignment late.
__________________
Love,
Kermie04
Kermie04 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2004, 08:37 PM   #8
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 23
Needtoimprovemywriting
by tuesday
btw, thanks alot kerme!
Needtoimprovemywriting is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:14 PM.
Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0


 
You are NOT Logged In.
User Name:

Password




Related Links

Link to Us:
Writing Forums - Discussions for Writers