Inquisitor

I'm sort of a new to this forum, so I posted all nine until now written chapters of this story under fiction section. As far as moderators go, if this is considered double posting, I will erase that post. I would like however, for my work to be criticized, so I posted some chapters here. I know a text of 10.000 words can seem a bit intimidating to read whole, so here are only first three chapters. I'd be glad if you could write an opinion on this writing. If any of you would like to see more or this or consider necessary to take a look at some more in an attempt to make a better critique, I'll post more.


The lost girl

1.
Portal had shut himself, buzzing and hissing. Runes faded from the air. He had entered the world.
"I had found you at last," said the demon.
"Noooo!" she screamed.
"I had found you at last Child, and now, I can take you back."
He extended his muscular hand as an offer to little girl and as a firm demand. There was no softness in his eyes, more of an expectation, slight shiver of anticipation. Behind there was cold soul of metal.
"Back!?!" She screamed.
"That is not - back!" She said and pointed to empty barrens behind him, where the portal stood moments ago.
"Your world never was my home."
"But it is now," his deep, gurgly voice said. She disgusted it. The voice. The sound of words, hissing between his spike-like teeth, of the way, his voice sounded within her head. He was a daemon lord. Very strong one. There were many Runes about his Word, let alone his entire body.
"But . . . it wasn't!" She almost cried.
"I never wanted this . . ." she would spread her hands and look upon her immature body, this . . . eternal youth."
"But you wanted it once, did you not?" His voice echoed in her head.
"It was all well once . . ."
"I did not know!" She screamed.
"I had no idea . . . ! Dad . . . Dad was there. . ."
"Dad Was there, wasn't he"? He said in mockery, his mouth salivating, so his words furthermore gained additional gushy tone to it.
"Yeeeeeeees. . . he waaaaasssss. . ." He grinned evilly. Her dad was dead. There was no one for her. No one but him. He grinned.
Tears ran down her cheeks.
"Now there, Child. Come to papa. Come to daddy" he said and extended all four muscular hands of his, those same hands which choked life out of so many little girls, slaves from Fringe worlds. When he grinned, his plump lips revealed two lines of healthy blue-white shark-like teeth, made for tearing tender flesh of untainted.
Come.
She cried. And while crying, she hugged him. Her small, childish body almost disappeared under vast corpus of centaur - like gray skinned, furless daemon. They were back together again.

And within his tall palace, there was another dose of white powder with her name on it.

She was daddy's girl no more . . .

But what daemon did not know, was that this Arika was not his Arika. In fact, child he stole from Daggor Earth seven thousand years ago, was still outside in Fringe worlds, thrilled over the success of her plot, which managed to exchange her with this unknown girl. She was free again, at least for a while.

2.
Ezru Manor Ragh leaped backward, his four hoofed feet crashing into firm ground with ferociousness of a genuine Inner Kath demon. He swinged his six feet long double schyte just in time to block Of's attack. Another blow toward his lower belly almost hit its target, but another blade of Ezru's other double warschyte deflected it also. He roared fiercely, both in anxiety and rage and pushed Blademaster brutally into the air, trying to throw him far away, on the other side of sandy, circular battleground. But thin-limbed creature only gave a few feet.
Quickly, new attacks of four enraged blades in four different hands, grown to a single slim body rained on Ezru.
He got really mad now.
Best he could, he deflected attacks with his left hand, while extending right one far behind his back, over the back of his centaur-like body. His thick tail was wiggling angrily. Another clash of blades and he thrusted the weapon in his right hand with all power of his bulky body. If it were the like of him, who stood against Ezru, enemy would be dead for sure.
Of took the punch.
He took it right under his chest and was seemingly thrown off the balance, into the ground, a few feet away from muscular, four legged creature with four handed torso of a human grown on it, where the head should be.
Right after Ezru roared in annoyance, raising to his back feet, sending his right double schyte to the ground with immense anger of an enraged beast. Thrust was so strong, it seemed for a moment, the blade will break, stuck deeply into the ground, but swinging of a lenient metal reduced eventually.

