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Addict
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Australia, the Sunshine State
Posts: 174
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novel extract
This is a short extract from my novel. It is the second sene set with these characters in this place, the first sene introduced Targ as a doctor (scholar) and his presenting information to the King and suggesting that Annioalesiea be found. it also introduces some of the problems in the realm, trouble, fighting, extended winter. this sene is when Targ is looking for more information of how to find Annioalesiea. I have also tried to incorporate a lot of history into this, but am unsure of how natural it seems.
Any help would be appreciated.
***
Targ searched through the box. Surely, Surely, the keys had to be here somewhere. Just as he was starting to become worried, Targ found a small leather pouch in the corner of the box. He opened it, and inside were three keys. The biggest Key was the Key to Doctor Gou-Gen’s private study. Targ had not entered it since his master’s death. He tied the pouch onto his belt and headed off to his masters study.
It felt strange to walk down the corridor again. When he reached the study, Targ couldn’t help smiling at the beaten copper plaque on the door. It read:
‘This is the private study of
Doctor Gou-Gen
It is off limits to all without the owners permission,
that extends to inquisitive young apprentices who
would find themselves in big trouble if they were
to be found within these premises without my prior permission.’
Strangely, the plaque had been erected a week after Targ became apprentice to Gou-Gen. Targ took the key out of the pouch, turned it in the lock, and opened the door. The familiar scent of oldness was strong in the study; perhaps being left undisturbed for 2 months had increased that. And the room was old, old books, old papers, old instruments, and old floorboards. Even the desk was old. Targ shut the door and wondered around for a short time. The study, after all, was rightfully his. It was much bigger than his, and had much better lighting. The smell of oldness could probably be dealt to, and Doctor Gou-Gen wouldn’t have wanted it to lie empty. And anyway, Targ wasn’t an inquisitive young apprentice any more, was he? Had his good King not stood up for him at council, and called him Doctor Targ?
Targ started scanning the shelves of the large bookcase in what he had just decided was his study. Then a large book on the left hand of the top shelf caught his eye. Targ moved the small ladder and climbed up it carefully and retrieved the book. It was very thick, and very heavy. Targ put it on the desk and sat down to examine it.
The book had been carefully bound in some sort of red/brown leather. Targ blew the dust of the cover and, with some difficulty, read:
‘The journal of
Doctor Tai-Gie-Pie
1566MK-24LK
Of the Ta-Lie-Sie-Sing, Kahildren
and Machjackien Wars,
The Crossing of the Great Sea
The Karlandish, Stomarten and Kinaian wars
And the discovery of the people
Of Annioalesiea.’
Tai-Gie-Pie! 1566 MK! This must be the journal of the Great Doctor Tai-Gie-Pie, wisest of all. He had grown up in the Lost Lands across the sea, stories of which had now passed into ledged. He had traveled over the sea with Old King Kar-Kie, who brought his people over from the Lost Lands. Stories told that his people had all but died out due to terrible, terrible wars and famine. King Kar-Kie had hoped that the ‘New Land’, now named the Karlands, would support his people and bring peace to them. Targ marveled that such a book could survive, and that it had been kept secret all these years! He carefully opened the book, and as he did so, a slip of paper fell out. Surprised, Targ picked it up. Targ immediately recognized his old masters hand. It read:
Mid Winters Day Eve,
Year 1010 of the Crossing of the Great Sea.
My Dearest Assistant and Apprentice, Targ,
If you are reading this, then my worst fears are confirmed, and I am dead.
Do not be fooled, I did not, or will not, as the case may be, die of natural causes.
There are strong forces at work in the world, my lad, and the forces of evil are growing stronger and stronger as each day passes.
We are falling into bad times now.
The tides of the world pull people in strange directions.
A war is coming, and you will find yourself with strange allies.
You must learn to trust them.
Only the strongest army of good and love can hope to overturn the evil shadow which is falling on us all, and even a small child can do great things and change the course of the world for good, or for evil.
Be careful of whom you trust.
Find Annioalesiea.
