3/3/2012 - LM- The Abyss - SCORES
Congratulations, candid petunia and garza! Great stories and well deserved scores for you both.
Many thanks to the judges, you folks put a lot of effort into those critiques and I think your opinions are right on the money. I hope everyone enjoyed reading Choices as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Kyle -- Your comment that Walker was too two dimensional is spot on. He's definitely a caricature of a conflicted, crooked cop. Perhaps if I'd sat on the story for a few days before submitting I would have seen that.
Bazz -- I'm glad it took you by surprise. I'm a sucker for twist endings and shifts in perspective in the stuff I read (probably too much Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine, and O. Henry as a kid). As a writer I'll give up style points for a good emotional kick to the yarbels any day; one of my many failings.
Hawke -- Again, I'm thrilled that it worked for you on a story level -- I'd rather be a bad writer than a boring one! I struggle with getting my punctuation right on my best days. Strunk and White are always within arm's reach, but too often I don't ask their advice.
Jon M -- Your critique shows me a major failing in the story; I obviously didn't do a good enough job of showing that the man Walker was talking to was his own reflection in the bathroom mirror. I knew that trying to show that in just the last few words was a risk. Sorry I didn't pull it off better. I'm happy the rest of the tale worked for you, though. Thanks for reading it.