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Old 11-30-2008, 03:08 AM   #1
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Alias

A rather old novella I wrote half for fun and half seriously. The name, in case you wonder, doesn't pertain to the story at all, because it evolved significantly after its dubbing...and I was too lazy to come up with something new. By the way, the serious part...well, it comes in a bit later.

The beginning is something of an info dump, but it might work. Without further ado:



1. Not a Night a Sane Person Would Want to Relive, And Neither Would I.

I stared at myself intently in the pond. Once I washed the blood off… Not the face of a mass murderer, I decided. But, of course, the blood did have to be dealt with. I sighed and tried to remember my plan. Our plan, that Scor had bailed out on in the end. Some ‘getaway driver’. But I could make it Home without Scor, surely.

But the problem was, I couldn’t. Between Scor, Calle, Retcro, and myself, Scor had been the only one who knew where to go. Then Calle didn’t show, which was terrifying, and Retcro…I would rather not think about Retcro. But at the end of it, I had been the only living creature in the building. Of course, only a madman like Retcro would have gone after the goldfins, and he had paid dearly for that. But Retcro had succeeded in leaving me as the only live man, woman, child, or fin in the building. And then the police had gotten there before Scor had, if Scor was coming. I had had no choice but to get out fast. Even dead, Retcro might be trouble. I didn’t know much about how the police tracked us. Scor had taken care of that, and now he was elsewhere. Calle had had something to do with it, too, but with him out…I tried to think of pleasanter things.

Of course, I thought as I washed the dried blood off my face, it was possible Scor had been unable to reach us before the police. That was a pleasanter thought. It meant Scor was still alive and useful, and I could still get my hands around his neck. But there was still Calle. That was a truly mortifying problem. Brilliant and Evil. He outdid the rest of us when he showed up, when he was allowed to. The other Evil were just Evil, none-to-bright little weapons of mass destruction. Calle, now, he was another story. His only fault was that he seemed unsure of who was on his side. Which was a sugarcoated way of saying, he was a one-man army made so by killing the rest of the army.

Retcro hadn’t been much better. He had known I was on his side and that everyone else wasn’t. He knew Scor was on his side. We were all doubtful about Calle. But the point was Retcro knew I was on his side, back there, and he left me alone. But everyone—everything (including the goldfins)—else was fair game. Retcro just liked killing. I wondered how he liked dying as I stood up from the pond, blood-free. I looked around to make sure no one had seen me. If they had, they ran away before I heard them. I decided to go back the way I came. Maybe Scor had found my tracks and was waiting for me. Not likely. But it was a nice thought.

I’ve got to stop thinking nice thoughts. It might make me Good.

We’d always debated over whether it would be worse to be Good or Impartial. Obviously, that would be no more, with Retcro dead, Scor absent, and Calle…loose on the world. But used to, Retcro always started it. He would say that he would very likely die if something turned him Good. Scor would always point out that if he were Good, he would like being Good as much as he liked being Evil now. Impartial, on the other hand, wouldn’t be so bad because they don’t seem to enjoy being Impartial and change in the blink of an eye. Retcro would insist that he would die. Sooner or later one of them would involve me. Calle would never join in these friendly arguments, preferring to stare at us like we were the meat section of a grocery store from behind his bars.

We all avoided looking at, mentioning, breathing in the general direction of, or even thinking about Calle. Not that he was Feral, although I had seen him pacing behind his bars and growling deep in his throat like a sharp-fanged, four-legged, striped Feral I had seen somewhere. Calle had passed through Human, Feral, and could now only be defined as Other Being. Most Humans didn’t become Feral, but Calle had been Feral long enough to start growing fur. Not kidding. Retcro had claimed to have know him when he was Human (Retcro lied a lot. We didn’t fault him for it. It was his upbringing, same as ours, and hanging out with us so much), and we all remembered when he was Feral, though, at first, he hadn’t been our responsibility then. Thinking that made me wonder if Calle himself remembered being Human or Feral. Feral, maybe; that hadn’t been so long ago. But when had he been Human? It was hard to imaging Calle being anything other than Other Being.
I reached the end of the Feral trail I had followed to the pond. Police swarmed over the building we had massacred. They didn’t come close to the trees, luckily for me, and I was able to slip to the front yard, out the gate, which they had foolishly left unguarded, and out onto the street. I wasn’t really expecting it, but it annoyed me that Scor was nowhere around.
Our old base had been totaled when Calle picked the lock on his bars. We were never sure how he got the pen he dismantled to make the lockpick, but we had suspected it was carelessness on Mavid’s part. No matter. Mavid had been the first down when we realized Calle was out and we had to wrestle him back behind bars. Of course, Shelika and Vareen had also been on the expired list, but they were slackers anyway. They should have been Impartial. They were halfway there anyway.

