This is the first chapter of the first book- "Cesazivla" I'd be very grateful for any crit you could offer. Thankyou!
Cesazivla
Chapter One
Ahea Combli, Queen of Mt. Cesazivla, woke one fine morning with a start. She relaxed into her bed and groped for Lethel. With her husband’s hand clasped in hers, Ahea relived her nightmare.
She’d seen a handsome man smile and reach toward her. It was then that Ahea’d realised she was holding two babies- one was her son, Hindiel and the other was her daughter, Kersia. Ahea had turned, taking Hindiel out of the man’s reach. The man had taken Kersia, grinned and had begun to assimilate the child into himself. Ahea had had the same dream many times, and each time she’d only been able to save one child.
And throughout the dream, Ahea had heard the sounds of battle and childbirth.
"This is an ancient problem, again visiting us. We cannot easily come to a solution." Lethel looked around the Council. The High Petari looked around at each other. They knew very well the nature of the problem. "War is brewing in the east and west and we are torn," Lethel continued. "The northern and southern tribes of the Peafov and Izuv and decided to drive the Otav from Petazivm. While our alliance with our past and our homeland is strong, we must look to our future
"In Bu'Sek, the struggle of the men continues and is fast approaching climax. The regions of Cenba, Keyan and Vekil find themselves opposing Lifli and Sanda. The Baron of Cenba, Dareath Ceater has done us a great compliment by asking us to join his fight. It would seem he has heard of the abilities of our archers." Pride flickered in Lethel's eyes, but quickly died. "We cannot assist both, so we must decide.
Ahea looked up from her sewing the corner. The Council were lost in thought, weighing up the options. If the Council voted to go to Bu'Sek, the army faced a long journey and new cultures. However, it would guarantee and alliance with the Baron if he defeated his enemies. Likewise, abandoning the Otav would mean the complete rejection of the Vuasev from Petazivm, forcing the Vuasev even further from their home than they'd ever been.
The journey to Petazivm was much easier. Petazivm lay just over the mountains to the west of Cesazivla, which were less than a day's march away. But to support the Otav, even if they won, would drive a deeper wedge between Cesazivla and Petazivm. Ahea was also sure the Baron would not take kindly to his offer being rejected.
Ahea went back to her sewing as conversation. She knew her husband's view agreed with hers; it would be best to go to Cenba. Ahea looked around the Council chamber. The central table was perfectly round and was decorated with a map of Tezis. The arguing Councilmembers moved coloured pieces back and forth across the map. These pieces represented the opposing forces. The chamber itself was deep within the heart of the Mountain with a deep shaft cut into the ceiling to let in fresh air and light. But the chamber was very low, so the light didn't illuminate the entire chamber.
Ahea felt a sudden tingle up her spine. Most of the faces of the Councilmembers were half- visible in the dim light, but there was one directly opposite Lethel whose face was shrouded in shadow. Fear gripped Ahea's heart. The smell of soil filled her nostrils. It smelt of the green, muddy marshes, filled with decay and death. It was the smell of dying earth.
Just as suddenly as it had started, the sensation ended. Ahea brought her mind back to the Council as the talk became more urgent. It appeared that the Council was divided neatly in two. Half the Council argued t support Cenba, the others to fight in Petazivm. It soon became apparent that no solution could be reached, so Lethel stood bade them all be silent.
"My Lords," he said. "It would seem that there is only one way to resolve this debate." He turned and beckoned Ahea to stand. She stepped forward and took Lethel’s hand. "It is to our Queen that we must place our trust. As we cannot decide on a path, she must."
All eyes turned to Ahea. As the Queen and most powerful Petara in Mt. Cesazivla, Ahea was the most valuable member of the Vuasev. It was said that Ahea had the grace and wisdom of Temza, the Petari’s patroness. Ahea took a deep breath and proclaimed her decision
"We shall go to Cenba."
~*~
The dining hall that evening was deadly silent. During brief additional discussion, the Council had decided that Ahea would travel to Canberra with the princess, Kersia, as diplomats. Accompanying them would be Nebra, the wife of Ahea's brother.
