justmitina

Most of the time we sit though life wondering what could happen or what will happen, and most of the time nothing does happen. Until the one thing in our lives comes and scares us letting us know that there really is no way out. We claw and dig until our fingers bleed, then there is that one final breath where we know we can’t get out. The one final tear hits the floor and the life blood which once coursed through our bodies is now gone. Gone to wonder with all the other souls whom are trapped just asking for a way out. People stand by and watch as you scream, but you know that all they can do is watch. Anything else would just be uncalled for. Then finally all the smoke clears and all that is left is bodies. Blood runs like a river through the streets, unkowing civilians sit by and cry watching their fellow man die.
Could this possibly be the American way……


Slowly the sun sets over the horizon of the over populated New York City, people run in every direction like little ants looking for a place of comfort or a place make money. As minutes pass the business people of the concrete jungle begin to disappear for the night ready to begin a new day. Right along with the vanishing of the sane world the challenged part of the city comes alive. Prostitutes line the street wear sking tight mini skirts and see through shirts just waiting to find a eager old man with money. Drug dealers hide down the alleys looking to make a quick sale so they to can feed their families of put another child in the morgue from over dosing on to mant addictive drugs. Cautiously police patrol the city streets trying to keep innocent people alive, but there is always the chance of failing, and failing can never make a cop feel to excited about their job.



It is just something i started and i wanted to get some thoughts on it. I know there are some typos just over look them and tell what you think of the story.

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Nothing ever really matters in the end....

faking_sanity

what i got is that this will be a cop story and how he/she try to copes with a crumbling world, a reflection on society...i like the first paragraph, it really sets the mood, the atomsphere for the story...whoops if i'm completely wrong...

the way you wrote---i think that's a good transition to the second paragraph

in the second paragraph, is there a better way of describing this urban landscape--i mean...i know concrete jungle is a great description, but so many stories use it, but that's just a little quip of mine...the rest of it really describes new york to me, a bleek cold place...really grungy...

i don't know if that helps you any, but thats what i got from it and those are my thoughts and opinions and what not--would love to read more

justmitina

Thanks Faking i am glad to hear the positive comments. You know the funny part is that that is all i have written of the story. I got caught, but you know if i think on it more and let the music i listen to speak for me i know it will come together. Any way you were close about the cop story. I am actually doing someting quite unique to myself but yet very time consuming.
I am sure most people will wonder why i am doing this but i want to do it for myself. The story is actually based on 9-11. Yeah alot of people are doing it i know. The thing i want to do is see how my characters that i have created deal with it. How it changes their lives in many ways. Yeah it will be a tear jerker for me because i feel like i am putting my own kids through a type of hell. Not sure how unique this will, but it will be cool.

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Nothing ever really matters in the end....