But now Calle was out now, one way or another, and I didn’t have anywhere to run to. Hopefully he had found the suburbs, and I wouldn’t have to worry about him for a while. My only problem was that growling noise behind me. It could have been a Feral. I didn’t think Calle growled when he was hunting. Wasn’t sure, but I didn’t think so. I turned around slowly, which seemed ridiculous, because it gave the Feral plenty of time to jump at me and rip out my throat. But it was no Feral. It came as close as possible without being. A Crazy.

Sometimes when Human Change strangely, instead of going on to Other Being after a few years, they go Crazy. Evil always go Insane when they end up Crazy. It wasn’t a nice thought. But Good sometimes go Crazy and come out Evil. Impartial who go Crazy…anything could happen. They might become Evil, Good, Insane, Other Being, stay Impartial, or, I had heard, even become Higher Lifeform. I doubted the last one, but it was what I had heard. And naturally none of this really matters when you’ve got a Crazy growling at you and staggering towards you. Unlike Insane, Crazy walk upright, although not very well. I realized I had left my gun with Scor, the knife I had used at the massacre was stuck in a tree back at that pond, and my spare was stuck in my boot, too far to reach in time. A knife would be little good against a Crazy’s teeth and ‘claws’ anyway.

In short, I was dead.
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Old 11-30-2008, 03:40 AM   #2
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Continue.. I don't really mind info dumps although it seems to be lacking something which tells a backstory. Maybe what year, where, and when is this happening? I think the information might be useful to the reader.
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Old 11-30-2008, 03:42 AM   #3
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Mmm, I struggled with the backstory a bit. I wrote it without really knowing what was going on myself, to be honest. It's kind of revealed steadily along the way, and you have to peice it together yourself. Suffice it to say, though, that it can be perceived as a future Earth or another world entirely.
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Old 11-30-2008, 03:45 AM   #4
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Ah, just state it is so, future earth or wherever planet you decide to place this on. Lets the reader know where they are at least. I don't mind piecing the puzzle together myself but you've got to provide the frame I guess.
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Old 11-30-2008, 03:49 AM   #5
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Hm. I'd rather let the reader decide if it's Earth or not for themself. After all, you immediately assume it's Earth, right? But with the foreign dialect, you're not sure. I want to bring it full circle and make you realize that it is Earth. But if you don't catch that, and you think it's somewhere else completely, it doesn't matter.
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Old 11-30-2008, 03:57 AM   #6
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Yeah, with the Other Being and all that, I thought maybe this was some other planet. It is Earth? Well, it doesn't show that much now though. Maybe if I read deeper?
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Old 11-30-2008, 04:01 AM   #7
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What the heck.

I'm a bit iffy about this part, as it contains a story within the story. It does contribute, but it pulls us away fromt he current action.
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

I backed up slowly. If I could keep a steady, untiring pace away from it, the Crazy would never catch up. If it got close enough, it would lunge at me and—the end. But turning my back and running would be a bad idea. Turn your back to a Crazy, and who knows what would happen. I had never heard of any Evil, Good, or Impartial surviving such an attempt. I tried to remember what was behind me—in front a moment ago. Failing that, I tried to figure out exactly where I was. I knew the city upside-down, left and right, like the back out my hand. In truth, the crisscrossing streets would have looked more like the palm of my hand. The massacred mansion was on that street and I had come out the driveway, gone left, which meant northwest…

Ah, yes, that was a problem. No more slow-and-steady-life-ensuring-careful-backing-up, not with that lamppost (burnt out, judging by that nonexistent light) in the way. What have I got to lose? I turned tail and ran. I dodged the other posts, signs, and benches, hearing the Crazy snarling and bounding after me. After what seemed like years, I made sure my path was straight and obstacle free for a while, and dared a look back. The Crazy had dropped to all fours, and was shortening the distance between us considerably. I stumbled and caught myself on a post I had known would be there—and waited for the end.

There was no way I would outrun it, already exhausted as I was. It had already chased me several miles, or it seemed like it. The Crazy was just entering a halo of light a few feet away, now back on two legs. I wasn’t sure when it had switched back, but even seeing that I didn’t run again. I despaired—Retcro dead, Scor gone somewhere, Calle…

Calle. I heard growling, Human growling, like someone angry, not Feral or Crazy or even Insane, but…Other Being growling. I glanced over my shoulder, but it wasn’t coming from there. The Crazy didn’t notice, or maybe didn’t care, just lurched along at a sort of steady pace. I tried to penetrate the darkness, but still saw nothing. All at once the growling was louder, and I suddenly figured out where it was coming from. I looked up. The lampposts were built to be mounted on the sidewalk and overhang the road, shaped like an upside-down L; I was under the top part. Above me, a person about my size, and assumedly an Other Being, was balanced on the thin metal pole. He was crouching, so I guessed he was holding on with his hands. I had a feeling I knew who it was. I backed up a few steps. Running from a Crazy was one thing. Running from Calle was another entirely. He stood up. I backed up a little more.

