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  1. Self-doubt

    It's all my own.

    I can't let myself be anxious. I can't worry. There's only the now. Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. And we can't go back and change the past. It's just there to tell us where we've been. To give us continuity. To learn from.

    But you can't force yourself to stop being worried or anxious. You'll only worry that you're worried, and then worry about the fact that you're worried you're worrying. I guess I'll contradict myself right away; you have to let ...
  2. A Political Disagreement

    So I've been very outspoken before about how I think it's ridiculous you can't maintain a relationship with somebody in spite of a political disagreement. Specifically, it was about Brexit.

    And I still think it's ridiculous-- at least, as it pertains to Brexit. But not so much in terms of what I'm about to tell you.

    Lately I've seemingly become at greater and greater odds with an old Skype friend of mine who comes from Germany. He said something so absurd that I must've ...

    Updated July 1st, 2017 at 11:45 PM by Smith

  3. Starstruck

    So looking back I realize that I've had the *very* fortunate opportunity to meet not one, not two, but many famous individuals.

    Not only that, but people who actually mean something to me, and who are a positive influence.

    I shook James Hetfield's hand twice. Really nice guy who appreciates his fans. Talented. Metallica is cool, although it's not a band I go out of my way to listen to anymore. But growing up my dad got me into them and that definitely had an influence on ...
  4. The Year Of The Fox?

    ^According to a Canadian "Chinese" Calendar.

    It's bullshit, but I thought it was chuckle-worthy anecdote, and I didn't know what to title this blog because I don't even know what it's going to be about.

    Got an article (or two?) in the works. This time they're on writing. One's "Writing's Not a Pleasure; It's a Discipline", and the other is... I forget. You see, I've been up since 7PM yesterday; not only is that a messed up time to wake-up, but also the ...

    Updated June 26th, 2017 at 06:58 PM by Smith

  5. Eh?

    On my way to Toronto for a political convention and to attend Professor Jordan Peterson's reception dinner.

    Nervous? Yeah. I'm on my own; the fox has left his den. Like, how does one find a bus that will take me from downtown Toronto to where I need to go?

    And what am I going to say to my dad, who doesn't even know I'm here?

    Guess we'll find out. See you Monday, WF!

    From my phone,


    Updated June 16th, 2017 at 03:03 PM by Smith



    I haven't been this excited in forever! :0


    Super Ultra Deluxe Collector's Limited Edition, here I come! xD

    Updated June 12th, 2017 at 12:56 AM by Smith

  7. The Star Wars I'll Never Have

    It's a shame that when I look back all I can think is, "I used to watch Star Wars."

    With Lord of the Rings there is no looking back. It's right here. It will be left alone (knock on wood), and remain timeless. I'll still watch them for the rest of my life. Maybe not as often. But still at least once every year or two.

    That's not because Lord of the Rings is the epitome of fantasy, although I do think it was the peak of its time, and held that spot for a long while ...

    Updated June 5th, 2017 at 03:28 AM by Smith

  8. Back to the Grind

    I look like a lobster.

    Earlier this week on Sunday night I received a text from a friend of mine. He wanted to know if I could work for him, helping him paint houses.

    It was a mistake. I got baked.

    By the sun.

    Yep, I didn't wear any sunscreen and now instead of a TV tan I have a farmer's tan.

    Fortunately we didn't have work today because of the rain. Mentally I'm feeling quite well, although I think I could use a little more sleep ...

    Updated May 26th, 2017 at 03:00 AM by Smith

  9. The Relationship of the Professor and Businessman

    It's a placeholder title. Couldn't come up with anything swift for right now.

    There's a lot to glean from "The Rommel Papers". If you're unfamiliar, please feel free to check out my review of it here first. (hyperlink would be added in final draft)

    Approaching the book from just a historical or military angle is to miss the insights on life and human nature. What I want to grapple with in this blog is a specific contrast that Rommel makes between professors of ...

    Updated May 30th, 2017 at 06:09 PM by Smith

  10. Adderall

    Cut a pill in half yesterday afternoon and tried it for the first time.

    Wrote 1000 words in a period of about four hours. Not bad. And I found myself more focused on aspects of the story, the characters; my mind didn't drift as often, and when it did it wasn't as long as it'd typically be.

    What surprised me the most was how normal I felt. Truthfully it felt like... how I feel on a rare "good" day (without the help of drugs), when the stars align and by some miraculous ...

    Updated May 12th, 2017 at 11:17 AM by Smith

  11. Skype Talk with Jordan Peterson

    That's right!

    As a reward for donating $200 to his Patreon, I got to talk to the man himself today.

    We spoke for about 45 minutes about all sorts of things, but there was one thing he asked me that really "clicked".

    "Are you proud of anything you've written?"

    And when I thought about that I said "Yes".

    It felt like he'd asked me something that I ...

    Updated May 9th, 2017 at 11:46 PM by Smith

  12. Sloshed

    Looking back to 30ish minutes ago, maybe I should've walked you out to your car. I mean, we walked out the door together.

    But, I don't know. I wasn't ready to take charge of the situation; I'm a coward. Plus last time we saw one another - just a month ago - you told me you had a boyfriend.

    Didn't seem proper either way.

    Meh... more than likely isn't even a big deal. Best not think about it. Just ride out the buzz. Forget it. Forget you.

    Maybe next ...

    Updated May 6th, 2017 at 09:07 AM by Smith

  13. Times Like This

    At times like this it's hard to describe how I even feel. It's a mixture of emotions, and those don't separate nicely like oil and water.

    I don't know who I am.

    I don't know what to do anymore.

    I don't know why I'm even here.

    I don't know how to take the reigns of my life.

