Eiji Tunsinagi

I'm paraphrasing here, mind you, for style, but mostly for everyone's patience:

"I have this friend, well, work acquaintance, really -- told her about the time I punched a shark in the nose. Strangely enough, I had her going, until she asked me where I was when in happened -- on the spot now, what do I spit out -- really stammering -- Vanuatu! I didn't believe it myself. She asked me where that was and I tried to give her a geographical reference (something about the Mariana Trench) but she had lost interest."

And so it begins. Dinner parties.

There are two types of people at these little things where people gather and start talking and don't stop talking. 1) The type of people that start talking, and 2) The type of people that don't stop talking.

Generally, everyone is a (1) -- and then it only takes one (2) to really ruin the occasion.

I'm on the phone, OK? -- and she will not let me get off the phone -- Why? -- because I made the tragic mistake of asking how she's doing.

Yes, this person. You don't invite this person. But then, how do you know you have a Type 2 Non-Stop Talker on your hands...? Well.

You can't.

Yeah, it's one of those, sorry.

Anyone can be this person. Why? Because we all have days where we don't shut up. Electric days, exciting days. Days we just feel happy to exist in a vacuum somewhere in space. Days where we go to parks, have dogs, run/walk, explore, reflect, ingest, the other one, etc -- Some people are more likely to go too far into The Talk than others, but really -- this could be you.

You could be "That Guy" (or Girl -- actually, it's more likely to be a Girl (Side note: Is there such thing as Conversational Sexism?))

Word of advice?

Don't be. Please. Just, be mindful, you know? Not to sound cliche, but listen to other people. Please. No one likes small talk to start with (aside from myself when it's extremely humorous or pretentious) so, just, like -- don't be That... Person. OK?

Fair enough? Is that fair enough?

Tell me I'm being unreasonable.

Actually, don't. I'm tired of hearing you talk about unimportant things.