Kersia threw down her half0eaten roll and crossed her arms. "Why must I go to Bu'Sek? I want to go Petazivm. I want to see war!"
The royal family looked nervous. Ahea's brother, Netheniel and Nebra both watched Lethel nervously. Fengil, their son, choked on his because Hindiel had kicked him in his shin. Hindiel later apologised, saying he'd been in shock.
Lethel looked down the length of the table at Kersia. "You shall go, because your seniors decided you should," he told Kersia calmly. "Petazivm is not safe for us and war is no place for a woman."
Kersia refused to give up the argument. She crossed her arms and stared defiantly into her father's eyes. "Then why can not Hindiel come as well? If I must leave Cesazivla, then I want him to come as well!"
Lethel began to stand. Clearly he'd had quite enough from his daughter, but Ahea raised her hand, bidding him to sit. Ahea then took one of Kersia's hands in her own. "This is not a matter of what you want," she said quietly to Kersia. "Your father is King and we must all do as he asks, even I. Your time for adventure will come. You may even have war, if your heart so desires." Ahea smiled, love filling her pale silver eyes. "My darling, you must find the precious gift of patience."
The rest of the meal passed in silence, but the deadly tension had been lifted. Kersia moved her roast beef about her plate. She thought of her mother's words. Kersia loved her mother; Ahea was her idol. Kersia knew she'd be Queen one day and she knew that with that power would come comparisons to Ahea. The Vuasev called Ahea 'Evenast' which meant 'One with the grace and blessing of Temza'. How could Kersia ever live up the reputation of one seen as a near-goddess?
The Mountain shook. Kersia found herself in a pile on the ground, the chair she'd been sitting on in an awkward position on Kersia's stomach. She heaved it off as the Mountain shook again, sending dust down from the rafters. Now the sound of wardrums could be clearly heard.
Lethel leapt to his feet. "Invasion!" he cried. "We are under attack!" He drew his sword and ran from the room. Netheniel followed him closely.
Ahea stood and brushed herself off. She sternly told the children to follow her and led them, with Nebra, through a passage behind the tapestry on the northern wall. Within the passage, wardrums reverberated through the wall. Kersia's heart thudded in her chest warcrys joined the drums. With a sick feeling in her stomach, Kersia realised the voices were that of Petari.
"That is the cry of the Peafov, I am certain," Nebra whispered to Ahea. "They will not spare our people.
"It will not come to that," Ahea replied stonily. She paused, beckoning to Hindiel and Fengil. She whispered in their ears and sent them away with Nebra. Ahea then turned to her daughter. "You and I must stay together."
Kersia nodded and took her mother's hand. Ahea took a torch from off the wall and led Kersia into the shadows of the mountain.
~*~
Cesazivla had many tunnels, some built for escape, others for amusement. Through the narrow outer tunnels Nebra led the princes. Hindiel noticed their path was going steadily downwards. Eventually they to a door hewed into the stone. Upon opening the door, they were greeting with sounds of the night and evening breezes. There was a large horn facing a window, through which the village could be seen, nestled into the arms of the Mountain.
Fengil stepped up to the horn and blew three might blasts. The sleeping village sprang into life as torches flickered in the huts. Fengil, Hindiel and Nebra climbed through the window and into the village. "To arms!" they cried. "Our Queen has need! To arms!"
Petari poured out of huts. Every able man and boy ran in the direction of the Mountain, the woman looking on. No sooner had the Petari reached the Mountain then it shook with another deafening explosion. Moments passed. Otherworldly music floated down from the mountaintops and Hindiel recognised his mother's voice singing to the people. She bought reassurance and calm as she announced the invasion had been curbed. Then she sang a new song, intended only for her family.
"There are spies among us," she sang. "We must be far more careful than we have been these pass years. Our defences have driven the Peafov from our home for now. But Kersia and I must leave soon." Love and comfort welled in Hindiel's heart. "Farewell." Then the singing ceased.
