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  1. Back to the Grind

    I look like a lobster.

    Earlier this week on Sunday night I received a text from a friend of mine. He wanted to know if I could work for him, helping him paint houses.

    It was a mistake. I got baked.

    By the sun.

    Yep, I didn't wear any sunscreen and now instead of a TV tan I have a farmer's tan.

    Fortunately we didn't have work today because of the rain. Mentally I'm feeling quite well, although I think I could use a little more sleep ...

    Updated Today at 03:00 AM by Smith

  2. The Relationship of the Professor and Businessman

    It's a placeholder title. Couldn't come up with anything swift for right now.

    There's a lot to glean from "The Rommel Papers". If you're unfamiliar, please feel free to check out my review of it here first. (hyperlink would be added in final draft)

    Approaching the book from just a historical or military angle is to miss the insights on life and human nature. What I want to grapple with in this blog is a specific contrast that Rommel makes between professors of ...

    Updated May 19th, 2017 at 10:01 PM by Smith

  3. Adderall

    Cut a pill in half yesterday afternoon and tried it for the first time.

    Wrote 1000 words in a period of about four hours. Not bad. And I found myself more focused on aspects of the story, the characters; my mind didn't drift as often, and when it did it wasn't as long as it'd typically be.

    What surprised me the most was how normal I felt. Truthfully it felt like... how I feel on a rare "good" day (without the help of drugs), when the stars align and by some miraculous ...

    Updated May 12th, 2017 at 11:17 AM by Smith

  4. Skype Talk with Jordan Peterson

    That's right!

    As a reward for donating $200 to his Patreon, I got to talk to the man himself today.

    We spoke for about 45 minutes about all sorts of things, but there was one thing he asked me that really "clicked".

    "Are you proud of anything you've written?"

    And when I thought about that I said "Yes".

    It felt like he'd asked me something that I ...

    Updated May 9th, 2017 at 11:46 PM by Smith

  5. Sloshed

    Looking back to 30ish minutes ago, maybe I should've walked you out to your car. I mean, we walked out the door together.

    But, I don't know. I wasn't ready to take charge of the situation; I'm a coward. Plus last time we saw one another - just a month ago - you told me you had a boyfriend.

    Didn't seem proper either way.

    Meh... more than likely isn't even a big deal. Best not think about it. Just ride out the buzz. Forget it. Forget you.

    Maybe next ...

    Updated May 6th, 2017 at 09:07 AM by Smith

  6. Times Like This

    At times like this it's hard to describe how I even feel. It's a mixture of emotions, and those don't separate nicely like oil and water.

    I don't know who I am.

    I don't know what to do anymore.

    I don't know why I'm even here.

    I don't know how to take the reigns of my life.

    Maybe that's why philosophy and psychology really appeal to me. Music. Writing. It's like I latch onto these things unintentionally but not randomly, and they not ...

    Updated May 3rd, 2017 at 10:22 AM by Smith

  7. Debate Wars - Clarity

    Been procrastinating too much lately. Guess the first step to fixing that is to acknowledge it, like any other problem.

    I've realized (again; you'd think I would've got it the first time) that I only have control over what I do.

    The only thing I can control is how I present myself. How I explain something, the amount of detail and level of specificity. ...

    Updated April 30th, 2017 at 08:47 AM by Smith

  8. Your Name


    I just saw the film "Your Name".

    It's changed my life.

    All cliches aside. I hate using that phrase. Like how "love" can lose meaning when you say that you "love" everything.

    I've never been a fan of anime. I don't mean that in the sense of disliking it. What I mean is that I've never really watched it. But after I walked out of the theater, across the empty parking lot and back to my car, ...

    Updated April 26th, 2017 at 06:49 AM by Smith

  9. Debate Wars - Clumsy Calumny


    So the hounds from my previous "Debate Wars" blog post have returned, and this time they've got some new tricks up their sleeve.


    In other words, they'll take advantage of the fact that I'm a fox, and call me a thief and make all sorts of false claims, so that hopefully the other forest animals will "turn me in".