"That was stupid" sound said. It was a sound of dry sand, scratching on metal, sound of hundreds of Sunyears of experience, sound of Greater Blademaster, Of.
Ezru's eyes still burned in anger. He was staring bluntly into brown dust of battleground.
Of helped himself back to his feet. He was tall, very, very tall. His limbs were long as of a spider, brown skinned and almost as thin than those of Lesser one's, humans. His face was long, extended, with small mouth, nose and eyes, shut into two small lids, which revealed no feelings of Blademaster. But he was angry now. His voice revealed that.
"That was stupid" he said again.
Ezru was still stubbornly staring out into the open.
"I know" he said with his gurgly, deep voice. All of a sudden it was difficult for him to swallow. He was ashamed. He was fooled like a little kid.
"I did not need to take that blow. But I did. I did it to show you, how useless it was in its essence. Warschyte has no blade on its handle. Swinging it like a boxer serves to no purpose."
He knew. He, KNEW damn it! Once again his demon blood got the better of him. Against experienced master of Blade, like Of, he would have died. Moreover, he would have been humiliated.
Suddenly, on their right, glimmering and folding into itself, a portal appeared. It was black and small, the one Servants used.
Ezru looked toward the portal with bored expression on his face. He was not supposed to be bothered during Practice. From circular shape, a small man emerged, He had small body of a child and big, cute head with dark pink, spiky hair. His eyes were large, like deep black lakes.
Lins, the Servants all seemed alike to Ezru, Lesser master.
A silent whisper came from Servant's mouth, a sound so thin, human would not understand what he was saying. But daemons, Children of Dark Bull had many Gifts. Ezru could hear him just fine.
Also, whisper was a proper approach to Fortmaster, as manners demanded. Ezru frowned. It was the Moth-man. One of the feeble little creatures, parasites. He did not like the idea of him visiting him now. But two things outweighed Moth's insignificance. His name was Ariel and he had some interesting friends in his world. Also, he was not a common Moth. There was a funny curse about him, something that intrigued Ezru ever since. He nodded to the servant.
"This will be all for today, Blademaster Of", he said. Tall shape nodded, picked up a crystal from behind a nearby rock and formed a tall red portal in front of him. He had returned three of four of his blades into sheaths on his back, while one he always carried in his lower left hand. He disappeared trough the portal.
Moment later, on the other side of sandy circle, new portal appeared. It was blue and tall enough for human shaped creature, entering now.
Ezru grinned at the sight of him, but it was more he barred his teeth than smiled. Moth men were so funny in normal worlds. They looked dark, like some clumsy artist was constantly trying to draw them with charcoal, but never quite managed to finish it completely. Their movement was also jumpy, as at a movie, projected with too small frame rate. Then again, that was only when he had been looking with his Eye, another gift of the Dark bull to his Children.
Just peering at the Moth man, he saw there a young man in his early thirties, a man of a firm and decisive look in long raincoat.
"How's it been, moth man, har har?" he said, mocking.
Ariel was often feared in his puny little world, but here was no more then what his name described - a moth to be burned in flames of greater powers. His look was even sterner now and he seemed not amused by Ezru's comment.
"I came to ask you a favor," he said.
"A favor?" Ezru said and leaned forward. Being eight feet tall, and including his massive body, the gest turned out as obvious mockery to man in raincoat.
"And what would this favor be, Moth man? What is so . . . greatly important, you dare to disturb Master Ezru at his Blade practices?" he said.
"You had to be . . . persistent for my Servants to let you trough. . . I'll need to speak to them later."
"You keep your servants as you will, " Ariel said ", but aid me, in my hour of need."
"And what for little man?"
"What for?" daemon said.
"My friend got lost. She was taken from Earth to Scorched worlds. And you are a Scorched world's . . . being, are you not?"
"Har, har! Har, indeed!" Ezru replied "You expect me . . . to go back? Whaaaaat for, Moth man? I have it all. There is nothing you can do and I can't, so you have nothing to offer. I am an owner of seven Fortresses. I have hundreds of warriors, and thousands of slaves from Fringe worlds. I have had five from yours" he grinned evilly at that "and enjoyed them, enjoyed them , indeed."
"Why would I follow you?"
"Because you can name any price" Ariel said. He also tried for his voice to remain relaxed. He hated diminishing sound of "Moth man".
"Any price? Har . . . Moth promises to daemon Lord . . . What can you offer, little man?"
"What do you want?"
Ezru started to rub highest of his chins. He had three fat chins under his yaw, but his body was no less muscular for that.
"Brave you are, little man . . ." he said, deeply into his thoughts "Maybe you could be of use . . ."
"What is it exactly, I should do for you in this . . . matter?"
"My friend was taken from her homeworld. She was my friend. She is . . . "
"Is she a human?" Ezru interrupted.
"Of course . . ."
"HAR! You have nothing to ask of me, then, my friend. She is lost for you."
"No! What do you mean?"
"I really do not have the time to explain . . . social circumstances . . .of Kath worlds to every Moth man I meet, but . . . You see, little man, women and children from your world are, should we say . . . highly praised in worlds of Kath. They are soft, and fuzzy, like little creatures, which squeak when you walk over them." He grinned evilly at a shadow of worry on Ariel's face.
"Most just like to rape them. They have fighting spirit and are firm, also they breed good children for next few generations. But some just like to torture them. Those, most powerful, who can afford it, to waste such . . . treasure. Days of screaming and agony, twitching of young flesh, trickling of sweat, produced merely by prime fear . . . these are things, in which Kath daemons indulge in with most pleasure. I have no such . . . privileges. . . .with my meager seven fortresses. . .
Anyway . . . If she disappeared onto Kath worlds, she is eider dead - there are quite few vultures in all those sands and rocks, or she is being sold as we speak, to some Kath Greater master. Especially, if she is pretty, . . . fragile and slim."
Ariel clenched his fists with anger. He had no idea Venice had disappeared to such a place. He was a vampire all right and a strong one in his community, aligned with oddest of allies, but this . . . this seemed way over his head. Still, he worked with her a long time. And there was more then that. In time, his feelings toward her changed . . .
"What is your price?" he finally said.
"My price?" daemon grinned.
"I'll tell you my price in three Earth-days time. I should conjure something special for this one. . . But as you will soon see, there is nothin you could achieve and I couldn't. See you, Moth man." He turned and walked away from Ariel. He swung in front of him with his right hand - he still held double schyte in his left - and red portal appeared in front of him. He took another look at Ariel and moved on.
Tall man in black raincoat stood in burned fields of rocks and stones all alone now. His head was bowed. Rescuing Veny seemed further and further.