Doctor Gou-Gen
A letter for him! From his master! From the doctor! Targ found it hard to believe. What did he mean ‘did not die of natural causes’……… And why leave the letter in this book? How did he know that Targ would look for help in the book? Did he really know that bad times were approaching? Targ sat back to think. Did his old master, know what was happening to them now and why, even before all this started?
‘Ah……… but when did all this really start.’ Said a nasty little voice in his head.
Targ blinked, shook his head and turned to the first page in the Journal.
‘First day of The New Year, 1566
I have started this Journal as some record needs to be kept, and almost everyone else is either dead or dieing. These are bad times we are in now, and the world around us is changing. All thought fortune had turned for the better; we finally made an advance on the Kahildren forces. There were plans for the Machjackiens and us to join forces and together take out the main Kahildren camp, us from the north and east, the Machjackiens from the south and west; thus making the pressure of the Kahildren forces on our border less and delivering a hard and mighty blow to our enemy. But then the most dreadful thing happened. Our plan backfired on us and we were betrayed. The Machjackiens, curse them, had warned the Kahildren camp of the plan and arrived early. We were ambushed! Kahildren and Machjackien alike shot arrow after arrow at our men. There was no option but to retreat. Our men turned and fled. But more treachery was yet to come! More forces were hidden in the trees and charged down on our men from the opposite side! Crushed between the long swords of the Kahildren and the bows of the Machjackien nearly all of our men were slaughtered! Only one lived and returned to tell the tail. He half walked, half dragged himself back to Ta-Lie-Sie-Sing. He died soon after giving us his news. I could do nothing for him, and he had nothing now to live for.’
Targ stopped reading. Ta-Lie-Sie-Sing? Oh! Of course! Ta-Lie-Sie-Sing was the name of the Karlandish city in the Lost Lands. But this was not where he wanted to be reading. Later, when he had some time to his own, if he ever had some time to his own, then he would read this. But for now he wanted to read about the Karlandish, Stomarten and Kinaian wars. Those took place after King Kar-Kie and the other Karlanders had come to the ‘New Land’- the Karlands. Targ flipped through the Journal, trying not to stop and read about the lost land, until he found an entry written in the Karlands.
‘The 18th Day of the Third Month, Year Two since the Crossing of The Great Sea.
The strangest thing happened to me today. I had wandered from the castle into the woods, so as to have some quiet time to myself. I was sitting on a most comfortable and obliging tree stump, staring into the thick scrub, when I found some eyes were staring back at me! As you can imagine, I was most astounded, for, even in this strange new land, the bushes do not have eyes. I gave a small yelp and sat up. I blinked my eyes, but there they were, two large, golden eyes.
‘Surely these must be owl eyes!’ I said to my self ‘but they can not be, for an owl would have been scared away when I shouted, and any way, it is the day time. Owls are creatures of the night.’ On closer inspection, I saw the eyes belonged to a face, and the face to a body. It was a boy. Perhaps in his 13th year. He had light brown hair, almost that strange yellowy colour of so many of the Kinaia’s hair. His hair fell to just below his shoulders. He wore a band of red, brown and white leather platted and knotted around his forehead and his upper left arm. He wore tatted breeches, a shirt and a kind of kilt made out of a mixture of wool and animal skin. He looked more than half wild! I hoped it was animal skin, as I saw for the first time a bow and a large quiver of arrows at his back and a short sword hanging from his belt. He said something in a language I did not recognize. I replied in Ta-Lie, or I should say Karlandish. We moved through several languages until we got to Kinaian.
‘Who are you?’ I asked him
‘Vort’ze, son of Mat’aia’a’ he said ‘und ar yoo da won ho day kall Doc’a’tor Tay’gee’pi?’ he asked, his obscure accent making my own name almost unrecognizable. I told him that I was. He told me that someone called Annioalesiea wanted to see me and he would take me to someone. It was hard to tell through his accent, but is seemed like he wasn’t taking me to this Annioalesiea person. I was right. An hour later, I was deep in the woods being introduced to a young man of sixteen years called Cellolapraphoreeus. I whished he had said it more slowly. All I could remember was Cellolap………. Seeing my horrified face the young man laughed and told me to call him Cello. I was happy with that. He told me that Annioalesiea whished to see me and that I had been invited to one of their ‘Great Cities’, his city in fact. He called it Centaurulapafor. His own city! Was this young man Cello some kind of Prince or King? He then told me that he was one of the Ten Creators. Creator? Did that mean some kind of God? I was most puzzled, but decided that it would be impolite to ask, so I remained silent.’