    Allow me to explain how this works.

    Let's say you do an interview. ...

    Updated April 22nd, 2017 at 11:12 PM by Smith

  10. Is it real?

    I haven't been this down in a long time.

    Which means it's been a long time coming.

    By "down", the best way I can describe it is in the context of being numb. Obviously not physically, but from an emotional standpoint.

    And with how well things have been going lately, it leads me to ask just how real is this numbness. Not in the sense of whether or not it exists; that's pretty clear. What I mean is whether or not my depression accurately reflects reality, ...

    Updated April 19th, 2017 at 06:49 AM by Smith

  11. What If

    I'm starting to feel more and more as if Trump and Marine Le Pen are nothing more than controlled opposition.

    The "Hegelian Dialectic" is very interesting, and I'm looking for a couple books to read in regards to it. Probably no better place to start than Hegel himself.

    In theory, I think the way it works is humans work more-or-less in terms of "problem > reaction > solution." Governments and wealthy, powerful individuals have found ways to manipulate ...
  12. Get Out (and some other musings)

    The "Rotten Tomatoes" rating should've been a hint.

    I went into the theater half-expecting it to be some politically-motivated tripe and walked out amazed.

    Don't want to spoil it. But what I can say is that the movie "Get Out" truly transcended the topic of race in a surprising way.

    The acting was great.

    Allison Williams is a babe.



    EDIT: Because I hate putting this down in ...

    Updated April 10th, 2017 at 12:33 PM by Smith

  13. Review of "The Rommel Papers"


    The Rommel Papers are the incomplete memoirs of senior military commander Erwin Rommel that escaped burning by the author himself (in the event that he was being investigated by the gestapo), and remained hidden with the cooperation of friends and family after Hitler forced him to commit suicide on the grounds of suspected treason.

    Kept safe from the hands of the Nazis and Soviets, and recovered from their secret locations or American possession ...

    Updated April 5th, 2017 at 12:31 AM by Smith

  14. In Light of Recent Events

    Despite some comments in regards to my pursuit of journalism and my decision to leave my dead-end job, life seems to still be going well, if not better.

    A forum member on here was kind enough to help me set-up a free-lancing profile so that I can start to do some work on the side while I continue to search for another job. This was more than I could've asked for, and to show my sincerity I was sure to link them to my completed profile. Not only will it be money in my pocket but it'll ...

    Updated April 3rd, 2017 at 01:02 PM by Smith

  15. Life and Solitude

    Saw the horror movie "Life". It was decent. Reminded me I'm not a misanthrope, which is always good.


    In this day and age it seems too hard to disconnect. Yet, it's so important.

    I've come a long way in balancing my social and alone time though. Got rid of Instagram (uninstalled the app; my account still exists, unused), removed myself from Facebook, and yet I still stay in touch with the people who are most important to me... because that's how ...

    Updated March 24th, 2017 at 07:01 AM by Smith

  16. Recently Random Happenings

    My dad still doesn't know I quit my job. Walked off after my boss convinced me that he might as well be doing my job for me.

    As a friend eloquently put [quoted?], "More than a drop is required to make a thunderstorm."

    Indeed, and one could see the clouds brewing from miles away.

    It was particularly windy that day too, and thinking back on it symbolizes the cliche "winds of change". I'd planned to quit for some time now, but I'd hoped to ...

    Updated March 16th, 2017 at 06:48 AM by Smith

  17. Having Nobody To Talk To

    I'm sure most of you assume - and rightfully so - that since I'm quite polemic, I'm an exceptionally difficult person to be around in real life.

    Or, I don't know. Maybe NONE of you have ever assumed that, and I'm just projecting the fact that I don't like myself very much. This is more likely the case.

    Anyway, truth be told I actually have trouble baring my teeth in-person, because I'm not very sophisticated about it, compared to how I can articulate myself with writing. ...

