Digging in the Dirt

Actually The Backward Ox suggested I do this in the Writing Discussion board, but I've never done anything like this in public before so I would be more than a little embarrassed. Plus it's against the rules.

Ox's suggestion was that I post excerpts from my most recent fiction piece, Ralph, along with the same excerpts as revised following suggestions made on the Fiction board. The idea is to find out which version people like the best, so please comment.

The first ...