Spreed

Buzz! The alarm clock grates on my nerves, but it’s come too late. The dark cold, which arrives so swiftly every morning, has already crept slowly into my heart, and awaken me to another glorious day. “Oh yay,” I think to myself, “I’m sure today will be filled with plenty of happiness and sunshine."

Sarcasm seems to come more easily these days.

By the way, this is day 749 without you, and each day seems to be getting more difficult, contrary to what the experts say. It’s seven o-clock in the morning, the same time I start all of my days, and just like the last 748 I can tell you exactly how I’ll spend it.

I’ll spend the next thirty minutes lying here wishing I was still in my dream world, where I still see you. Eventually I’ll get up, take a shower, and eat a hearty bowl of cereal, always Frosted Flakes-they were your favorite weren’t they? After that, I’ll arrive to work—fifteen minutes early, as always—and work at a rigorous pace that none of my coworkers can compete with. I never take lunch, which lands me bonus points with my superiors, but consequently isolates me from the rest of the office. Not that I care; I’m not here to make friends. I reluctantly leave the office at five (they don’t offer overtime to me anymore), and I’ll drive home, alone.

At home I’ll fix a wonderful dinner for two, but only eat one of them. Not sure why I fix the extra dish. No need for concern, I’m not crazy yet, I just can’t seem to break an old habit. Once dinner is over I’ll go watch some TV in attempt to distract myself from the impending depression that is beginning to build. This mostly stems from my lack of a social life, which of course is my fault, but I just can’t seem to care. All of my friends have long forgotten me. Who needs a friend who serves as little purpose as a zombie? And if it’s not from my lack of people skills, then it’s from the frustration of trying to pull me out of my depression. None of my family visits, which is probably a result of their unanswered emails and phone calls. To the world in general, I’m as good as dead, but the problem is, I’m not dead. I’m still forced to live every one of these 749 days without you, which just so happens to transition me into the last part of my routine.

Every night at 10:00, I attempt to go to bed, but I know before I get there that I won’t sleep. Instead I’ll listen to the voices in my head argue over what I should do about my pain; I humor the schitzo debate inside my mind, and sometimes I even look forward to it.

“Tomorrow is another day.”

“Bull shit, tomorrow you will wake up in the same state that you’ve been in since she left you; what could possibly make you think that tomorrow will be any different?"

“Tomorrow could be better, the experts say that this pain will get easier with time,” I’ll plead, but even I’ll be annoyed by how dim-witted that sounds! That’s when the other voice attempts to persuade me. Causing me to linger on thoughts that shouldn’t be, to consider doing things that are forbidden, and making me question my promise to you. But no matter how enticing this may sound, I know what would await such a decision. There is no doubt in my mind that you’re in heaven right now, and if I end my life, I will never be able to make it there. Life without you is hard enough; I don’t even want to imagine eternity

Then a whisper from somewhere far off, a warm gentle voice reminds me that everything is ok. With just those few simple words the dark voice is forced to flee again, only to return the next night in hopes of convincing me of his reasoning. You always did keep me warm babe, and for that I’m eternally grateful.

Just wish the mornings weren’t so damn cold.

SparkyLT

Easy to read and I like the MC.

But do none of you new people feel the need to critique other folks' work before posting your own? It makes me dislike you instantly; it's as though, somehow, you think you're better than us. Maybe it's just me.

Newnonel

Expresses the pain clearly, much like the confusion i had when i was in my first relationship.

Spreed

Sparky, I didn't intend to cause you to feel that way. In fact I would have thought it opposite of what you said. I figured that coming in here and giving my thoughts on your writing, while none of you have ever heard of me would have been rude. I mean why would you want my advise, someone you have never heard of, or ever seen their writing. Secondly I'm not sure if I'm a good enough writer to start giving advise, but truthfully I didn't intend to give off that kind of a message. I appoligize and hope that you cannot hate me entirely.

SparkyLT

No, it's nothing against you personally, Spreed. Your writing is quite good, really. But expecting us to read your work before you've even said (er...typed) two word to us is disrespectful, in my eyes, and a lot of people are doing this lately. Sorry for fuming.

Katastrof

Pretty good, but you rely on too much melodramatic self reflection, which seems to be the case with most writers here. I'd say tone the melodrama down and focus on his actions and how he reacts to them than how he feels about them. (Not saying cut all the feeling, but the middle three paragraphs made me read on more than the beginning ones did)

Also:

Alarm clocks are cliche, my friend. I almost wanted to stop reading because of it. Start with describing the cold (you don't have to say dark either) or start with describing the dream. Or both. I personally liked how the ending and beginning matched, but the beginning right now is not as strong as the ending.

Overall, better than what I usually see here, although centered on the same subject matter.

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Read: A Novel Idea
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes."
~ Frieda Norris

inkspot

I really like it, the only thing I'd rework is the beginning. "The dark cold, which arrives so swiftly every morning" is contradictory - it's been dark all night, so it's not something that suddenly arrives in the morning, quite the opposite. Unless it's meant to illustrate a feeling but that isn't clear to me from the way it's written.
Other than that, good job!