display your banner here

malvo4

Flitting Between Depression and Being Pissed Off

Rate this Entry
2 Comments
by
malvo4
, 08-24-2010 at 10:19 AM (319 Views)
Just like the title states: Flitting between depression and being pissed off. Just those two emotions now. One moment I feel, horribly alone, I try. I really do. I want to write and I want to know just know! Am I good or bad, writing something of promise or pure slob? Should I just give up and let go? I don't know because no one will read anything I write! I can't know. It isn't like everyone is viewing my stuff, I can see no one is looking at any of it. So I grit my teeth and head out there. You have to give in order to receive. I understand that. So I rate and review, I reply to post. I re-reply to posts once someone says something. I try I try so hard just to put myself out there to be apart of the group which helps one another, but I just get the shitty end of the stick and it is clear someone has diarrhea. Am I that unlikeable? I try to be positive when I post when I give reviews. I always try to say something nice, but the conversation always ends with me and the group disperses. Am I that socially inept that I can't even get people to talk to me on the internet? And now he comes the anger again. Why the hell is it so hard! I try. I have to wade through slop of people's writing I don't even like just so that they can tell me what they think and I don't even like their taste! I am not talking about people on this forum because I am apart of another writing site and I try my ass of there too and no dice! I enter contests, I try to write about a sheriff, a clown and a trout within 24 hours in a thousand words or less, and no one even glances at my profile! So time I just wonder what the point is. Really. I am not brave enough to go to the English dean and ask, can you read this? I am apart of a completely different college, but I really need to know. I can't show my face with pages in hand, I am not at that level yet. And this is my only chance. Plus the only time I have. Engineering is hard, but this is so much harder than making a patch antenna! I just want to be heard to be acknowledged! I don't need to be the next Hemingway or Anne Rice. I don't need to be told I am awesome and great. Just tell me something! Something! So I am not in the dark all alone! SOMETHING!
Tags: None Add / Edit Tags
Categories
WritingForums.com , Fiction

Comments

  1. Mike's Avatar
    Regardless of whether or not someone reads your writing, you should still write, if that's what you want to be doing.

    I fully realize how hard it is to accept what little critique you get from this forum, especially if you do not like the styles of writing from these particular people. But the peanut gallery has its uses. For example, I've taken some writing workshops in the past, and some people would bring in these completely ridiculous stories, stocked full of mistakes. You try to piece it together somehow, but how little of your hard work gets across to the other side? Does it really make the other person a better writer, pointing out the grammar errors and whatnot? I think it does. Somewhat. However, when the favor is returned, when it comes time for others to critique your story, how do you let it affect you, knowing that the person who critiques is the same person who just wrote a really bad story? My own opinion is that you're gaining a reader's perspective of your story, while at the same time you benefit from the mistakes and confusing areas that the critic points out. It's useful to get a lot of perspective, regardless of how experienced the critic is at writing, just so you can fine-tune some bumpy spots. This doesn't mean you should radically change your story to suit every reader's whim - you have the opportunity to weigh and measure such advice, and implement it as you see fit.

    What if no one reads your stories? You put a lot of work into them. You've given critique after critique, hoping you'd see some kind of reciprocity. My only advice is to be patient. You'll see that sometimes you get hardly any critiques on one story, and then another time you get way too many.

    You can send me a message that you have a story up, and I'll do my best to critique it in a timely fashion. I know that many people are busy and may not have time for an in-depth look at every aspect of a story, so bear that in mind when you post.
  2. malvo4's Avatar
    Well I just recently returned to this forum, I have been here for less than a week. On another writing site I have been there for much longer and the vent was mostly aimed at that site. I just noticed that I could write blogs here, vented, and didn't expect anyone to read it here.

    At the other site, I sit down and make a goal to rate and review at least five different pieces a day. And some of the pieces are TOUGH to get though. Some times it seems like I write an essay as long as the piece itself trying to give good pointers. Admittedly some of the people are young, and I just know when I was their age it is what I wanted to hear. Also I know that it is good for me to review so that I can be able to critique my own work.

    And true it doesn't matter the level of the critic. It doesn't matter so much the grammar and such, I just need to know if things sound stupid or just plain bad. If my point is articulated well or at all. I need another perspective other than my own.

    I know I need to be patient, I just needed to vent because I have no one in reality to vent too. Family never really supported my writing. All my friends are gone. The one I have now isn't that much of a reader, and when she does read something it is a racy romance novels that makes me laugh out loud. So online is my only chance, and after making a huge effort it sometimes it is a let down.

    I'm glad you understand. And I might take you up on your offer one of these days

    Thanks.