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The Book That Is Eragon
I admit, Eragon is something of an obsession of mine.
I just cannot grasp the fact that something so bland, predictable, full with boring characters and plagiarism attracts so many people.
Fans especially, I would like to read this, and answer some of my questions.
ERAGON FAULTS:
Oh boy, where do I start.
1) Paolini seems unable to write anything remotely original.
The whole story, from cover to cover, is a huge mix of all possible books I have ever read.
Dragons, Dragon Riders - been done. (ie. Pern Books)
Evil Empire, evil king - been done. (Ie. a million stories, including Star Wars)
Magic - been done in EXACTLY the same fashion as described (The Earthsea Trilogy)
The "true speech" of creation that Brom teaches Eragon in order that he may work magic comes from Ursula LeGuin's incomparable Earthsea series right on down to the detail about one not being able to lie in the true speech. See a Wizard Of Earthsea by LeGuin and the entire Earthsea series for the best and most majestic depiction of dragons I have ever read -- and that beats Tolkien and McCaffrey.
Characters: The female characters are a joke, while Eragon is a teenager that seems to get angry whenever he takes a breath.
He also seems to fall unconsious or asleep at the slightest touch or sound.
Saphira is mildly orignal, but nothing that hasn't been done before.
Creatures:
Elves - Tolkien Stereotypes
Dwarfs - same
Urgals - orcs with horns. Not 1% original.
Shade - bah. Seen it, read it.
If there are more creatures, I can't remember them because they are bland and forgettable.
I DARE YOU TO NAME FIVE THINGS IN ERAGON THAT ARE ORIGINAL!
2) Crappy writing.
Insane overuse of adverbs, while insane UNDERuse of the word "said".
instead, he uses 5 000 Synonyms like "snapped" "instructed" "barked".
Most of us here at WF know that it is OK to use said - it just faints away for the reader.
An example: "Sorry," Brom apologized quickly.
COMMON DEFENSES FOR ERAGON'S FAULTS:
"He was just a teenager when he wrote the book"
Ah yes, the most famous one.
Well, yes, but he PUBLISHED it. Which means, it is treated like ANY OTHER book published.
And just because he was young, that doesn't mean that people, especially children, should read this excuse for fantasy, which teaches BAD THINGS (More on this in "Why you shouldn't read Eragon")
"He wasn't STEALING, he was inspired."
Inspiration and theft are different things. It is one thing if I look at your painting, think it is wonderful, and paint my own in a similar theme.
IT IS ANOTHER if I take your painting and write my name on it!
What Paolini has done is BLATANT PLAGIARISM, and I am amazed that he didn't get sued.
"It is a children's book!"
Ah, no. It isn't. From his quote, "In my writing, I strive for a lyrical beauty somewhere between Tolkien at his best and Seamus Heaney’s translation of Beowulf", he clearly compares his writing to classics.
If he does it, why can't we?!
FANS, DO TELL ME THAT!
PAOLINI QUOTES:
Things "master" Paolini has said:
"I have the greatest job in the world! I get paid to write down my day-dreams!"
Yep, that is exactly what you do, I couldn't agree more. However, that sounds remarkably like FANFICTION, the lowest form of writing.
Real writers work hard on developing their stories, and the meanings tey yearn to send the reader through their book.
It is clear Paolini envisioned himself in Eragon's shoes.
He obviously thought himself very talented, since Eragon can go from farm boy to the GREATEST SWORDSMAN IN THE LAND in a month. Oh yea, and he is also stronger than the his mentor, apparently also one of the best wizards in the land.
That's like having Frodo beating Gandalf at Magic, and Aragorn at Swordsmanship.
"Eragon has all things a good story needs: A hero, an unspeakable evil, magical beasts, magic, and an epic romance!"
Yea. A story also needs ORIGINALITY. Forgot that one, heh?
And as for epic romance, the female character is a joke, with slightly more depth than a watering can.
WHY YOU SHOULDN'T READ ERAGON:
The most important part of my message.
Usually, I agree that any book that motivates children to read is a good book. (Despite that Harry Potter seems to have effects like: "A story about someone learning magic comes from Rowling, and anyone else writing about something similar is a very bad writer that we won't read, because he stole that idea!" (ACTUAL REVIEW, albeit from a kid).
But in the case of Eragon, the things is seems to teach are quite horrible:
"Anyone can become a rich and best-selling author, and it doesn't matter how clever you are. It matters how dumb your readers are!"
Actually, Dan Brown seems to teach that as well...
"With the right marketing, a book about clock repair can become a bestseller!"
Yep, that is the ONLY reason Eragon ever sold so well. Shameless publishers.
"Fantasy is all about dwarfs and elves, and ideas ripped off from other books. IT IS OK TO DO IT! See, I did it, and I'm more successful than most suckers who tried coming up with fascinating plots, characters and ideas!"
So, in conclusion: Don't read this book. Buying it just inflates Paolini's already gigantic ego, causing him to churn out more crap like this, and that, in turn, causes his readers to churn out crap like this.
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Originally Posted by bobothegoat