    Maybe that's why philosophy and psychology really appeal to me. Music. Writing. It's like I latch onto these things unintentionally but not randomly, and they not ...

    Updated May 3rd, 2017 at 10:22 AM by Smith

  14. Debate Wars - Clarity

    Been procrastinating too much lately. Guess the first step to fixing that is to acknowledge it, like any other problem.

    I've realized (again; you'd think I would've got it the first time) that I only have control over what I do.

    The only thing I can control is how I present myself. How I explain something, the amount of detail and level of specificity. ...

    Updated April 30th, 2017 at 08:47 AM by Smith

  15. Your Name


    I just saw the film "Your Name".

    It's changed my life.

    All cliches aside. I hate using that phrase. Like how "love" can lose meaning when you say that you "love" everything.

    I've never been a fan of anime. I don't mean that in the sense of disliking it. What I mean is that I've never really watched it. But after I walked out of the theater, across the empty parking lot and back to my car, ...

    Updated April 26th, 2017 at 06:49 AM by Smith

  16. Debate Wars - Clumsy Calumny


    So the hounds from my previous "Debate Wars" blog post have returned, and this time they've got some new tricks up their sleeve.


    In other words, they'll take advantage of the fact that I'm a fox, and call me a thief and make all sorts of false claims, so that hopefully the other forest animals will "turn me in".

    Allow me to explain how this works.

    Let's say you do an interview. ...

    Updated April 22nd, 2017 at 11:12 PM by Smith

  17. Is it real?

    I haven't been this down in a long time.

    Which means it's been a long time coming.

    By "down", the best way I can describe it is in the context of being numb. Obviously not physically, but from an emotional standpoint.

    And with how well things have been going lately, it leads me to ask just how real is this numbness. Not in the sense of whether or not it exists; that's pretty clear. What I mean is whether or not my depression accurately reflects reality, ...

    Updated April 19th, 2017 at 06:49 AM by Smith

  18. What If

    I'm starting to feel more and more as if Trump and Marine Le Pen are nothing more than controlled opposition.

    The "Hegelian Dialectic" is very interesting, and I'm looking for a couple books to read in regards to it. Probably no better place to start than Hegel himself.

    In theory, I think the way it works is humans work more-or-less in terms of "problem > reaction > solution." Governments and wealthy, powerful individuals have found ways to manipulate ...
  19. Get Out (and some other musings)

    The "Rotten Tomatoes" rating should've been a hint.

    I went into the theater half-expecting it to be some politically-motivated tripe and walked out amazed.

    Don't want to spoil it. But what I can say is that the movie "Get Out" truly transcended the topic of race in a surprising way.

    The acting was great.

    Allison Williams is a babe.



    EDIT: Because I hate putting this down in ...

    Updated April 10th, 2017 at 12:33 PM by Smith

  20. Review of "The Rommel Papers"


    The Rommel Papers are the incomplete memoirs of senior military commander Erwin Rommel that escaped burning by the author himself (in the event that he was being investigated by the gestapo), and remained hidden with the cooperation of friends and family after Hitler forced him to commit suicide on the grounds of suspected treason.

    Kept safe from the hands of the Nazis and Soviets, and recovered from their secret locations or American possession ...

    Updated April 5th, 2017 at 12:31 AM by Smith

  21. In Light of Recent Events

    Despite some comments in regards to my pursuit of journalism and my decision to leave my dead-end job, life seems to still be going well, if not better.

    A forum member on here was kind enough to help me set-up a free-lancing profile so that I can start to do some work on the side while I continue to search for another job. This was more than I could've asked for, and to show my sincerity I was sure to link them to my completed profile. Not only will it be money in my pocket but it'll ...

    Updated April 3rd, 2017 at 01:02 PM by Smith

  22. Life and Solitude

    Saw the horror movie "Life". It was decent. Reminded me I'm not a misanthrope, which is always good.


    In this day and age it seems too hard to disconnect. Yet, it's so important.

    I've come a long way in balancing my social and alone time though. Got rid of Instagram (uninstalled the app; my account still exists, unused), removed myself from Facebook, and yet I still stay in touch with the people who are most important to me... because that's how ...

    Updated March 24th, 2017 at 07:01 AM by Smith

  23. Recently Random Happenings

    My dad still doesn't know I quit my job. Walked off after my boss convinced me that he might as well be doing my job for me.

    As a friend eloquently put [quoted?], "More than a drop is required to make a thunderstorm."

    Indeed, and one could see the clouds brewing from miles away.

    It was particularly windy that day too, and thinking back on it symbolizes the cliche "winds of change". I'd planned to quit for some time now, but I'd hoped to ...

    Updated March 16th, 2017 at 06:48 AM by Smith

  24. Having Nobody To Talk To

    I'm sure most of you assume - and rightfully so - that since I'm quite polemic, I'm an exceptionally difficult person to be around in real life.

    Or, I don't know. Maybe NONE of you have ever assumed that, and I'm just projecting the fact that I don't like myself very much. This is more likely the case.

    Anyway, truth be told I actually have trouble baring my teeth in-person, because I'm not very sophisticated about it, compared to how I can articulate myself with writing. ...

    Updated March 8th, 2017 at 09:40 AM by Smith

  25. It's Been a While...

    Since I've actually wrote any fiction.

    There's my WIPs of course. I think I'm up to five now, one novella, two novels, and two short-stories. But every time I sit down to work on one of them recently I just get lost. Lose all drive. Part of it I'm sure, is not having them prioritized, so I can't focus on just one of them. Instead I'm sort of wandering all over the place in my mind.

    So perhaps prioritizing them, even if the prioritization changes from time to time, will ...

    Updated March 5th, 2017 at 07:28 AM by Smith

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