    Updated March 8th, 2017 at 09:40 AM by Smith

  18. It's Been a While...

    Since I've actually wrote any fiction.

    There's my WIPs of course. I think I'm up to five now, one novella, two novels, and two short-stories. But every time I sit down to work on one of them recently I just get lost. Lose all drive. Part of it I'm sure, is not having them prioritized, so I can't focus on just one of them. Instead I'm sort of wandering all over the place in my mind.

    So perhaps prioritizing them, even if the prioritization changes from time to time, will ...

    Updated March 5th, 2017 at 07:28 AM by Smith

  19. On Freedom

    Inspired by Greyson's blog.


    I think you have however much freedom you want to exercise, since influences are just that: influences.

    People who are more agreeable will naturally exhibit less freedom, than people who are disagreeable. The same could be said for people who are more social, or are more solitary. As general rules of thumb, of course.

    Another thing people forget, is that freedoms have consequences. You can do whatever you want. But ...

    Updated February 28th, 2017 at 01:11 PM by Smith

  20. Debate Wars - The Fox

    By my nature I think I've always been a bit of a fox. Too "smart" for my own good. Both solitary and social; always searching for a vixen (man do foxy-looks get me going). The irony of looking for a vixen will probably be the story of my life. Look up "Foxes in popular culture" on Wikipedia, and check out the bits about foxes in Japanese mythology, and you'll thoroughly understand my plight in a metaphorical sense.


    When it comes to debate, I've ...

    Updated February 19th, 2017 at 12:34 PM by Smith

  21. I Was Wrong

    Yeah yeah, before some of you (if any of you) throw a party, save it for the end.

    Being older does not equal being wiser. This is a non-sequitur. It does equal more life experience though, even if that life experience wasn't very broad.

    To a certain extent one could say that age has an effect on knowledge, and intelligence. Obviously an infant or a child are intellectually inferior to a young adult, or an adult. Although there is a good chance, too, that one can become ...

    Updated February 12th, 2017 at 07:40 AM by Smith

  22. My Distinct Dialect

    I'm watching a lecture (felt the need to pause it and write this blog) by Brandon Sanderson on dialogue. One of the points he made is making each character feel distinct when they speak. Usually this is done through dialect or accent, but these aren't the only ways it can be done. He asks the class, "How could you write dialogue for an intelligent, or well-educated character?"

    A student's response is you could have them speak in the passive voice.

    Sanderson agrees, ...

    Updated February 8th, 2017 at 11:21 AM by Smith

  23. Writing Exercise

    It loomed over the city-street in a suffocating way, casting a dark shadow upon the sidewalk and staircase in front. The gargoyles above were enough to make me hesitate, but not in admiration of the eroding architecture, discolored by rain and mold. I supposed their faces were no more welcoming than my own disheveled appearance. Had I slept? Had it really only been two days?

    Ascending the steps, my hand glided along the cool and smooth stone railing, damp from the morning dew. I stopped ...

    Updated February 11th, 2017 at 10:19 PM by Smith

  24. Situational Fallout

    Status: I will be quitting my job.

    Haven't decided when yet. It wasn't in the heat of the moment, like I threatened it would. Probably for the better. I need time to plan out the proceedings, and establish a safety-net since I'll be walking away from my income.

    Since the only responsibility I *have* to pay for would be car insurance (after I pay off my car loan in 2-3 months), I can easily survive on what I have in the bank for a long while. Won't go into details about ...

    Updated February 3rd, 2017 at 01:59 AM by Smith

  25. Dysfunctional Death

    My grandfather (my mother's dad) has spent the last few days slowly dying at home. He passed away yesterday, just after noon.

    Meanwhile, I spent that time, if I could even be granted the permission of 'spent' and not 'wasted', working. Worrying about how I'll get days off for a vacation with my friends in Toronto, and how I'll manage not being a few weeks shy of legal drinking age (probably won't stop me, but it's certainly a bit of a roadblock). But perhaps most importantly of all, ...

    Updated January 31st, 2017 at 10:59 AM by Smith

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