Thread: The Worst Author you ever heard of! Tell us all!

Replying to some of the authors mentioned on this thread

Billly Shakes (shakespeare): Get past him writing in a foreign language and you realize that the dude was a downright motherfreaking genius.The amount of theme's and layer's his stories have is incredible. He's probably in my top 5 authors, definitely not toward the bottom. Be patient and dive in, you won't regret it.

Scott Fitzgerald: Him I kind of agree with, decent writer but his short stories have never been anything but cliche affairs for me, and I have no idea why The Great Gatsby became a classic. I don't think he's one of the worst authors of all time though, I still find pleasure in most of his works (the exception of Gatsby) he's just overrated.

Nathaniel Hawthorne: Downright terrible. His prose focus's on everything irrelevant, his dialogue is awkward and almost never moves the plot forward, his symbols are embarrassedly obvious etc. etc. etc....To be honest I've only read about 3 of his works, but those were such a miserable experience for me that..well I don't plan to read anything else.

Hemingway: Freaking love Hemingway, whoever suggested him needs to be shot in the foot.

Stephen King: His early works were absolutely fantastic (The Shining is probably one of my favorite books of all time.) but his latter career, it's been rough. Talented writer, just tends to overwrite the story by about....550 pages.

Worst book I ever read? Avatar. Oops, that was a movie.

Seriously though, Stephenie Meyer. I'm sad to say I haven't really read many books, but as far as I've come Stephenie Meyer takes the price. The book consists of plain descriptions of everyday life, and huge overdetailed descriptions every time Edwards steps into the picture. After two chapters I heard every detail about his amazing, crystal white teeth; his flawless lavender lips; his sculptured, greek god chest; his breathtaking eyes and his beautiful, flowing hair. It's so extreme she's running out of adjectives!

I have to give her some cred though: The book is highly comical! Sad thing she didn't mean it to be taken that way.

Originally Posted by excuseme

I have to give her some cred though: The book is highly comical! Sad thing she didn't mean it to be taken that way.

I know! I couldn't help but laugh through the whole book.

I love horror books more than anything, so I tend to gravitate toward dark novels. I personally love Stephen King (particularly his earlier work) but one author I don't enjoy so much lately is Dean Koontz. I read a few of his books which I really liked - in fact, I was beginning to wonder if he was to become one of my favourites- but I have read through several more recently and didn't enjoy them at all. It has put me off reading more of his work.

Okay, I don't know if any of you have ever been to or visited the site, but ... oh wait, first of all, let me say this.

Stephylococus. Stepholufugus. Stephenie-#$%^-Meyer has to be the worst writer since ... well, since second grade at a school in Africa. A second grade at a school in Africa for the mentally handicapped.

Anyway, I must insist on directing you all to ReasoningWithVampires.tumblr.com. I shall post a single picture from 50 pages of her critiquing and correcting the grammar of all three (four?) books, so that you might get an idea of exactly what I'm talking about.

Enough said. ReasoningWithVampires.tumblr.com. You MUST see it. Some things you just can't stop laughing at.

carlton melnik III

man, it is crap

his publisher is eraserhead or something like that and on amazon they give fake 5 star reviews to all their books and say that "it is like a mix of david lynch and david cronenberg with some sprinkles of palahniuk"

do not buy anything from that publisher at all

if someone is cold and has a fireplace i will send you a book of his to burn or if you have a lopsided table you might be able to use it to prop up a leg

Stephanie Meyer and Christopher Paolini.

Stephanie Meyer is evil, sent as the first of the many signs of the Apocalypse.

Christopher Paolini can't write dialogue. I mean seriously. "They do not partake of the meat." I lost any and all respect for him at that moment.

Out of the two, I'd say Meyer is worse, though. At least Paolini's characters have some vague personalities. And he doesn't romanticize relationship abuse.

I can't say he is the worst author...just over hyped. James Patterson. I was going to read the Women's Murder Club series but never made it through the end of the first book. I usually like mysteries but for some reason his writing irritated me.

James Patterson - very popular but utterly horrible. Danielle Steel - painfully romantic - a bit like a literary version of Simon Bates's 'Our Tune'. I almost forgot Jeanette Winterson. I bought one of her books as it was well reviewed but found the endless lesbian yarning extremely tedious.

As far as their actual ability to write I would have to go with JK Rowling. Though her story is great, I find her writing to be both choppy and uninspired, I have all of her books, but after watching the movies I just feel I can pay more attention to the actuality of it happening in front of me than reading her lackluster writing. I know she could be seen as more of a pre-teen children's author, but as far as her popularity goes it just seems that it would take more than what she writes to make as much money as she has.

And to concur with the mention of others, I can hardly read a Steven King novel without passing out from boredom. I respect the man for what he has accomplished, but I don't find him scary or intriguing. I may check out Dark Tower though.

Dil is an author I've had the misfortune to meet in real life. I can honestly say that he is one of the most objectionable people I have ever met, and his manga Demon Prince: Children of Gaia is just appalling. On the back of this he's totally commercialised the creation of manga for a small section of the UK Manga industry, and his attitude towards young writers has to be heard to be believed. Thank goodness his books are terrible; I'd hate to have a horrible opinion of him as a person and then be grudgingly impressed.

Edit: Almost forgot Laurell K Hamilton. The Anita Blake books 1-6 were good, and then it was hardcore sex until 9, which was excellent. I believe she's still going, at 15 or so now, and they're just sex. I like it, but can we have some plot too please?