3.
Ariel.
It's been so long since anyone called him anything but that. In time, even he himself forgot who he was. And now, he got lost.
Oh, he had his part of the pyre. Revolutions, uprisings, times of turmoil and bloodshed, when his kin could slaughter humans at will and with no prejudice. . . He had his part of cruel schemes by means of which vampires would entertain themselves. And before that, roaming the lands . . . Spain, France, England, especially London - he liked that place a lot in his time - then Bulgaria, Romania, and cities of frozen North . . . a few decades in China, and finally, in 1866 New World. US of A. That still were the Old times.
When he was not yet cursed.
Or was it a blessing? He did not know. He only knew, this curse made him kill his kin. He killed all those he roamed with once and more, much more. He had aligned with strange group of Exorcists, a special organization, built with a devious goal . . . to tame True Light of good, when it became too bright. They had their part in Inquisition too, in their times. But these days they were just watching over those who stood first lines of defense against forces of the Dark, mostly those like him.
When he thought of it, that was not entirely true. There were many sects and religious groups which had fought-against-or-partly-cooperated with the Enemy, still Exorcists did not watch over. The only kind they had their Eye on, were the Slayers. Young girls and women gifted in ways like no other man.
No other man, indeed, he grinned bitterly. As much as they supervised, they also in part restrained. Powers of Great Mother were always a bit feared by Men and they always strived to tame them in a way. They sure had taken that seriously during Inquisition and for that he never liked them much. In fact for that matter, he thought Exorcists to be a form of cruel jape, pervaders of Light. But now he was one of them . . . in a way. The man he cooperated with was really a rebel, an outlaw, regarding the Exorcists. And there was also her . . . the three of them. Two now.
He bowed his head.
It did not rain, but he felt like whole world was flooded with desperacy.
He could not twist Ezru's hand. Kath worlds were places, where even such daemon lords were of little significance. What could he, Moth man, do?
Veny was lost to him as never before.
He stopped. He was in strangely familiar part of town. Streets were abandoned mainly, there even weren't any gangs here at the time. Then it shined upon him. Delia lived here! He started to run. It couldn't be more than two blocks away. Delia. A seer. She could see things . . . maybe, he was driven here by something more then just luck, he hoped . . .

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Brightest fire casts the darkest shadows.