Calle jumped off, smoothly landing on his feet in front of me. I smelled fresh blood on him. I backed up a little more. He looked over his shoulder at me. I couldn’t move. He looked—inhuman. He always had, of course, but now…he looked even stranger. He was…too graceful, too limber…too something. It was not reassuring that he grinned at me. Maybe it was because his teeth were sharp. And red. I tried to move back again, but was rooted to the spot. Calle turned back to face the Crazy, which had been as good as forgotten. It had gotten closer than I would have thought it would without attacking. It still didn’t seem to notice Calle. I edged back and bent over to pull the thin little knife from my boot. Exactly what made me do this, I don’t know. It still wouldn’t help against the Crazy, and probably even less if Calle decided to turn around and get me first, because he was smart enough to knock it out of my hand. I knew that for a fact; when he had broken out before, I had had my knife ready. I had been the first to find him. I had foolishly jumped him when he wasn’t looking, never guessing he heard me, and he had spun around with a backhanded blow to the fist my knife was clenched in. It had gone flying, and he grabbed the same wrist (breaking it), and tossed me easily against a wall. That had hurt, paralyzed me for a moment, but nothing else was broken. Mavid had popped up about then and Calle had used my knife to slash him in the neck. I don’t think Mavid died right away. I’m pretty sure he lasted until Retcro and Scor got there, but he was dead when Vareen and Shelika arrived. Vareen had charged Calle like I had, but Calle showed her less mercy. He was still holding my knife, and he had just brought it up under Vareen’s ribcage and stabbed her in some vital organ or other. Retcro, Scor, and Shelika showed a little more caution. I was still paralyzed against the wall, clutching my wrist, panting, and I admit, moaning. The other three seemed to have a plan, but Calle foiled it. Scor and Retcro jumped at Calle’s arms, and once they seemed to have him secured, Shelika moved in for the kill. Calle was still thrashing around, and I saw what was about to happen a second before it did. Calle supported himself with his captors, Scor and Retcro, who weren’t ready for all his weight on them and collapsed, though not before Calle brought his legs up and kicked Shelika’s knife back and right into his chest. Retcro and Scor were able to keep Calle immobile on the floor until I was able to give aid. I had wrenched my knife out of Calle’s hand and between the three of us we managed to wrestle him back behind his bars. Scor had gotten a slash across his face that I guessed would leave a permanent scar. Retcro was mostly unhurt. My wrist had both of them worried that I wouldn’t be able to use my knife or gun right. Obviously, I managed. But that wasn’t the current problem.

I had my knife, but I also had a Crazy to worry about. And, of course, Calle. He was freaking me out to say the least. I didn’t know if he planned on fighting for me, or killing me. Either way, I was armed, even if it wouldn’t do me much good. I kept backing up until the Crazy was within a foot of Calle, and I was about a yard behind from him.

Calle had watched the Crazy coming closer and had done nothing, but Calle being still didn’t mean Calle not about to kill something. I edged back a little more. I regretted not turning away; I may be Evil, but I’m not a cannibal. Calle attacked the Crazy. He knocked away its comparatively feeble struggling and ripped chunks of its flesh out with his teeth. I never saw him spit them back out…I could only hope when he was done he wouldn’t be hungry anymore.
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Old 11-30-2008, 04:18 AM   #8
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Ok, I have to admit, the info dump part isn't that good compared to this. Nice scenes of fighting by the way. While some others might be messed up(mine) you showed the actions fluidly and clearly. Well done on this part. Go on... I'm waiting...
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Old 11-30-2008, 04:23 AM   #9
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To be fair, physical battles are easier than magical ones.

Question...do the strange names throw you off at all? Some people complain about my unorthodox names.
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Old 11-30-2008, 04:29 AM   #10
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Heh, as long as you distinguish if the person is a male or female I'm fine with it. A fresh change either way. There is an art to creating names you know? Something one would call their child, yet be unique and English sounding. Heh, I rely on typos for my names.
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Old 11-30-2008, 04:34 AM   #11
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Good. Finally, someone who realizes how important unique names are!

I might upload the next part tomorrow; wait and see if anyone else reads.
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Old 12-28-2008, 01:07 PM   #12
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Utterly shameless bump.
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Old 12-28-2008, 02:04 PM   #13
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So far, interesting. I like unusual names, use them quite frequently myself. People always as me "how the heck do you get those names?" I reply, "typing random keys until something looks good."

I like the second part a bit more then the first. While the info is needed, it does lack a little. If you re-work it a little, I'm sure it will be good.

Hope you put up more. I'll be waiting.

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Old 12-28-2008, 09:02 PM   #14
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I like it so far not much criticism at the moment as i am in the middle of an important writing seesion and keep getting sidetracked. Nice names and nice fight scenes though.
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Old 12-28-2008, 10:39 PM   #15
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Cool. Thanks, Kachine and Beja-Beja.
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