‘Ahhhhhhhhhhh’ said Targ to himself. ‘I’m finally getting somewhere.’ He carried on reading.
‘Cello told me that it was a ‘fair step’ to his city, and then told me that I would be away for about two months. (What is his idea of a fair steep? I thought he meant a week or two!) He also told me to pack clothing, and any ‘writing and doctory’ things I might need, and to leave the food and equipment to him. This Cello certainly speaks casually for such a noble person!’
Targ had to laugh. ‘Writing and doctory things’ sounded like something he would say. Targ continued, would the good Doctor Tai-Gie-Pie revel the way to the city? To the people of Annioalesiea?
‘The 25th Day of the Third Month, Year Two since the Crossing of The Great Sea.
Cello and I finally left today. I have spent the last week packing for the trip! I started out with enthusiasm, but was glad to stop soon before sun set. Today was my first time on a horse. Cello just laughed when I told him this and told me that if I had told him earlier he would have organized for a ladies carriage to take me the way. I think he was joking though.
The first day of the fourth month, Year Two since the Crossing of The Great Sea.
We have been traveling approximately West for the last week. But Cello has asked me not to write anything about our journey that could help someone find the city. They have been hidden for a long time, so Cello says, and his people want to keep it that way.’
Targ cursed. He cursed so bad that had his master been around to hear him, he would have given him a stern telling off. He scanned through the section of the book telling about the Doctors journey to and from the city, and his time spent in the city. Nothing. Only the reference to West. The Doctor also said something about Cello saying it would take longer as he was the first person who was not a people of Annioalesiea to go to one of her cities in a long time.
‘Well, that was helpful’ Targ said bitterly to himself. He slammed the book shut and stormed angrily out of Doctor Gou Gen’s study, not looking where he was going, until he bumped against something solid and landed on the ground with a bump. Targ looked up to see what he had bumped into, and there stood…
“King Ki-Tut!” Targ cried “oh dear, oh dear, my deepest apologies…” he said as he struggled to climb to his feet and bow at the same time. To Targ’s greatest surprise the king just laughed and helped him to his feet.
“No no” King Ki-Tut said. “It is quite all right. I was looking for you any way. I wanted to ask how much further you had got, have you had bad news?” he asked
“Yes my good King” Targ answered “or more to the point, a great disappointment”.
“Ah” said the King “then let us walk together in the grounds and you can tell me about it.
So Targ told his Good King about the marvelous book he had found, and what he has read.
‘Amazing!” King Ki-Tut said when Targ had told the tale. “The journal of Doctor Tai-Gie-Pie. I never knew that your master had such a book in his possession.”
“Neither did I, my good King” Targ confessed. “My masters study was strictly off limits to me when he was alive, and since then…well… I’ve never really had cause to go in”
The King laughed, “Doctor Gou-Gen’s threat still stands the test of time” he said with a wink. “But I think your old master wouldn’t mind you using his study now”
‘I know” said Targ “I was thinking the exact thing myself not half an hour ago.”
“Hmmmmm………..” King Ki-Tut muttered, “so no clues were given to the location of this great city?” he asked
“No.” Targ answered sadly. “Only that Doctor Tai-Gie-Pie traveled west for some weeks.” There was a long pause, which was finally broken by King Ki-Tut when he said
“Do you know what I think, Doctor Targ?”
Targ looked up at the king, who was a good deal taller than he was
“What, My King?” he asked
“I think it is time for you to go on a journey.” the king answered “A long journey. A journey west.”
__________________
)0( I do not understand,
For all the good that I do,
All the love that I give,
I am judged, hated, hurt,
For the name of my religion,
And a star upon my breast. )0(
Tiro narn nîn
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Now post the rest of the book 
