Curtis Portley

It has been nearly a month at sea, with only the salt from ocean to bare us any semblance of civilization. Narrowly making it out of the nights’ fierce battle and having nearly exhausted our food rations—we remained motionless for fear that the enemy would sense our passage.

Dear Distant Heart,
Please forgive me if I don’t remember your name. After all, it was time that kept us from meeting. I find myself wrestling with thoughts too uncomfortable to mention. Yet, I choose now (in this unforgiving arena of deception) to write what may very well be my last testament to the living, and to you. I hope that you realize that you have become my very close friend, and for that, I thank you.* *
Although seemingly preoccupied I gave you no indication of the weight I carry in my heart for you. Perhaps, it was my boyish shyness that kept me mired in my dreams. I cherish the memory of us being enmeshed in a fury of passionate embraces, and you nestled neatly in my arms... until dawn. Yes, it was real, at least just enough to define this mission.

I was jerked from my bunk, as the tension was broken by sound of the shattering sky. We were quite familiar with the difference between the explosive impact of munitions and the crack of lighting. Thank God, it was only nature taking back the war .

The noise of war will not quiet the beating of my heart. Nor, will the fear of death extinguish my love. With my renewed state of understanding I’ve learned to refine my participation in the (all but forgotten) art of love; eager to reacquaint my pallet to the elegance of desire.

The blackened clouds unfolded upon us with its torrential might, as the waves crashed against our pointed bow. We welcomed the distraction from the previous night’s battle. Yet, mother natures’ ominous contempt seemed unforgiving.

You are more to me than that which is bound by the limitations of beauty. But, femininity, sculptured to honor, to be worshiped, like a “goddess of the astral,” yet willing to be humbled by the touch of my masculinity.* We’ve emerged beyond the heavens toward infinitum, and time has delivered you to this moment, and me to peace.
It is now that I give thanks to God.* It is now that I respect my ability to reason.* It is now that I understand the levels of emotion and the impact that it has had on our lives. And it is now that I can say…I love you. Never again, to forsake you for the sea.
*
I ran to the flight deck and screamed at the wind, while tossing my thoughts to the sea.

And the sea smiled to a calm. The calm steered me to a new way of thinking. My thinking no longer envelopes my feelings, and now I can (once again) return a love that once silenced her tears.

Love will remain, and so will the Essence of War.

Written and Created by Curtis Portley